Anything But Ordinary
by ljwebby
Summary: Jess Rhodes falls for the only guy she has ever hated, and he falls for her. Can their relationship survive anything? Rated for language just to be safe.
1. Reflection

I've re-written this chapter as well as the others. Hope they are better. Review with a smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing but those whom you do not know.

* * *

Reflection

_Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show who I am inside?_

Jess Rhodes looked at herself in the mirror. She had also hated her reflection. She stood there wondering. Her best friend Lily Evans would come into the room any moment. She knew that Lily would tell her that she looked fine, but Jess wasn't going to buy it. She heard the doorknob turn and suddenly knew what she had to do. She spun round to see Lily staring at her. Lily had it easy; she was beautiful, clever and nice. Everyone at Hogwarts knew who she was. Mostly because one of the infamous marauders fancied her. James Potter. The one boy Jess loved. But he never noticed her when she was around Lily. When it was just her and James it was fine. She felt like she was the only girl alive. But whenever she was with Lily she felt invisible. Not that she cared. Jess had only really cared about getting good grades. But as she knew everything she wanted her last two years to be amazing. The only problem was Sirius Black.

Jess hated Sirius Black. She had done since she had met him on that first train ride to Hogwarts. She had been really excited. She had found a carriage with her best mate James Potter. They had sat down and were talking when he had come in. He seemed alright at first. They had talked and she had gotten on with him. Until Lily and Snape had entered. Jess had liked Lily the moment she had started talking to her. They became mates really fast. The only thing was that so had James. During the first five minutes Lily had been in the carriage Sirius had been ignore. This he hadn't liked at all. So he started picking on Jess. He called her ugly and fat. James had stuck up for her for the first few times it had happened. But soon as they had become roommates James had made up his mind to be mean as well and go along with Sirius.

Every time Sirius had seen Jess after that he had said something horrid. Lily told Jess to ignore it. But in fifth year Sirius had taken it that much further. He had jinxed her to have a pig snout. Lily had cursed him back. But Jess had hidden and avoided Sirius for weeks after that. She had heard James and Remus had had a go at Sirius for it. But Jess found it hard to believe that James had taken her side, as he was still with Sirius not her.

Bringing her to this moment. She turned to Lily. "Lily look at my reflection. Lily I want a makeover. I want to be pretty, and don't say anything to me. Don't make me rethink my decision. I want to do this and I need your help." Lily sighed. Lily had always told Jess that she looked pretty and that she should just forget about Black. But Lily knew that Jess had thought a lot about this, and Lily wasn't about to argue with her. Because this time she as not going to win.

"Okay. Fine. I'll help you. I thought you were going to ask me. So I brought some stuff." Lily pulled a huge bag out of her suitcase. Jess looked stunned she would never have expected Lily to do something like this. "I have hair dye and make-up and a few spells." Jess smiled. Lily looked up at her. "Come on we have a lot of work to do. This isn't going to take just today, we have to get you fit and go shopping." Jess liked the sound of shopping. But getting fit? Oh well, she thought. It's for a good cause.

The day before the first of September Jess stood in front of her mirror. Lily walked in and smiled. "So Jess, what do you think?" Jess sighed. She looked herself up and down. Before she had been fat, with long dark hair and had had spots all over her face. But now, she was skinny and had short blond hair with no spots on her face. But she had thick eye liner around her eyes and had full lips. She was wearing a short skirt and a crop top. She was even wearing heels. Jess smiled and spun around to look at Lily.

"This is the new me. And you know what? I love it. I can't wait to see the look on Black's face when he sees me." Lily laughed.

"It'll be priceless. I might even bring my camera." Jess looked back at her reflection. She didn't look like her but Jess knew that her personality also had to change as well. She wasn't going to be the shy quiet girl who sat in the corner anymore. She was going to Jessica Rhodes the drama queen bee of Hogwarts and there was no one who was going to stop her. Not even Sirius Black.

* * *


	2. Defying Gravity

Second chapter. Review please and you get a smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing you know from Harry Potter.

* * *

Defying Gravity

_Too long I've been afraid of, losing love I guess I've lost. Well if that's love it comes at much too higher cost. I'd sooner buy defying Gravity, kiss me goodbye I'm defying Gravity. And you can't pull me down._

When she got on to platform nine and three quarters she felt every eye on her. She felt good. She saw Lily talking to Jess's other best mate Yasmin Heart. Lily saw her and waved. Jess ran up to them. Yasmin laughed and looked impressed. "Well Jess I have to say you scrub up well. You look amazing." Jess smiled. She had never felt so amazing.

"Thanks Yas, I feel really good." Yasmin smiled and laughed more. "Come on let's get on the train." Jess followed Lily on and caught sight of the marauders. She wasn't sure whether she wanted them to see her yet. So she pulled herself up onto the train and quickly shut the door.

Sirius Black was truly happy to be back with his mates. He had been out with James a few times over the holidays but he hadn't seen Remus or Peter at all. Remus looked a little tried as the full moon had only been a few nights ago. But Peter was just normal Peter. Sirius knew this year was going to be good. He knew that every girl was looking at him when he walked onto the platform. He liked that feeling. His best friend James Potter was bobbing up and down next to him. Sirius rolled his eyes. "For good sakes Prongs, looking for Evans already? I'm sure she's here somewhere and I bet you we'll end up in her carriage, we always seem to." James laughed at his best mate.

"Guess you're right. I wonder whether Jess is here." Sirius frowned. He never understood why James was still trying to be friends with Jess Rhodes. She was nothing. Sirius didn't hate her, but he wasn't keen on her. And people expected him to be mean to her. Which he was every time he saw her.

"Who cares if she is or not. Come on if you really want to see Evans and Rhodes they'll be in the same carriage. Let's go and find them." And with a smile he pushed his best friends in to the nearest door.

Remus went in first and they had only walked past a few carriages when he saw Lily running out of a carriage. He yelled out to her. "Hey Lily!" She turned around and smiled.

"Hi Remus how was your holiday?" Remus made a face which made her laugh. But her face fell when she saw James. "I'll see you later Remus." She ducked into the crowd of students. Remus smiled and opened the door to the compartment she had run out of. What he saw stopped him in his tracks. Yasmin Heart was sitting there talking to a girl he didn't recognise. They looked up at the sound of the door opening. They both smiled at him. He smiled back, but didn't take his eyes off of the new girl. She looked somehow familiar. He heard a laugh from behind him.

"Hey Moony, go in already." He was pushed from behind right into the new girl.

"Sorry." They said at the same time. Remus looked right into the eyes, past the eye liner and suddenly knew who the girl he was laying on was. "Jess?" He jumped up banging into James. Jess smiled. James sat opposite and stared at her. Sirius was the last one to enter and when he saw Jess his jaw dropped. Who was she? He sat down next to her and smiled nicely to her. When she caught his eye however her gaze was cold and full of hatred.

"Hello Black. What do you want?" Sirius jumped back at the sound of that voice. James laughed and his smiled grew. Jess turned her head towards James and smiled beautifully at him. "Hi James. How was your holiday?" He nodded. Remus was still staring at her.

"Jess, why the change?" Jess turned her gaze to Remus, whom she smiled at and said politely.

"I want to try defying gravity." Sirius snorted. Jess's smile had suddenly gone and was glaring at Sirius. "Did I ask for your opinion Black? No I don't think I did. God, you are so up yourself!" She turned away and winked at James and Yasmin. James laughed and shrugged at Sirius. Who still had his gaze fixed on Jess. He couldn't believe his eyes or his ears. Was he still asleep? This couldn't be Jessica Rhodes, the shy girl who had always taken his shit. He shook himself out of it, but still had his eyes locked on Jess. God, she was hot. What the fuck was he going to do? He was not falling for the girl he had hated for the last five years. Not a chance. But every time she blinked he found himself falling for her charm. Suddenly he felt her gaze on him. "Hello? Anyone in there?" He snapped out of it and nodded. Jess frowned. "I just asked you a question, but you know what it doesn't matter." She turned back to James. Sirius felt Remus nudge him.

"You ok?" Sirius shook his head. Remus sighed. "Want to go into the corridor and talk about it?" Sirius nodded. They stood up. But no one in the compartment noticed. As James and Jess were too busy talking and Yasmin had her head in her book.

As soon as they got into the corridor though, Lily rushed past them. "Hello boys." She pushed past into the compartment. Sirius watched her close the door. He fell back on the wall of the corridor and looked at Remus.

"Man I am really fucked up."


	3. Freak Out

Hey guys, chapter three. Hope you like. Review and smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing you know from Harry Potter.

* * *

Freak Out

_Just Freak out let it go. I'm gonna live my life, I can't ever run and hide, I can't compromise because I'll never know._

Remus stared at Sirius with a look of confusion on his face. "Mate, what the hell do you mean? I mean, I've always known you were fucked up, but how this time?" Sirius looked up at Remus, he had a smirk on his face which Sirius was unsure about.

"I think I like Rhodes. I mean look at her. She looks amazing. But I can't like her. I can't, can I?" Remus started to giggle. Sirius frowned at him. "What?" Remus stopped laughing for a moment.

"It's just so funny. You like Jess, so what? Yeah she is hot. I'm not going to say anything against that. But get over her. She'll never go out with you. It's just a crush Sirius. It'll go away in time." With that he walked back into the compartment. Sirius stayed outside staring at the floor. He wasn't sure what to think. Was this a crush? Or had he liked Jess a lot longer than he thought? No way. She was just a girl. She was the girl who he took the mick out of, but how was he meant to say anything to her without blushing? Sirius shook himself out of it, it's just a crush, Remus is right, and it'll go away.

Back in the compartment Jess was staring at James, who was staring at Lily, who was talking to Remus. No one saw Sirius sneak back in. He sat on the edge of the chair looking out of the window. He was trying to avoid Jess's gaze. Not that she would take two looks at him. Just as he was thinking this, the train stopped making everyone fly forwards. Jess ended up on James and Lily ended up on Remus. Sirius however, didn't move an inch.

Jess looked up at James, who had his arms around her. She blushed and moved suddenly. "Sorry." She breathed and looked around; she was the only one standing up. "I'm going to find out what's going on." Sirius watched her leave.

"Yeah me to." He jumped up and followed Jess out. The train started to move again making Jess lose her balance, thankfully she fell into someone's arms. She smiled and turned to face Sirius. As soon as she saw it was him she pushed him away and her smile vanished.

"God, what the hell are you doing?" Sirius got a little annoyed with this.

"Saving you from looking like an idiot. Anyway, I came out here to ask you a question." He said to her. Jess put her hands on her hips and gestured for him to continue. "Well, why the change?" Jess sighed and smiled.

"Why the stupid face?" She made to walk around him, but he grabbed her arm.

"Answer the question Rhodes." Jess tried to move but found he was too strong. She sighed and rolled her eyes. She was sick of this. She couldn't believe him. Why was he being a jackass?

"Fine, I'll tell you why, I was so fed up with you taking the piss out of me all the time. Sick of people always thinking I was just the shy girl who Sirius Black liked picking on. I was sick of James ignoring me, just looking at Lily I mean for god sake what has she got that I haven't? But you know what? You can't tell me what to do! I'm gonna live my life whether you or James like it, so fuck off Black!" Jess suddenly realising what she had said slapped her hand to her mouth. Sirius stared at her. He was shocked at everything that had come out of her just then.

"Wait a minute! You like James? God Rhodes, don't freak out on me!" Jess was close to tears at that moment. Sirius saw the tears in her eyes and stopped laughing. "Jess I'm sorry." Jess felt the anger inside her. She snapped her gaze to him and narrowed her eyes.

"Leave me alone Black, don't tell anyone what you heard or I'll make your life hell. Believe me I will! I've had to put up with five years of your shit, so you know what, take your best shot at me. Cause I couldn't give a crap anymore. Leave me the hell alone!" and with that she pulled herself out of his grasp and slammed the compartment door shut.


	4. The Best Damn Thing

Hey guys chapter 4. Review with a smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing you know from Harry Potter

* * *

The Best Damn Thing

_Me, I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen. I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen.'_

Sirius hardly talked for the rest of the day. He was too busy thinking about what Jess had said. She liked James? Since when? She used to be his best friend. They used to do everything together. That was until he had come along. He was also trying to figure out why Jess hated him so much, apart from the fact that he had been mean to her ever since he had laid his eyes on her and stole her best friend. Maybe that was the reason she never talked to James after that first time he had laughed at her. Because she was embarrassed that she had made a fool out of herself in front of him. She had always gone a little flushed when he had hugged her. But that was way back in first year.

When they finally got to the common room, Sirius could feel Remus's eyes fixed on him. But he tried to ignore them. James and Peter went upstairs early and Lily and Jess followed them. Soon it was just Sirius and Remus. This was when Sirius turned to Remus, "What?" Remus was taken back with this,

"Huh? What do you mean?" Sirius rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe Remus.

"You know what I mean. The way you've been staring at me." A look of realization appeared on Remus's face. Suddenly he wouldn't meet Sirius's gaze. "Well, Remus?" Remus sighed and looked Sirius in the eye.

"Look mate, I know you think you like Jess, but I want you to know that it is just a crush. Don't drag her along with you. She doesn't deserve that." Sirius narrowed his eyes.

"Are you trying to tell me that you like her too?" Remus rolled his eyes and stared at Sirius, then said harshly,

"No, I'm just saying be careful with her. I know that she's suddenly become this wonder girl who thinks she can own the world. But you have to remember what you did to her. What she was like, she still has those feelings. Remember that." And with that he pushed past Sirius, leaving him with his feelings.

Little did they know Jess had heard everything. She sighed and thought about what Remus had said. Sirius liked her? She shook the feeling away and smiled. Remus was a great guy. But she didn't need him fighting her battles for her. She looked round the corner and saw Sirius still standing there staring out of the window. Jess thought about how cute he looked just staring into space. Then mentally slapped herself. She did not just think that! Not now or ever will she think anything like that ever again about Sirius Black.

The next morning Jess woke up early and showered. She felt awake and happy. She remembered what Remus had said yesterday. And knew he was right, but she had to prove him wrong. To Sirius, to Remus and to herself. She wasn't that girl anymore, but then she was. Sighing she stared at her reflection. She shook her head and put a smile on her face. This was just her nerves, nothing else.

Sitting at breakfast a Ravenclaw boy came and sat next to her. "Hi. I'm Dave, you're Jess right?" Jess smiled and nodded. "I'm in your transfiguration class. You're really good at it." Jess shyly laughed.

"I'm not that good. I have been practising though. Wait a minute; you're the one who set Sirius's hat alight last year, aren't you?" Dave tried to innocent, making Jess laugh even more. "I'll take that as a yes."

From further down the table Sirius was mocking Dave. "God can't that guy get any creepier?" James looked down to see who he was talking about.

"Who Dave Smith? Wasn't he the guy who set your hat on fire last year?" Sirius glared at James. Remus laughed and gave Sirius a knowing look. Peter who saw the look suddenly knew what they were on about.

"No, I think it's because he's talking to Jess." James frowned at Sirius and snapped his head back down the table. Sirius saw that James suddenly looked pissed. Peter exchanged a look with Remus. "Prongs, what's up?" James stood up.

"I'll be right back." Sirius wasn't sure what to think. What the hell was James doing? He looked around but didn't see Lily anywhere. Remus nudged Sirius.

"Look where he's going." Sirius saw James stop right by Jess. Sirius shook his head.

"Oh god no!" He slammed his head on the table.

Jess stared up at James. He was smiling at Jess. But Jess didn't like that smile. She cleared her throat. "What do you want James?" James turned his gaze to Dave.

"I want a word with you Smith." Dave looked confused. "Back off mate alright? Leave Jessie alone. I know what you're like. If you mess with her you'll have me to answer to." Dave was on his feet now right up close to James.

"What is it to you Potter? It's not like you and Jess were ever that close, you were always taking the piss out of her. So I don't see what gives you the fucking right to come up to me and tell me what to do." James took a warning step forward and glared Dave right in the eyes.

"I know what you did to Yasmin. You piece of shit! Leave Jessie alone." He grabbed Jess by the arm and pulled her away. Jess who had no idea what the hell was going on, threw a look at Dave to say she was sorry. James pulled Jess out into the corridor passing Lily on the way out. Jess caught her eye and shrugged. James hadn't even seen she was there.

Remus stood up pulled Sirius with him. "Come on we'd better go." Sirius nodded and they followed James and Jess out of the door.

Outside Jess was standing there glaring daggers into James. "What the hell James?" James turned to Jess.

"Jess, what have you turned into? I was just trying to save you from a jackass. You know what he's like. Why did you even let him talk to you?" Jess stood back, she was so angry at that moment.

"And what right do you have to tell me what to do and who to talk to? Like you care! You think you're the best damn thing Potter! But you lost the right to try and save me the first time you laughed at me! I can't believe you." She turned to walk away. But James grabbed her arm. She spun round to catch his eyes; there was a look of hurt in them.

"Come on Jessie, we're best mates. What happened?" Jess sighed and felt like crying. She stared at him.

"I don't know. I want to be able to trust you James. But right now, you have to earn my trust back. And maybe we can be best friends again, but right now, you're not even on my Christmas list." James laughed gently. "Just give me time hey?" She touched his arm and smiled. All the anger had gone. He nodded.

"From now on, I am going to be there for you. No matter what!" Jess smiled and walked back into the great hall leaving Sirius staring at James. He was confused.

"What just happened?" James and Remus looked at Sirius and laughed. Sirius shrugged and looked back after Jess. Maybe there was more to her then what he had first thought.


	5. Things I'll Never Say

Hey guys, chapter five. Review with a smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing you know from Harry Potter.

* * *

Things I'll Never Say

_Marry me today; guess I'm wishing my life away, with these things I'll never say._

Jess was making her way down to potions when she heard footsteps running towards her. She frowned and turned around. She smiled when she saw James was the person who was coming to her. "Hey Jessie. Can I walk you to potions?" Jess looked away from him and nodded. She was suddenly nervous being around him. She couldn't understand it. When they were younger Jess would have done anything in front of James, but now she could feel herself wondering what she looked like. Was her hair alright? What if she made a fool of herself? It had happened before.

James kept throwing her looks, which were making Jess blush, but were also pissing her off. "What?" she stopped and turned to him. He was taken aback by this. But he made sure it didn't show. Instead he smiled.

"Sorry, I was just wondering what you were thinking, tell me?" Jess stared into his eyes and wondered how he would take it if she told him. The words were right on the tip of her tongue, all she had to do was say, 'Hey James I've had a crush on you for a while now, what do you think about coming to Hogsmeade with me?' but all Jess did was stand there and stare at him with her mouth open. James frowned at her. This wasn't the Jess he knew. The Jess he knew would tell him anything. But she was pulling back and he needed to know why. "Jessie its ok you can tell me anything, you know that. You always have." Jess knew he was right, but she couldn't say the words. Go on Jess, be brave. But as she tried to say them she found other words coming out of her mouth instead.

"James, I want to, but I can't. I don't trust you anymore. Not when you're best pals with Sirius. I can't. You could tell him." James shook his head. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. She was holding back, and he knew it wasn't because of Sirius.

"Right Jess. But I tell you everything," He stopped himself because he knew this wasn't true. Jess nodded. But James couldn't meet her gaze as he knew there were many things that Jess didn't know. Like the fact he was an animagus and that every full moon he ran around with a werewolf.

"I know James, but I just can't. Like I said give me time." James sighed. He had just lied to his best friend. He was such a hypocrite. Jess looked at James and suddenly knew he was holding back. "Look James, we all have things we'll never say to each other. Maybe this is one of those things. Just like I know you have something you're hiding. Don't worry I don't expect you to tell me." And with that she walked off leaving James staring into midair feeling very guilty. He didn't move until Sirius walked around the corner with Remus.

"Hey Prongs! Wake up make. What happened to you?" James turned to Remus and sighed.

"Remus we have to tell Jess about us." Remus turned sheet white and Sirius shook his head. James had to make them understand. "Look I need her trust back. You guys don't know what it's like to have her act like this, it isn't good. She hates me and she doesn't trust her. I need her trust. Please guys, I know you trust her Remus you tell her everything. Well apart from the fact that you're a werewolf." He mouthed the last word. Remus had colour back into his cheeks and started to smile. James saw Sirius's mouth drop open. "Remus why are you smiling?" Remus turned a sudden dark shade of red.

"Well, I kinda, might of, well. She might already kinda sort of, know already." He stuttered to them very fast and quietly. But they still heard it. Sirius's mouth had dropped even lower, if possible and James's eyes were wide.

"What?! She knows about you, since when?" Remus shrugged.

"She might have worked it out in third year." It was Sirius's turn to speak this time,

"Does she know about us?" He said this slowly and softly. James nodded with the question. Remus kept his gaze on Sirius and shook his head.

"I don't think so." James sighed and stood up tall.

"Well that's a good thing, because I have to be the one to tell her." He glanced at his watch. "Shit, we're going to be late. Come on." They started to walk to potions, none of them saying a word. They were all lost in their own thoughts. James was wondering how he was supposed to tell Jess, what Jess was holding back and about that he hadn't said hello to Lily. Remus was worrying about how Jess would take the news and he was secretly hoping that Jess would become an animagus as well. Sirius however was just thinking about how amazing Jess was. How that she had just accepted the fact he was a werewolf and that now she was going to know all their secrets. Also that he could never say anything about how he felt to her, mostly because she hated his guts and that she loved James. It annoyed him so much that James didn't know how lucky he was. Sirius knew that it was going to be another lesson of staring at Jess and shooting daggers into James's back.


	6. Lovefool

Hey guys, chapter six. Review with a smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing you know from Harry Potter.

* * *

Lovefool

_Love me, love pretend that you love. Leave me; leave me just say that you need me._

The rest of the week was awkward for Jess somehow. She was talking a lot more to James and that scared her. She wasn't sure how to act around him. She couldn't help watching him when he did things. Like when he laughed he threw his head back and when he was thinking deeply his eyes would wander off into the distance. She couldn't keep her mind away from James. And it was getting worse. But she did notice whenever Lily was in the room James would just stare at her. Jess's heart would sink when she saw him doing this. To make things worse Lily was reacting to James. She would laugh at his jokes and not say he was an idiot as much. But she still said no when he asked her out. Jess was fed up.

Jess and Lily were the last ones left in the common room that night. Remus was in the hospital wing as it was the night after the full moon and James and Sirius had gone to bed early. They weren't sure where Peter had gone off to. Lily was studying while Jess was staring out of the window when she looked over at Lily. She had to tell her. Lily was her best friend. She could tell her anything. Sighing Jess sucked it up and cleared her throat. Lily frowned and looked up at her. "What's up Jess?" Jess rolled her eyes and sat closer to Lily.

"I need to tell you something, something which you may not like." Lily dropped her quill and put her homework to the side and sat facing Jess. Jess took a breath and said, "Ok, I like James." Lily frowned. Jess didn't say anything and waited for Lily to understand the meaning of what Jess had said. Lily's eyes suddenly widened.

"You mean like like James?" Jess nodded and found she couldn't meet Lily's gaze. When she heard Lily start to laugh. Jess got annoyed.

"What is so funny?" Lily pulled herself together.

"Sorry, but you thought I might have a problem with you liking Potter? Why would I? You can have him." Jess sighed and shook her head. Lily's face dropped. "Why not?"

"He's my best friend Lily. I can't and I won't. I'll never act on my feelings. He likes you too much. And I don't think we suit each other." Lily looked like she was going to cry, Jess felt the tears coming to the surface. "It doesn't matter." Lily hugged Jess. Jess let a tear fall. Lily pulled away and shrugged.

"It's only Potter. And if he doesn't see how amazing you are then he is blind. Any guy would be lucky to have you. I mean you're kind and funny. Clever and not to mention hot." Jess laughed at the last one. "Forget him Jess. You can do much better than him. He's a jerk." Jess nodded.

"Thanks Lily. You know how to cheer me up." Lily smiled and picked up her book again. Jess fell back into the chair and smiled. She felt happy and Lily was right. James was a prick, why did she like him that much?

The next day Jess was tried. She had gotten hardly any sleep. Sirius saw this and poured her a cup of coffee. "Here. It'll make you feel better. Believe me." Jess looked up and accepted the cup without a word. Sirius sighed and stared at her. He followed her gaze and saw that she was looking at James who was talking to Peter about something. Sirius shook his head. He didn't understand why she liked him that much.

"Hey Sirius." He spun around and saw Remus walking towards them. Remus sat next to Jess, who had her head in a book. "Up late last night Jess?" Jess peered over the book and groaned.

"Yeah. I've had a lot on my mind." Once again her eyes shot towards James. Sirius rolled his eyes. Remus saw him do it. Jess turned to Remus and asked in a low tone. "How was Thursday night, as I didn't see you yesterday?" Remus made a face. Jess laughed. "I would have come to see you, but I had other things to worry about." Remus shrugged. Jess smiled and pulled him into a hug. He returned it. Sirius huffed and stood up. He could not believe Remus was hugging her in front of him.

"Well, I'm going to go, see you later Moony." Sirius said coldly. Jess pulled away from Remus and followed Sirius's figure out of the great hall. She frowned and looked at Remus who was looking kinda guilty.

"What's his problem?" Remus looked up at her, the look of guilt gone. He shrugged and started another conversation.

Sirius didn't talk to Remus for the whole day. Remus thought he was being childish. James noticed this and went to talk to Sirius about it. "What is up with you mate?" Sirius shrugged.

"Don't know what you mean." James pissed off shoved Sirius and pushed him up against the wall.

"You know what I mean. Now stop being a jerk towards Moony, I don't care what the reason is, but just leave him alright?" Sirius pushed James away and nodded. James smiled. "Right, we need to start inviting people to the Halloween party." Sirius smiled and knew exactly to invite.

He found Jess sitting with Lily on the front steps. "Hello ladies." Jess rolled her eyes and Lily smiled at him. He sat down next to Jess. "Alright then, I was just wondering if you two want to come to our Halloween party." Jess looked at Lily. Lily shrugged an okay then at her. Jess turned to Sirius and nodded.

"Alright then." Sirius smiled.

"Great." He jumped up and ran back into the entrance hall with one look back at Jess he knew that this party could be the opportunity to get Jess to know exactly how he felt and maybe she might feel something towards him, if he could only get James off of her mind.


	7. It's In His Kiss

Hey guys chapter seven. Review with a smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing you know from Harry Potter.

* * *

It's in His Kiss

_It's in his kiss, that's where it is._

Jess couldn't wait for the party. Maybe James would finally notice her. She hoped so. Lily kept telling Jess to forget about him. But the more she tried to not think about him, the more she did. If that made any sense?

So that weekend Lily and Jess went to Hogsmeade to both get outfits for the party. As they entered the costume shop Jess sighed. Lily rolled her eyes. "What's up Jess?" Jess looked up at Lily.

"Oh nothing. I was just thinking. Would you ever go out with James?" Lily shrugged.

"I'm not going to lie to you Jess, I think he's alright. But I doubt I would ever 'go out' with him. Too creepy." Jess laughed. She looked around and saw a little red riding hood outfit. She shook her head.

"I was only wondering. What about Remus?" Lily giggled at this. Jess frowned. "What? I mean I'd totally go out with him. If he wasn't so cut off from the world." Lily nodded.

"Guess so. I don't think it would work between me and Remus. We're too much alike." Jess gave her the 'fair enough' look. "So Jess, what about Sirius?" Jess dropped the dress she was holding. She reached down and picked it up and caught Lily's eye.

"So, how do you think you would tell if a guy likes you, or even loves you?" Jess asked Lily ignoring her question. Lily shrugged again. She picked up a princess's dress.

"I think I'll try this one on." Jess picked up an outfit of her own and they walked to the fitting rooms together. Jess sighed and put on the dress. She looked at herself. She wasn't sure. She heard Lily's voice, "Oh show me Jess." Jess rolled her eyes and walked out. Lily gasped. "Wow. You look amazing." Jess smiled and looked at Lily.

"So do you. You're Cinderella right?" Lily nodded. "So Lily, how do you think you can tell if a guy loves you?" Lily caught Jess's eye and knew she wasn't going to give up.

"Well, I guess if he treats you right and he tells you all the time that he loves you. Then I guess you'll be able to tell. Why? How do you think you can tell?" Jess smirked and laughed and said shyly,

"Well, my mum used to say that you can tell if a boy really likes you it'd be in his kiss." Lily laughed with Jess on this.

"I guess so." They got changed and brought their costumes. On their way back up to Hogwarts Lily narrowed her eyes at Jess. "Hey you never answered my question." Jess frowned not knowing what she meant. Lily smiled. "I asked about Sirius?" Jess remembered. She sighed and looked away from Lily. What did she think about Sirius? Well she certainly didn't like him like she liked James. Did she? She wasn't sure. He had been nicer this year and hadn't played any tricks on her. But Jess still didn't trust him.

"I don't know Lily. He's been acting all weird this year. Like he has suddenly changed into this nice guy who wants to help me. It's strange, but I do know I don't trust him. I don't think I ever will. Not that I'll ever need to. It's not like we're ever going to mean anything to each other." Lily frowned and then smiled.

"Well you never know. I mean I'm starting to warm up to James a little. I think that you might start to like him. I don't think he's that bad looking either. And he seems to like you a lot. I think you should give him a chance." Jess glared at her. She couldn't believe her.

"What the hell do you mean Lily? Black has been a jerk to me for five years just because he's started to be nice to me all of a sudden doesn't mean I want to be his best mate. So just leave it alone!" With that Jess stormed off leaving Lily there smiling to herself.

Sirius and James were walking up the hill when they saw Lily standing staring off into the distance. James smirked and ran up behind her. "Boo!" he yelled as he put both his hands on her shoulders. She spun around and glared at him.

"What the fuck you jerk?" James was taken aback by this. Lily seemed to calm down when she saw who it was. "Sorry Potter. You took me by surprise is all." James smiled and looked back at Sirius who was making his way over to them. He had noticed something was missing.

"Hey Evans, where's Jess?" Lily stared at him when he called her Jess. She looked to where Jess had stormed off to.

"We had a little bit of a misunderstanding." James rolled his eyes. Sirius however looked rather worried. When Lily saw this she smiled and waved her hand out in front of her as if it didn't matter. "Oh don't worry about it. She was off on another one of her rants about you Sirius. That was it." Sirius smiled at this thought. Jess thought about him, how good was that? Lily saw the smile as well and shook her head. "Believe me Sirius, it's not a good thing. Just try and be nice to her and stay out of her way. She has a bit of a temper sometimes." Sirius nodded. James however was looking in the direction of the castle.

"Was she ok?" Lily saw the concern in his eyes. "I'd better go see her." He made to walk back to the castle alone when a hand pulled him back. He turned to look into Lily's incredible emerald eyes.

"Leave her be. She needs sometime to figure things out. By tonight she'll be fine. And don't worry; she'll be at the party." Sirius smiled. He couldn't wait. He knew whatever happened tonight would happen. But what he didn't know was that was exactly what Jess was thinking. Shame it wasn't about him.

* * *


	8. When There Was Me And You

Hey guys, chapter eight. Review with a smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing you know from Harry Potter.

* * *

When There Was Me and You

_I thought you were my fairytale, my dream when I'm not sleeping, a wish upon a star that's coming true. But everybody else could tell that I confused my feelings with the truth, when there was me and you._

It was the night of the marauders Halloween party and Jess had butterflies. She had decided to tell James how she felt tonight. She had thought about it over and over and this was what she had decided to do. Lily wasn't so thrilled about it. But Jess didn't care.

It took them both two hours to get ready. Lily looked amazing in her Cinderella outfit. Jess had decided to go as a vampire. She had put heavy eyeliner on and red lipstick. Lily told her it might be a little over the top, but Jess knew what she was doing. She was a black dress with a cape and she had put fangs in.

Sirius had dressed up as Count Dracula. James was a knight and Remus had dressed up as a werewolf, though he wasn't thrilled with this choice in costume. "Cheer up Moony, you look great." Remus stuck his finger up at Sirius, who smiled. "Relax. I feel tonight is going to be a good one." James laughed.

"What so you can pull a girl or two?" Sirius's smile turned into an evil grin. James just laughed even more. Remus however wasn't impressed. Sirius shrugged at him.

"Just be careful Sirius." Sirius ignored him.

When Lily and Jess appeared the party was already in full swing. James saw them straight away. "Hello my beautiful ladies. How are we this fine night?" Jess could feel herself going red. James looked her up and down. "Very nice Jess, a vampire. Cool. Lily you look really pretty. Come and get a drink with me." James took her hand. Lily turned back to Jess; she threw her a look that told Jess she was sorry. Jess sighed and smiled at her. It didn't matter she still had the rest of the night. She saw Remus standing on his own staring into space. She smiled and went up behind. She placed her arms round him and whispered,

"I want to suck your blood." Remus smiled. He turned around in her arms; she removed them and smiled at him. "Hey." She frowned at his costume. "Werewolf hey?" Remus rolled his eyes.

"Sirius's idea." Jess nodded. "So do you want to get a drink?"

"Yeah." She took his arm and he led her to the drinks table, where Sirius happened to be. He was talking to a tall Hufflepuff girl when he saw Jess and Remus. He glared at Remus and took another bottle of Firewhiskey. He walked over to them.

"Hey Moony. How's the night been so far? Aright there Jess?" Jess nodded and smiled. Remus gave her a bottle of Butterbeer. Sirius frowned at this. "Oh Remus, stop being so safe. Here Jess have some Firewhiskey. It's stronger stuff." Jess looked at the bottle of Firewhiskey in Sirius's hand. She wasn't sure.

"Isn't that stuff alcohol?" Sirius nodded. Jess sighed and shook her head. "No thanks Black. I'd rather not get drunk." She took the bottle of Butterbeer from Remus. Sirius put the bottle down. He was annoyed now. He watched as Jess asked Remus to dance. He watched them dance and while he did this all he did was drink.

After her dance with Remus, Jess knew she had to go find James. She looked around for him. But she found she couldn't find him. She wasn't looking here she was going so she knocked someone over. "Sorry. Oh hi Peter." She helped Peter up. "Hey have you seen James?" Peter smiled at this. Jess could tell he had been drinking.

"Oh yeah, I've seen James. He's gotten himself a girl. And not any girl. Sirius owes me Firewhiskey." He laughed and walked off, to Jess guessed find Sirius. Then she took in what he had said. He had gotten himself a girl? Jess could feel her heart pull. She pressed on. She had to know who he was with.

She turned a corner and found Lily and James in an intense lip lock. Jess just stood there. She felt her heart break. She could feel the tears in her eyes. She turned away and walked. She found herself in front of the drinks table. All she could see were the bottles of Firewhiskey. Jess sighed and took one and opened it. She didn't care about anything. At that moment she could hardly believe what she had seen, but she knew it had been real. She sat in the corner and just drunk. She was so depressed. She thought about all the things her and James had done together. Remus saw her and sat down next to her. She put her head on his shoulder and cried. Remus hugged her. But didn't realise she was still drinking.


	9. You've The One That I Want

Hey guys, chapter nine. Review with a smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing you know from Harry Potter.

* * *

You're the One That I Want

_I'd better shape up, if I'm gonna prove, you'd better prove that my faith is justified. Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure down deep inside. You're the one that I want; you are the one I want.... _

Remus had left Jess for five minutes to use the loo, and now he couldn't find her. Anywhere. He was nervous. He knew she was drunk and he knew she might do something stupid. Sighing he went to look for her.

Jess ducked. She didn't want Remus to find her. When he walked off in the other direction Jess let out a giggle. She stood up and turned round and banged into someone. She landed on her butt and went to glare at the person when she saw Sirius smiling down at her. He offered her his hand. She accepted. "Hey Jess. Want to dance?" Jess's mind was screaming for her to say no, but somehow she ended up saying,

"I'd love to Sirius." At the sound of his name Sirius's grin grew. He pulled her put on the dance floor, just as a slow song came on. Jess looked around as the light dimmed. For a moment Sirius thought she was going to pull away. But she didn't. He smiled. But when he spun her around he suddenly knew why. There dancing in the corner was Lily and James. Sirius was going to let go of her, but Jess pulled him close. "Don't say a word." Sirius looked down at her. She had tears in her eyes and looked helpless. They stopped dancing and stared at each other.

Jess's mind once again was shouting, pull away. But something told her to stay. She watched as Sirius came closer to her and she closed her eyes. She felt his soft lips on hers. She smiled at the kiss. He felt this and deepened it. Jess felt this and knew it wasn't right. But she found herself giggling. Sirius opened his eyes and pulled away.

Jess stared at him and giggled even harder. Sirius wasn't impressed. "What the hell Rhodes?" Jess giggled and put her hand to her stomach.

"I'm sorry. But you just kissed me!" She started to laugh this time. Really hard. People had stopped dancing around them. Lily and James were watching them. Remus appeared next to Jess. "Why did you kiss me? I don't understand, is it because I've changed? I bet it is." Sirius found he was speechless. He closed his eyes for a moment. "But you know what Black? I'm still the same Jess." By this time James and Lily were near them. James stared at Sirius. Lily moved towards Jess. When she tried to touch her, Jess pulled back. "Black I hate you!" She screamed. Sirius took a step backwards. Jess had tears rolling down her eyes. She looked at James. Then she shook her head. "No, I don't really hate you. Not that much." She said this softly and slowly. She caught Sirius's eyes again. She ran up to him and kissed him once again. "In fact you're the one that I want." She giggled and fell back. It was lucky Remus was there to catch her. Sirius was rooted to the spot. James helped Remus. Jess was fighting against them. "Leave me alone. I want to stay." James picked up her feet, while Remus took her arms.

They took her back to the common room. Lily followed. Once they got there Jess had fallen asleep. Remus and James set her down on the sofa. Remus and James sat next to her. James pushed her hair away from her face. He then put his head in his hands. "What the hell was that about?" Remus shrugged. Lily however knew exactly what it was about. But didn't say anything. "I can't believe she got drunk! Jess would never do anything like this." They heard the portrait open behind them. When James saw who it was he ran over to them and rugby tackled them to the floor. "You son of a bitch!" He roared while attacking Sirius. Remus pulled James off of Sirius, who lay there. Lily stayed by Jess. James yelled at Sirius, "This is all your fault. If you had just stayed away from her nothing would have happened." Sirius got up and shook his head. He was just as pissed as James.

"How the hell can you say this is my fault? You were the one..." When he saw the look on Lily's face he stopped. James calmed down and glared at him.

"I was the one who what? Spit it out Sirius!" Sirius shook his head. He sunk into the closest chair.

"No, I guess you're right. It's all my fault. I should have known better. I'm sorry." James just stared at him. This wasn't like Sirius; he never gave up on a fight. He looked at Remus, who was also staring at Sirius. Lily who could see the confusion on James's face sighed and stood up.

"Ok, I think we've all had enough partying. Let's go to sleep." She kissed James goodnight and smiled at the other two.

"What about Jess?" Lily smiled. She waved her wand and Jess's body moved up the stairs. Without another word she followed it.

* * *


	10. Somebody Told Me

Hey guys, chapter ten. Review with a smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing you know from Harry Potter.

* * *

Somebody Told Me

_Well, somebody told me, that you had a boyfriend, who looked like the girlfriend that I had in February of last year..._

The sunlight on her face was the thing that woke Jess up the next morning. She had a horrible headache and really didn't want to get out of bed. Slowly she sat up and looked around the room. She appeared to be the only one there. It was a Sunday so most people would already be up. Jess groaned and laid back down. For some reason she really didn't want to get up. She closed her eyes and tried to think why she would have a headache. What had happened last night? She snapped her eyes opened. Last Night! She jumped out of bed to fast and banged her head on the top of the four post bed. She collapsed onto the floor. As she was getting herself back onto the bed, the door opened. Jess turned her head and saw Lily standing there. Jess smiled. "Hey Lily." Lily sighed and walked in and sat next to Jess on her bed.

"Jess, are you alright? I mean after last night..." Jess put her hand up for her to stop.

"Lily, what happened last night? I can't really remember anything, it's all a blur." Lily looked rather stressed out. She shook her head and looked out of the window. Jess knew something was wrong and groaned. "Did I do something stupid?" Silence was her only answer. Jess closed her eyes. "Lily, you have to tell me. Please?"

"I kissed James." She whispered this and as Jess turned to look at her she had tears rolling down her face. "It just happened. I'm so sorry Jess." Jess shook her head. Lily burst into tears. Jess hugged her.

"It doesn't matter Lily. I'm okay with it. I kinda guessed you would end up with James. I mean of course I'm a little annoyed, but I'm going to be okay." Lily sniffed and sat up out of Jess's hug.

"Thanks you Jess. I was so worried and what happened last night, I just knew you were pissed." Jess froze. She stared at Lily. She started to feel incredibly worried about what she did last night.

"Lily, tell me what happened." Lily looked her straight in the eye and sighed.

"Jess, you're not going to like this. You kissed Sirius." Jess's face dropped and her eyes widened. She found her speechless. She started to speak, but couldn't find the words. "I'm sorry Jess. But you kinda yelled at him as well. It wasn't pretty. Then James yelled at Sirius, it was a nightmare." Jess stared at the floor. Parts of last night flooded back to her. She could see Remus hugging her, she could see herself kissing Sirius, then she pulled away from these thoughts.

"Oh my god! What the hell did I do?" Jess stood up. "I have to talk to someone. I need to see James." She made to walk out of the door when Lily stopped her.

"No Jess. You don't have to see James. Him and Sirius are cool; the person you need to talk to is Sirius. I don't care if you don't want to. You have to. It's only fair." Jess looked at Lily and knew she was right. Jess sighed,

"Fine, I'll go see Black; I'll tell him somebody told me about last night." She caught a look at herself in the mirror. "Right after I shower." Lily smiled weakly. Jess smiled back and made her way to the shower. As she closed the door she waited until she knew Lily was out of the room to breathe out. She shook her head. She had no intention of talking to Sirius at all. Instead she was going to avoid him like the plague and nor Lily or anyone else was going to make her talk to Sirius Black.


	11. There She Goes

Hey guys chapter 11. Review with a smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing you know from Harry Potter.

* * *

There She Goes

_There she goes, there she goes again. She calls my name, pulls my train; no one else could heal my pain. And I just can't contain this feeling that remains. _

So far Jess's plan was going well. She hadn't talked to Sirius at all. Which she was more than happy about. Sirius however really wanted to talk to her. He was in the same position she was. Remus had told him everything about what had happened that night. That night had been two weeks ago.

Sirius hadn't even gotten within three metres of Jess in that time. Every time class ended he had ran to the front of class, but he always ended up missing Jess. He tried to catch her at breakfast, but she always avoided him by jumping into a crowd. He even tried waiting outside the girl's bathroom, but somehow someone would distract him and he'd turned and there she'd go down the corridor away from him. He was getting really pissed off with her.

Remus sat next to him in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Sirius looked at him. "Still haven't talked to her yet?" Sirius nodded and put his head on the desk.

"Remus, what am I meant to do? I try my hardest to talk to her, but she doesn't want to hear it!" Remus looked over at Jess. She was sitting at her desk; Lily was talking in her ear. But Remus could tell she wasn't listening as her eyes were set on Sirius.

"There might be hope yet for you my friend. Just give her time." Sirius banged his head again on the desks surface.

Lily clicked her fingers in front of Jess's face. "Hello? Trying to talk to you here, is anyone in there?" Jess snapped out of her trance. Lily gave her a look.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" Lily narrowed her eyes and looked over to where Jess had been staring.

"I'm guessing you weren't admiring Remus." Jess sighed and rolled her eyes. "Jess, you got to talk to him. James keeps telling me that he won't shut up about you. Just give him a chance. You said you would. And that was like, two weeks ago." Jess sighed again and looked back over to Sirius. She wasn't sure. Her head was full up with questions. Did she like Sirius? Why was she so scared of being close to him? Why didn't she want to talk to her? She suddenly realised that he was looking at her. She moved her head so fast her neck went click.

"Ow!" She put her hand to the back of her neck. Lily just shook her head. Jess sighed once more and left her head to try and figure it all out.

By the end of class Jess still didn't know what she was meant to do. She had been fighting with herself to go and talk to Sirius. But something was telling her not to, but at the same time something was crying out, "Talk to him! Tell him how you feel!" But she didn't know how she felt.

On her way up to the common room she realised she had taken a wrong turning. She stopped and looked out of the window. It was a clear night and the stars seemed to be saying something. The grounds were dark and Jess could hardly see anything. She sighed and turned back around when she saw someone who made her stop in her tracks.

"We need to talk."


	12. Kiss Me

Hey guys chapter 12. Review with a smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing you know from Harry Potter.

* * *

Kiss Me

_Kiss me, beneath the milky twilight, lead me out on the moon lit floor, lift your open hand, strike up the band and make the fireflies dance sliver moons sparkling, so kiss me. _

"We need to talk." Jess sighed and let her gaze go once more to the dark grounds. She nodded, but didn't say a word. She wanted him to say the first word. He moved closer to her. "So, what was that night about?" Jess shrugged, she felt nervous in his presence. "Did you mean anything by your actions? Or were they just the actions of a drunken girl?" Jess held her breath; she suddenly knew exactly what she was meant to do. She turned to face him. She stared right into his eyes and said, "Kiss me." Sirius nodded and leant down to her. It was a gentle kiss and Jess felt like she was on fire. She had never felt like this in a kiss before. She pulled away. His eyes were closed. Jess stepped back.

"Did you fell anything?" She asked him in a whisper. Sirius opened his eyes and stepped backwards. What had he just done? He shook his head. Jess nodded. "Same here." Wait, what was she talking about? She placed a hand on his shoulders and smiled. "Thank you." She kissed him on the cheek. She left him standing on his own staring at where she had been standing. He heard her leave. He closed his eyes and placed a hand on his cheek. Then it hit him. She hadn't felt anything. He had. It was incredible. He shook the feeling off. He wasn't about to let the whole school think that Sirius Black had gone soft on one girl and let her go. He shook his head. He didn't need Jess. If she hadn't felt anything then neither had he.

Jess was happy when she woke up the next morning. She got up and for the first time in the last two weeks she smiled. She went down to breakfast with a smile on her face and sat and laughed with the marauders. James noticed this and didn't think anything of it. Remus however saw something which was wrong as soon as she sat down. As they walked out he pulled James to one side.

"Don't you think Jess is acting a little weird?" James shrugged.

"No, she's just happy. Look Remus I know you worry about her. Hell so do I. But Jessie doesn't have to have a reason to be happy." He smiled at Remus and walked past him.

Jess had a good day. The best one she could remember. She didn't worry about anything; she got through all her classes just fine. She was happy. She didn't think about Sirius once. As Lily had a prefect meeting Jess walked back to the common room on her own. She hummed to herself and was nearly there when she saw something that made her gag. Sirius was making out with a girl. You could hardly tell whose hands were whose. Jess stopped. She felt her heart smash. She closed her eyes and wished it was a dream. She heard a gasp and a giggle. Then she heard him say her name.

"Jess?"


	13. Don't Look Back In Anger

Hey guys chapter 13, review with a smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing you know from Harry Potter.

* * *

Don't Look Back In Anger

_And so Sally can wait, she's knows it's too l ate as we're walking on by. Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger, I heard you say. _

"Jess?"

As soon as Jess heard him say her name she flinched up and looked him square in the eye. He was frowning and Jess shook her head. From behind him she saw the girl he had been kissing. From inside her chest she felt a pang of hurt and felt as though she was going to cry.

Sirius thought she was going to start crying, he walked up to her and went to put his arm around her, when she swung her fist back and punched him right round the cheek. Jess was breathing heavily when she did that.

When her fist made contact with his cheek she gasped and jumped back from him. The girl from behind him rushed forward and tried to comfort him. Sirius turned his face and the first thing he saw was Jess. Jess had tears falling down her cheeks and a look of shock at what she had done on her face. Her whole body had frozen at her actions. The girl stood up and was about to yell at Jess, when Sirius held her back. "What did I do Jess?" he spoke in a calm voice filled with hurt.

Jess heard his question but couldn't answer it. Instead she turned away and whispered, "I'm so sorry." Sirius just heard this.

He wasn't sure what to think. He shook his head. "Jess, tell me. Why?" Jess felt as though she was going to be sick. There was nothing she could say. She had just hit him.

"I don't know." She said softly. She wouldn't look at him. She couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye. She breathed out and in. Blinking away the tears Jess turned and looked at Sirius's shoes. "I'm so sorry." She coughed out a sob and saw the girl with Sirius glare at her. She couldn't bring herself to look at her with anger, because she hadn't done anything wrong. It had been Jess who had been in the wrong. She gasped and turned without another word and ran.

Sirius stared at her departing figure and shook his head. The girl he had been with touched his shoulder. Sirius turned back around and shrugged as though it was a joke. By the look on the girl's face she thought something was wrong. Sirius knew he had to cover it up. "She has problems." And with that he went back to kissing the girl.

* * *


	14. Beautiful Liar

Hey guys chapter 14, review with a smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing you know from Harry Potter.

* * *

Beautiful Liar

_Let's not kill the karma, let's not start a fight. It's not worth the drama over such a beautiful liar._

The next day Jess came down to breakfast but was pulled to one side by Sirius. When she saw him she gasped. He had a huge bruise on his face and his hair was all messed up. She went to touch his face, but he grabbed her arm. "Yeah, nice punch by the way." Jess looked down with guilt.

"Look Sirius..." She tried to say sorry but he cut her off.

"Let's not do that. About yesterday, let's just forget that ever happened. Ok?" Jess nodded not knowing what to say. He smiled, "Great." And with that he walked out. Jess sighed and walked into the great hall. She felt even guiltier. She knew Sirius was pissed even if he wouldn't show it.

Lily saw her and smiled. "What's up?" Jess put on a smile. She was about to live up to the drama queen inside her.

"Nothing. Everything's fine." Lily seemed to buy it. So Jess sat through the day pretending. She pretended to listen to Lily go on and on. She pretended to celebrate when James told them about how Lily didn't hex him when he called her darling. But she knew it was all wrong. She knew she couldn't live like this. She had to talk to someone.

That evening after everyone had gone to bed. Jess and James were left in the common room alone. Jess had dropped the fake smile and had taken to staring into the fire. James saw this and put his arm round her. "Hey Jessie. You've been a bit out of it today haven't you?" Jess turned to look at him. He laughed softly. "You thought I wouldn't notice. I know when you're faking. You're a beautiful liar Jess, to people who don't know you like me. What's happened?"

Jess stopped. Could she tell James about her and Sirius? Would he be alright with what they had decided on? Would he be alright with the fact the Jess had hit Sirius? Then something in James's eyes told Jess she had nothing to worry about.

"Ok, but promise you won't hex me to death if I tell you?" James nodded. "Well, when I kissed Sirius at the party and I thought it meant something. So did he, I think. But when we tried it again. He said he didn't feel anything."

"And you did?" Jess rolled her eyes and stood up.

"I don't know! I said I didn't and then I saw him kissing a girl yesterday. And then I suddenly felt really pissed and punched him around the face!" James laughed at that. Jess frowned at him and hit him lightly. "It's not funny. Have you not seen the bruise?" James gasped.

"You gave him that bruise? I thought he had banged into the door. That's what he said. Oh my god! I can't believe that. Why though? Why hit him?" Jess sighed and sat back down.

"I don't know James. I think I was jealous. But why would I be jealous? I don't have feelings for Sirius." James hugged her.

"That's only for you to decide. I'm going to bed. Don't stay up to late." He got up and kissed her on the head. "Sweet dreams Jessie." She nodded.

"Yeah night James."

* * *


	15. When you're Gone

Hey guys, I am really sorry I haven't updated in a while. I am very sorry. But here's the next part. Review and smile guys. :) Jwebby

Anything you know from Harry Potter doesn't belong to me.

* * *

When you're Gone

_When you're gone the words I need to hear, will always get me through the day, I miss you. _

Jess awoke to the sound of someone swearing, "Shit!" very loudly. Jess groaned and picked her pillow up and put it over her head. Jess wasn't planning on getting out of bed today. She planned to stay in bed and dream the whole day away, the way she wanted her day to go. She closed her eyes and saw herself in bed. Oh wait, that was how she _was_ going to spend her day. Until Lily yelled through her curtains, "Jess! You have to get out of bed, now! You're going to be late." Jess picked up her pillow and threw it through her curtains, she heard someone yelp. She winced when she realised it wasn't Lily who she'd hit.

"Oh my god Rhodes, you're such a freak!" Jess rolled her eyes and opened her curtains and smiled sweetly.

"Hello Nancy, I'm terribly sorry. I was trying to hit the red head." Nancy Simpson sneered at Jess picked up her school bag flipped her long perfect blonde hair and stormed off out of the dormitory. Jess stuck her finger up at her back. Lily walked out of the bathroom and saw this gesture. "Jess!" Jess snapped her head at Lily and glared.

"There she is. Thanks to you, Nancy Simpson hates me now more than ever." Lily stood there with her hands on her hips staring at Jess, who smiled and laughed. "I threw my pillow at her thinking it was you." Lily laughed. The two of them did not get on with Nancy at all. She was always so stuck up towards the pair of them.

Fifteen minutes later Jess had finally gotten out of bed and was walking down the stairs to the common room. She reached the bottom and saw Remus sitting there staring at her. She smiled; he smiled back and stood up. Jess looked around expecting to see James or Lily, but no one apart from Remus. "Hey Remus. What are you doing?" Remus picked up his school bag and shrugged.

"I thought I'd walk you to breakfast. Seeing as Lily had already gone down with Yasmin. They said you were taking too long." Jess laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, sounds like me. Well, thanks Remus. But you didn't have too. I don't mind being alone." They walked through the portrait together. Remus smiled, and then he sighed.

"Look," He stopped her before she took another step. "There's something you should know. I heard what you said to James last night; I left a book in the common room and was coming down to get it. I'm sorry I should have told you. But I know how you feel and I think you're about to feel even worse with the sight that's in the great hall." Jess frowned. Remus grabbed her hand. "Come on. I'm here." Jess felt worried now, she wasn't sure what to expect.

But when she did get to the great hall, she wasn't expecting the sight she did see. Sirius sat there with a girl from Ravenclaw; they were all over each other. Jess stopped in her tracks. Remus squeezed her hand and pulled her forward. He whispered in her ear, "Relax Jess. Don't make a scene, I know what Sirius is doing, but I'll tell you later." Jess nodded and the both of them sat down next to James who was sitting as far away from Sirius as he could. Jess looked at him; he had a disgusted look on his face and was staring at Sirius.

"Oh looking at disgusting display are you?" James turned to her and his eyes widened.

"Jess, I'm so sorry. I couldn't stop him. They were like this when I came down." Jess poured herself some pumpkin juice and downed it. She couldn't stomach food.

"You don't have to be sorry James. You did nothing wrong. He needs to sort himself out. Maybe this is how he does it." James looked at his hands. Remus put his arm around Jess. Jess stood up, "Come on guys. Let's go. I can't stand being in this room any longer." She turned on her heel and left. Remus and James glanced at each other and went after her.

Sirius pulled away and saw his two best mates follow a girl storming out of the hall. The girl looked at him, "What is it baby?" Sirius pulled away and stood up.

"I have to go, sorry. Thanks a lot." He ran out after the three of them.

Jess breathed against a wall. She had just spent the last few hours trying to get rid of Lily and Yasmin. She had finally lost them. They were worrying about her, they too had seen Sirius. Well it was hard to miss him. He seemed to be with a different girl every moment. Jess was just tired of people asking if she was okay. James kept on looking at her strangely and she was fed up. Someone tapped her on the shoulder. "Jess?" She stood up and stepped away.

"Want to shove your tongue down my throat as well?" Sirius move forward, but Jess moved back. She didn't want to be anywhere near him right now.

"Jess, what's wrong?" Jess frowned and she felt anger fill up in her.

"What's wrong with me? You mean what's wrong with you? What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sirius rolled his eyes and stepped forward once again. Jess also took a step back. "Stay away from me you sick freak!" Sirius froze.

"What do you mean?" Jess took a threatening step forward this time.

"I mean, you're going around kissing every girl you see and you're asking me what I mean! God bloody hell!" Sirius sighed. He couldn't explain himself, because he knew that he wasn't even sure what he was doing.

"Jess, relax. I'm not hurting you in anyway am I? Am I?" Sirius asked again unsure about himself.

"What? Hurting me? What about those poor girls? You're using them, they aren't toys Sirius! You can't just use them and then throw them away. You're an animal!" Jess yelled at him, furious. She could feel herself shaking. Sirius stepped back. He could see her getting angry.

"Jess, calm down. It's none of your business." Jess shook her head.

"You don't get it, do you? You really don't get it! For once in your life get over yourself!" She shoved him out of her way. He yelled back at her,

"Take some of your own advice!" Jess turned the corner and burst into tears. She slide down the wall onto the floor.

It was hours until Remus found her. "Oh Jess." He fell to his knees and pulled her into his arms. He held her. "What happened Jess? Sirius came back and was in a really bad mood. He didn't talk to anyone, he just walked upstairs. James tried to talk to him but he couldn't get anything out of him." Jess whispered,

"I've lost him Remus." Remus looked down at her. "I've lost him forever." Jess wasn't crying anymore, she had run out of tears. "I couldn't stand it. Seeing him with all those girls. I keep thinking about him, when he's gone, off with those girls, it hurts Remus. It really hurts." She got quieter as she spoke. But Remus caught every word. He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.


	16. What If?

Het guys, next chapter. Review and smile. :) Jwebby

I own nothing you know from Harry Potter.

* * *

What If?

_What if I had never let you go? Would you be the man I used to know? If I'd stayed if you'd tried, if we could only turn back time. But I guess we'll never know. _

Remus helped Jess back to the common room, they didn't speak but Jess knew Remus was helping her. By not saying anything. She walked into the common room and James and Lily ran to her. They both threw their arms around her. "Oh Jess, I'm so sorry." Jess pulled away. James held her gaze. She smiled weakly at her.

"Don't be sorry. I'm ok, nothing can be done. I'll be fine." James hugged her.

"I'm here. Alright? If you need me, I'm here." Jess nodded and looked back at Remus who smiled at her. She smiled back. "Thank you." She took his hand and let go. She found herself incredibly tired. She waved to the boys and with help from Lily made her way up to their dormitory. She collapsed onto her bed. Nancy was reading on her bed. When she saw the two of them she sighed dramatically and stood up. She saw Jess on her bed and rolled her eyes. Lily saw this and coughed. Nancy narrowed her eyes. "I'll leave you two freaks alone." Lily shook her head,

"Get a life Simpson." Nancy simply glared and walked out. Lily breathed, "Bitch." She looked at Jess lying on her bed. "Oh my god Jess. Sirius is such an asshole. I can't believe what he did to you; I mean you talked to him so he should have known and all those girls!" Jess sat up.

"Lily," But Lily kept ranting about how worry Sirius was. "Lily..." Lily started to get louder and more horrible about Sirius, until Jess yelled, "Lily!" Lily shut up and turned to look at her. "It's my fault. I didn't tell him. I couldn't. He said he didn't feel anything for me, so I said neither did I. It was just easier if I did. I can't handle his drama. I don't know what has gotten into him, but all I keep thinking is, what if? What if I had told him? What if it was me and him? I just keep asking myself those questions. But it doesn't matter. Because I didn't say anything. I said nothing." Jess had tears in her eyes once more. Lily sat down next to her. She clicked her fingers and stood up all excited. Jess stared with disbelief at her.

"Then tell him. He's just as miserable as you are. He had a right go at James for asking what was wrong. I'm going ahead and say it's because of your argument. Just go after him. Tell him how you feel. Tell him everything, tell him you feel something. I bet you he was only saying he felt nothing because that's what he thought you'd say. Believe me, I know guys. Just tell him. And all those what if's will disappear because you'll know." Jess shook her head. Lily hit her round the head. "I thought you were going to be different this year. Now be that dramatic girl you said you were and go and tell Sirius Black you have a huge crush on him! Go now!" Jess stood up.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm going to tell him." She smiled and hugged Lily. "Thank you. I'd know you'd help. I'm really going to do this." Lily smiled as well and pushed her away and pointed to the stairs. Jess nodded, "Right going." She ran off down the stairs.

James and Remus were sitting playing exploding snap in the common room; James heard her running down the steps. When they saw it was Jess they stood up. James frowned, "Jessie, what's the matter?" Jess smiled and shook her head.

"Nothing, where's Sirius?" James pointed up to their room. Remus stood.

"Jess, I don't think you should go up there..." Jess waved her hand.

"Don't worry I know what I'm doing." Remus went to grab her but she was already up their stairs. James looked at Remus and Remus looked at James. They both ran at the same time.

Jess flew open the door of the boy's room and her jaw dropped. Sirius was lying on top of Nancy Simpson, he top half off. He looked round annoyed, but when he saw it was Jess he jumped off of Nancy, who rolled her eyes. Jess stood there staring at the two. Her blood was boiling. She wanted to hit something, really hard. Sirius walked over to her. "Jess, look this isn't what..." Jess kicked him right in the balls. He fell to the floor. She glared at Nancy who jumped down to Sirius. Nancy looked up at Jess with a look of hatred. "Oh my god Rhodes, what the fuck did you do that for?" Jess felt her face warming up and she slapped Nancy round the face, she brought her arm back and pulled her hand into a fist, but someone grabbed it before she could punch Nancy and break her jaw. She turned and saw Remus. He pulled her to him. James ran round them and when he saw the sight he shook his head and walked out. Jess watched him leave and closed her eyes. Remus led her away.

Sirius looked up and watched them all leave. Nancy helped him up, but he knew Jess hated him now and James wasn't exactly impressed. Nancy kissed him, "Leave them be Sirius. You don't need them, you're a Black. Remember that." Sirius nodded and stared into her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm a Black."


	17. It is You I Have Loved

Hey guys. Next part. Thanks for all you who have reviewed. Review and smile, thanks. :) Jwebby

Anything you know from Harry Potter I don't own.

* * *

It is You I Have Loved

_There's no more mystery, it is finally clear to me, you're the home my heart's searched for so long. And it is you I have loved all along. _

Jess walked into the common room, head high and heels clacking on the tile floor. She felt good. It had been two days since she had seen Sirius and Nancy together. She thought that it would have been hard but, nope she had told herself that she had no feelings for a certain Black anymore. She had made up her mind that she didn't need a guy at the moment. So she didn't need Sirius. The only problem was Nancy kept talking about the two of them together. Jess laughed inwardly when she thought about how Nancy actually thought she'd care. Little did she know that Sirius wasn't doing so well...

Sirius jumped onto his bed. He sighed and thought about his day. It hadn't been great; well some of it had been fun. Hexing Snape without getting caught had been fun and kissing Nancy every spare moment had been incredible. But the way Jess had been acting wasn't fun or incredible. In fact that was why Sirius was bummed out. He thought that maybe because he was going out with Nancy Simpson Jess would have been annoyed and confessed her feelings. But no, she was fine. She was acting totally okay. It was pissing Sirius off. He heard the door open. "Sirius?" Great it was Remus. Someone he didn't need in his face right now. "Come on Sirius, what's wrong?" Sirius turned and glared at Remus. Remus was slightly taken back by Sirius's look. Sirius stood up; he was a few inches taller than Remus and looked threatening to Remus. He found he had to take a step back. "Sirius?"

"What Remus?! What the fuck do you want? Do you want me to do? Do you want me to spill my feelings or something? Because if you do, you're asking the wrong guy." Sirius turned once more around. Remus frowned.

"Sirius what are you talking about? I just wanted to let you know..." Sirius blew up then.

"Let me know what?! That you're in love with Jess? That even though you knew that I liked Jess you went after her instead?! Do you really think you've got a shot with her?! You're nothing but a pathetic worthless good for nothing werewolf, who doesn't belong in proper society." Sirius suddenly stopped, realising what he just said. He stood there staring at Remus, who looked as though he was about to cry. Sirius tried to make amends, "Remus, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..." Remus turned and opened the door. He looked back at Sirius with tears in his eyes.

"Low blow Padfoot. But at least now I know how you feel about me. Thanks a lot." Remus swung open the door and slammed it shut. Sirius stood there shocked at what he done. He fell back down onto his bed and put his head between his knees.

James laughed. He was having a great time talking with Lily and Jess. He had never really sat down and talked with Lily before. All he used to do was yell randomly at her in the corridors. Even though he was enjoying himself, he still knew Jess wasn't exactly with them. He knew she had a lot to think about. Just then they heard a door slam from up above them. They heard footsteps and then saw Remus flying through the common room. James just got up to grab his arm. "Moony, what's going on?" Jess stood when she saw Remus had tears in his eyes. James looked back up the stairs and shook his head. "What the fuck did he do?" Remus was shaking.

"Let go of me James." He spoke very quietly, but it made James let go. He continued out of the common room. James threw a look at Jess, who nodded. She went after him. Lily stared at James. She touched his arm. "James, you're not going to do anything stupid are you?" James's face was full of anger. Lily let go, she had never seen James like this. She could only watch as James walked very fast up the stairs and out of sight.

"BLACK!" Sirius fell off of his bed on landed with a thump on the floor. Before he stood up James came in and kicked him in the stomach. Sirius fell once again to the floor and groaned. James went to kick him again, "What did you do to Remus?" Sirius leant back avoiding James's foot.

"Wait a moment. I was angry. I'm sorry. I was so angry." Sirius burst out into tears. James just stood there. In all the time he had known Sirius he had never seen him break down like this before. "I didn't mean any of it. I was just so angry." James sat down next to him.

"You were rather cruel I'm guessing." Sirius sat up against the wall and shook his head,

"You have no idea. I thought he liked Jess. The way they keep acting. I don't know what got into me. I doubt Remus will ever talk to me again. But I think I'm in love with Jess. Yeah, she's the one I have been in love with all along." James stared at Sirius. Had he just admitted his feelings? Sirius Black? Wait, had he just said he was in love with Jess? The girl who loved Sirius? James spoke very fast,

"Go and tell her." Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Look, trust me Sirius. Go and tell her how you feel. I bet you if Remus knew that then he'd forgive you." Sirius sighed and looked at the floor.

"Do you reckon?" James hit him round the arm. "What was that for?"

"Questioning me. Now go, go, go!" Sirius jumped up and ran out leaving James sitting on the floor shaking his head.

Sirius ran through the common room out into the castle. Where would she be? He had asked Lily where she was and Lily said she'd gone this way. He ran round the corner calling her name, "Jess!" He came to a sudden stop when he saw Remus and Jess holding each other closely. He felt his heart break. He shook his head. Jess had seen him. "Sirius?"


	18. Let's Hear it for the Boy

Hey guys. Thanks for the reviews so far! Luv to my reviewers. Here's the next chapter. Review and smile. :) Jwebby

Anything you know from Harry Potter doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Let's Hear It for the Boy

_Let's hear it for the boy; let's give the boy a hand. Let's hear it for my baby, you know you gotta understand._

Jess saw James look at her. She nodded and followed Remus out of the common room. She couldn't see him anywhere. Where would he have gone? She stood there for a moment, thinking about if she were Remus where would he go? The fat lady helped her out, "He went to the right dear. Just to let you know." Jess turned and smiled and nodded her thanks to the fat lady and took off. She ran down the corridor having no idea where she was going. Jess wasn't watching where she was going and went straight into a younger student. They fell on the floor together. Jess hit her head and shook the stars away that she was seeing.

"God, I'm so sorry." She stood and held her hand out to the boy she had knocked over. He took it.

"It's ok; I wasn't really paying attention to anyone running round corners." Jess laughed and looked at the boy. Her face dropped. He looked exactly like Sirius. Her eyes widened. The boy saw her staring and blushed. "Sorry, you're kinda staring at me." Jess shook herself out of it and smiled.

"God, no. I'm sorry. You look exactly like Sirius Black." The boy looked away from her into the distance. Jess had forgotten about Remus at that moment. Too busy staring at the boy who looked like the one she had a crush on. He nodded sharply. When he spoke his tone had changed,

"Yeah. I get told that a lot." He snapped his eyes back to hers. "I'm his brother. Regulus." He held his hand out for her to take. She shook it and smiled. When she saw he was wearing Slytherin robes she made no comment. She remembered the rumours about Sirius in her first year. He tried to smile back. He sighed and narrowed his eyes at her. "You're Jess Rhodes aren't you?" Jess nodded confused at how he knew who she was.

"Yes. I am." At the moment she remembered about Remus. She knew she looked shocked because Regulus took a step back. She saw him do this and shook her hands and her head at him. "No, I'm sorry. I'm meant to be looking for Remus Lupin. You didn't see him, did you?" Regulus nodded and turned her body and pointed to a figure sitting on a window sill staring out at the grounds. She turned back to face Regulus. "Thanks. It was nice meeting you. I hope I see you around." Regulus made no comment, just nodded and waved at her retreating body.

Jess run as fast as she could at Remus, she knew he was completely out of it. Or so she thought. She slipped just as she reached him. "AHHH!" Remus saw her and grabbed her hand. But it was too late. For the second time that evening she landed on the floor, this time Remus on top of her. He rolled off and leant over her. She caught his eye and started to laugh. Remus shook his head. But not long after Jess had started to laugh, Remus joined in. They stopped after about two minutes. They sat on the floor looking at each other. They helped each other up in silence and sat on the window sill. Jess sighed. "So, Sirius being a jerk?" Remus nodded. "Remus, whatever he said, I can't see Sirius meaning it. I mean, he's your best friend. You guys are like brothers." Remus sighed this time and looked at Jess sadly.

"He hurt my feelings Jess. He accused me of things I haven't done and called me things I had feared people would say. I know he was angry and I will forgive him eventually. But he needs to learn to control his emotions." Jess smiled and laughed.

"We are talking about the same Sirius Black right? Controlling his emotions? As if! He has never shown any emotions, except maybe lust." Remus laughed softly at that. Jess put her arm around Remus. "So what are you going to do?" Remus shrugged.

"Forgive him I guess. He didn't mean it. He looked as hurt as I did when I realised what he had said." Jess stood up annoyed.

"You're just going to forgive him?! He hurt you Remus. Really badly. You can't just forgive him! I wouldn't." Remus crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at her.

"Oh yeah? What would you do then? How would you go about all this?" Jess thought and smirked.

"I'd give him the cold shoulder for a few days. Making him come crawling back. You want him to know what he's done wrong." Remus's face lightened up and he nodded and smiled.

"Yeah! You're right. I need to make sure he knows how much he hurt me!" He stood up determined. Jess clapped her hands. "He should beg for my forgiveness." Jess jumped up and down clapping at Remus's acting.

"Let's hear it for the boy! He knows what he's going to do!" Remus laughed at the sight of Jess jumping around. Jess stopped, still smiling. "Come here." She pulled him into a hug. They stood there and hugged. Jess still knew Remus was hurting. She closed her eyes. She heard footsteps. When she reopened them Sirius stood there. "Sirius?" Remus pulled away and looked at the spot where Sirius stood. Jess felt sudden anger fill her when she saw Remus's face. It was hurt and betrayal. She glared at Sirius. Jess could figure out what was going through his head, and at the point she couldn't care less. "What the hell do you want Sirius? To yell at Remus more? To hurt him again? Because I'm not letting you get anywhere near him!" She saw anger and frustration flash through Sirius's eyes.

"I'm not here to yell at Remus. Why would I? And what business of it is yours Jess?" Remus cleared his throat.

"She's trying to help Sirius." Jess smirked at Sirius, who shook his head. His jaw set.

"No she's not. She's trying to make it all about her. That's what she's best at. Making it all about her." Jess felt like hitting him, but Remus had put a hand on her shoulder. She knew he was strong enough the keep her where she was. "I came here to say something. I came to say sorry to Remus and to say..." He stopped after staring at Jess. Jess frowned. Sirius's gaze went up to Remus's hand on her shoulder. "You know, it doesn't matter what I came to say. Because it's obvious that the feelings aren't returned. I hope you two are happy." Jess swore his voice broke at the end of his little speech. She pulled away from Remus and ran at Sirius. Her anger had turned into something else, but she wasn't sure what the emotion was. As she ran to him, tears started to flow down her cheeks. When he saw she was crying he went to touch her as she stopped but she flinched away and screamed at him,

"You're such a jerk Sirius Black! I thought maybe you had changed. But you're still the same pathetic stuck up prick you always have been. I hate you so much! All you ever do is hurt people! I can't stand it! I can't stand you! I can't stand seeing you, not now, not ever!" Her volume fell and she shook her head. The tears dripping from her chin when she spoke, "I can't stand you being in my life. Please, stay away from me." Her vision was all blurred now, she stepped back and ran. She ran past Remus, she ran out of the castle. She ran to the side of the lake and collapsed. She lay on the ground and stared at the water's edge. She thought at how close she had been to telling Sirius how she felt. She thought about how they were kinda friends now and how she had just gotten James back. She watched the water bounce against the shore. She thought about her relationship with Sirius. Was this it? Could she really not stand having him in her life? Or was that just something she had said because she had been angry? Jess didn't know. Right at that moment, she wished she was years in the future. So she didn't have to go through tomorrow. But she knew tomorrow would come. And she knew she would have to face the drama.


	19. Contagious

Hey guys. Thanks for the reviews. Next chapter. Review and smile. :) Jwebby

Anything you know from Harry Potter doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Contagious

_You're so contagious I cannot get it out of my mind; it's so outrageous you make me feel so high, all the time._

Lily watched her best friend. She knew something had happened. James had told her that Sirius had gone to talk to Jess and it had seemed as though everything would be fine. But no. Nothing seemed as though it was fine. When Sirius and Remus had come back to the common room they were talking, but in hushed tones. They had stopped when they had seen James and Lily. James had tried to get them to tell him what had happened. Jess hadn't come back till later. She had spoken only a little and went to bed early. Without another word.

Right now they were eating breakfast. Just Lily and Jess, they had gotten up early so the boys wouldn't be down till later. Jess knew Lily was watching her. And she knew Lily would want to know. Jess caught Lily's eyes. They had a million questions in them. Jess opened her mouth to speak, but found she couldn't find the right words to say. Lily blinked and her face changed. "It's ok Jess. You don't have to tell me." Jess sighed and looked away. Lily was worried. Jess always talked. At the moment she wasn't saying a word. "Are you going to eat anything?" Jess brought the spoon full of cornflakes to her mouth. But then gave up and put it back into the bowl. Lily sighed and knew she was just going to have to sit back and watch Jess destroy herself, unless she spoke to the only person Jess would ever listen to. A loud sound of laughter came from outside the great hall. Lily looked up, from the corner of her eye she could Jess staring at the bowl of cornflakes. The four marauders came running in, all laughing their heads off at something. Lily could say she wasn't impressed. She shook her head and looked at Jess. Jess was staring at the ceiling. It was cloudy outside. Lily looked back at the four boys heading their way. Still laughing. Jess hadn't even noticed their presence. As they got closer Lily started to worry even more about Jess's reaction. James sat next to Lily; Peter sat next to him while Remus and Sirius sat opposite the other two boys. Jess was still staring at the ceiling. Lily turned to James, "What did you do?!" James laughed again, the others followed him.

"Oh Lily, it was so funny. It wasn't even us. Snape slipped down the stairs into Professor Slughorn and he was carrying potions and they went all over Snape..." James fell back into laughter. Lily's face was a face of horror. James recovered to say the end of the story, "Snape turned into... he turned into... a toad." The four boys roared with laughter once more. The whole student body was staring at them, except Jess. Who stood up sharply. James, Remus and Sirius turned to look at her, their laughter died as soon as they were aware she was there. Jess didn't say anything, she didn't look at anyone. She simply picked up her bag and walked calmly out of the hall. Lily noted that she hadn't touched any of her food. Peter was the first to speak up,

"What's her problem?" The other four looked at him with different expressions. Lily's was one of annoyance and disbelief, James's was one of guilt and hurt, Remus's also had guilt in it but something else and Sirius's was unreadable. Peter shrugged. "What did I say?!" Lily shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry Peter." She went to stand, but Remus was in front of her. He smiled at Lily and walked out of the hall. Lily sat back down in shock. James put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"He knows what he's doing Lily. Let them be." He spoke the last sentence with a sharp tone. Lily was sure that wasn't for her, so she found herself stealing a glance at the person he was saying it too. But Sirius was no longer at the table. He was striding out of the hall. "I hope he knows what he's doing." Lily nodded, agreeing with the James's statement.

Jess sat in the same place she had been in last night. She stared across the lake and smiled. She laughed softly. She could just imagine Snape as a toad. It made her giggle more. She fell over laughing and hit the ground. "What's so funny?" Jess smiled at Remus, who took a seat on the patch of grass next to her.

"Nothing, just Snape as a toad?!" Remus laughed along with her. But he stopped. Jess heard him stop laughing and saw him watching her. Jess rolled her eyes. "What is it about people staring at me today? First Lily, now you. What? Do I have something on my face?" Remus smiled gently and shook his head.

"No. you have nothing on your face. It's more... after last night, I'm not quite sure what I'm meant to say or act." Jess looked once again across the lake. The giant squid was moving, making the water move faster than it had been last night. A breeze from the moving water made Jess shiver.

"I was angry last night. I'm not even sure why I said some of those things. But right now, I can't be around Sirius. It hurts too much." Remus put an arm around her.

"I know it's hard. But it'll all be alright. It'll all blow over." Jess laughed and shook her head.

"I don't want it to blow over. I want; I don't know what I want. But I know I want everything to be alright. As if that's going to happened." They both stood up. "Anyway, class always comes first." Remus smiled and together they walked up to the castle.

For the rest of the day Jess tried her best to avoid Sirius. But she always found herself in his company and she was finding it even harder to ignore him. He'd tell a joke and she's try her hardest not to laugh, but found it too difficult. She kept throwing him looks and always found his eyes on her. She wanted to talk to him or wanted him to say something to her. Little did she know Sirius was thinking the same thing. He decided to take the plunge.

At dinner Jess was watching Remus talk to James, well argue to James. She had no idea what they were saying, but it was funny just to watch them argue. James looked annoyed while Remus looked amused. Jess knew it was something to do with Quidditch that was the only thing that could get James that worked up. She laughed at the sight of James when he banged his fist on the table, when she saw Sirius come in. He walked up to them. Remus stopped arguing to say hello to Sirius. Jess smiled softly at him. He beamed at her. Jess looked away embarrassed. She stood up and waved bye to James and Remus who had picked up their conversation. Sirius watched her go, his smile falling. He was going to talk to her, but he couldn't, he was too busy smiling. He sat down at the table and took Jess's place watching, but not listening to James's and Remus's conversation.


	20. Kiss the Girl

Hey guys. Thanks for the reviews. Next chapter. Review and smile. :) Jwebby

Anything you know, I don't own.

* * *

Kiss the Girl

_My oh my looks like the boys too shy ain't gonna kiss the girl. Shalalalala ain't that sad, it's such a shame to bad, you're gonna miss the girl._

James had had enough. He slammed both his hands down on the table. "Alright, whatever! I know I'm right Remus so just shut up!" Remus burst out into hysterical laughter. James crossed his arms and turned to talk to Jess, when he saw Sirius in her place. He looked around. There weren't that many people left in the great hall. He could see Lily talking to her friend, Yasmin. But no sign of Jess.

"If you're looking for Jess, she left about the same time I arrived." Sirius said in a dull tone. James frowned. He knew that Sirius and Jess were having problems, but this was ridiculous. Remus didn't seem to be thinking the same thing. He shrugged and folded his arms on the table. Sirius noticed this but made no comment. James was surprised. Sirius saw James's face. "What?"

"The both of you. There's something you're not telling me. Remus? Sirius?" Sirius looked down at the table. Remus sighed and looked away. James narrowed his eyes. He didn't like his friends keeping secrets. "Guys? What's going on?" Remus looked at him first.

"It's not our place to tell. So just drop it James." Remus snapped at James. James put his hands in the air.

"Alright. Sorry." James felt a little hurt by this though. He knew it was something to do with Jess. He was meant to be her best friend. She was supposed to tell him everything. But that wasn't the case anymore. Sirius cleared his throat.

"James, you have a right to know. I was a jerk and Jess hates me." He summed it up. James shook his head. He had guessed that, but they weren't telling him anything new. But looking between the two he knew that was all he was getting. Remus spoke gently to Sirius.

"She doesn't hate you. It's easy to hurt her. And you hurt her. A lot." James nodded in agreement. He was also annoyed that Remus knew this. It was like everyone knew what was going on with Jess except him. "Look, I really think you should just go and say sorry."

"I can't. Every time I go and try and talk to her, I freeze up." Sirius admitted. Peter walked over and slumped next to James.

"Hey guys. God, I'm tired. Slughorn was a bore." Remus shook his head, while James smiled. "What's going on then?" Remus explained that they needed to help Sirius talk to Jess. James looked at Sirius while Remus explained.

"Why don't you just tell her? Like we said the other night?" Sirius shrugged. He wasn't sure. He wasn't really a talking person. Words weren't his forte.

"Why don't you just kiss the girl?" James and Sirius turned to see Peter sitting there with a 'duh, why didn't you think about this before?' look on his face. Sirius thought about it. James could see him agreeing.

"No Sirius. It's a very bad idea. I don't think that's what Jess will want." Remus however thought different,

"I think it might work. Even though she isn't that keen on talking to you right now." James was shocked with Remus. He would have been sure he would have been on James's side. Sirius thought back to the time Jess had kissed him.

"But, the last time we kissed, she said she didn't feel anything." James rolled his eyes.

"So did you." He said quietly, but Sirius heard him and frowned. How did James know?

"She told you?" He asked in disbelief. James nodded. Sirius sat back. "Huh." James felt a little uncomfortable. Sirius stood up. "I'm going. I'm going to kiss her." Sirius ran out of the hall. James hit his head on the table.

Sirius ran to the common room. It was full of people, but he found Jess sitting on her own staring at the fire. He cleared his throat. Jess got snapped out of her thoughts and stared at Sirius. He took a deep breath. "Hi." Jess looked uncomfortable.

"Hi." Her voice shook. Sirius knelt down next to her. She didn't move her gaze from his.

"Look, Jess there's something I need to tell you. And it's really important, so listen..." She put a finger to his lips.

"Let me go first Sirius." Sirius went to talk but Jess was quicker. "I have something I need to tell you. I've been thinking and I think the best thing for the two of use to do, is just to be friends."


	21. I'll be there for you

Hey guys, next chapter. A bit shorter than the other chapters. Thank you to all those of you who have read this so far, and to you who have reviewed. Especially a warm thanks to kt. potter93 keep reviewing, you reviews make me smile. To everyone else, please review and remember to smile. :) Jwebby.

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

I'll be there for you

_I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour, I'll be there for you, like I've been there before. I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too._

Sirius couldn't believe his ears. Jess wanted them to be friends, just friends. Nothing more. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. When he remembered Jess was standing right in front of him. She smiled at him. "Sirius, I can't handle being anything more than friends. You've got to understand?" Sirius nodded and fell into a chair. He felt lost. Hadn't she wanted to be more? Did she not have feelings for him? Did he just imagine her feelings towards him? He didn't understand. No matter what she said. Jess spoke again, "Sirius? It'll be better if we were friends. Look at all the drama we've already been through. I thought maybe if it went back to being like we were in the first few years I would feel more complete, more at home. But I don't want that. What I said the other night, I was angry. I want you in my life. But just as a friend." Sirius tried to nod. But he could only sit and stare into the fire. He thought back to the years when he had been horrid to Jess. He couldn't go back to that. He wanted to be more than friends.

"You really just want to be friends?" he asked quietly. Jess nodded. She knew this was for the best. The best for the both of them. It would stop all the heartache. And if she was just his friend she could get over him easier. Sirius sighed. "I think I could do that." He spoke mostly to himself. He looked up at Jess. She was frowning. Obviously he had spoken very quietly, so only he could have heard himself. Sirius stared into her eyes, trying to find something to show she was just acting. But the more he looked the more he regretted it. He saw hurt, grief and hope. The hope was what scared him the most. What was she hopeful for? For him to agree to just being friends? Or maybe she was hopeful for him to say, 'screw that, I love you!'? He didn't know. He couldn't tell. Sirius knew James would know. Thinking that stung a little. Maybe being friends would be for the best, they could become closer and perhaps something could happen. If he didn't agree and Jess didn't have feelings for him, then she might never talk to him again and they would be awkward and Sirius didn't want to lose her. He placed his head in his hands. This was too hard. How was he meant to tell her how he felt when she just wanted to be friends? "Do you only see me as a friend then Jess?" Jess hadn't been expecting that. She sighed. She had to say yes. No matter what she wanted, it was for the greater good.

"Yes I do. I only see you as a friend Sirius." Sirius sighed and took a deep breath. He looked up her. She was staring at him. "I'm not sorry for wanting to be your friend Sirius. I really do want you in my life. I actually think you're a decent guy. Well, when you put your mind to it." Sirius laughed softly. "Being your friend is all I want. It's all I need." Jess was amazed when he nodded. He was actually buying this? He really thought she just wanted to be friends? He was a right fool. But she didn't care. This meant she and Sirius could form some type of relationship. Sirius was looking right through her again. "Thank you." she whispered to him. Sirius nodded and stood. She smiled and took his hand. "Now we're friends, we can hang out sometimes right?" Sirius sat back down with a grin.

"Oh, hell yeah! We're going to have so much fun!" Jess laughed. She had doubted this, but somehow in the back of her mind, there was hope for the two of them. "We're going to be so close James won't even be able to step in-between us." Jess smiled at that, forgetting about James.

"Yeah, he'll be blown away when he sees as both." Sirius's smiled twitched for a second, before returning a little fake this time. "Sirius, you know, whatever happens from now on, I'll be there for you, no matter what, and you know that right?" Sirius saw how serious she was being. He nodded.

"Right back at you. No matter what." He squeezed her hand. If they were going to be friends, why did they both feel a spark coming from their joined hands?


	22. I Won't Say I'm In Love

Hey guys, here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming. :D Also thanks to all you who just read and favourite my story, you all make me smile. So review and smile. :) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

I won't say I'm in love

_No chance, no way I won't say it no no! You swoon, you sigh why deny it at all? It's too cliché I won't say I'm in lov_e.

Jess laughed at the two boys. It had been a week since her and Sirius had decided to just be friends. And she was finding it surprisingly easy. She found herself happier then she had been in a while. She knew there were still feelings for Sirius, but she hardly thought about them. She knew if she did think about them, it would hurt. And she was done hurting, for the moment.

She caught the gaze of Remus, who was sitting reading a book. He was smiling from behind it. She smiled back. Sirius and James cracked up once again. Remus's and Jess's eyes turned to them. They were rolling around on the floor. Jess shook her head and rolled her eyes. The two of them were mad. Half the time they went off into their own little world. Jess thought about when James and her used to do that. They used to pretend to be pirates, superheroes, ninjas etc. They never used to care. How things had changed. She remembered when she thought boys were yucky and how she said she was never going to marry and how she was going to go around the world with James and they would save the world from evil. James had joked she'd get caught and he would of had to rescue her while saving the world at the same time. Jess had always argued it would have been the other way round cause boys were stupid. She smiled to herself when she thought back to those games. Sirius saw her smile and stared at her. He thought it strange how she went off in to her own little world, but she always got a cute look on her face. Remus saw Sirius staring and looked at Jess himself. She was gazing intensely into the flames of the common room fire. James said something else to Sirius, who didn't hear, just nodded. Remus saw James frowned and look up at Jess as well. Remus exchanged a look with James who rolled his eyes. Then he smirked. Remus shook his head in disapproval, James had that look in his eyes and Remus didn't want to get involved, so he went back to his book. The next thing he heard was a scream. He looked up from his book to see Jess in Sirius's arms on the floor.

Sirius had seen what James was doing at the last moment and put his hands out to grab Jess. When she landed in his arms, he felt how skinny she actually was. She placed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. Her eyes slowly met his. She stared into them. She felt herself sinking. They were dark and amazing. She found she couldn't look away. She wanted to look into them forever and ever and never stop.

Remus saw the two of them and froze. This couldn't end well. James looked a little awkward. Remus thought he should. It was his fault. Sirius went to touch Jess's face, but they all heard a frustrated yell from behind them which made them both look away and up in the annoyed face of Lily Evans. She was glaring at the four of them. Yasmin stood a few steps behind her. Lily shook her head. "Jess, a word. Now." Without waiting for a reply from Jess, Lily spun on her heel and stormed up the stairs. Yasmin smiled, shrugged then followed her. Jess got up from Sirius's arms and shrugged. He smiled, disappointed.

"I'd better go, before Lily eats me." Jess said, making James nod. Sirius stood up from the floor and grinned,

"No worries, we'll save you from the evil Evans monster." He ran at Jess and picked her up. "Oh no, she's going to eat you Jess." Jess screamed as he threw her over his shoulder. James fell over in laughter, Remus smiled widely. Jess screamed and hit Sirius on the back,

"Put me down you twat! Put me the frick down! Ahhh!" She kept hitting him until he placed her smoothly on the first step of the girl's staircase. He smiled and saluted her.

"You're welcome madam." He grinned at her expression. She was glaring at him. Sirius felt himself blushing at her glare and simply turned and yelled back behind him at Jess, "Lily wants you Jess. Better go before she has a breakdown!" Jess smiled as she turned and skipped up the staircase. She entered their dormitory and saw Lily and Yasmin sitting on Lily's bed. She smiled guiltily at the pair.

"What have I done now?" Lily stood and pointed at Jess's bed.

"Sit." Jess didn't stop to think she sat straight down. Even thought Lily was her best friend, Jess couldn't help but be a little frightened of her. Lily looked at Yasmin who sighed and stood next to her. Lily turned to Jess, "Look, we've noticed you and Sirius have become closer." Jess shrugged. Why were the two of them so bothered? "We're concerned." Yasmin nodded. Jess rolled her eyes.

"Why? What do you think is going on?" Jess frowned.

"Nothing, that's the problem, Jess, we know you have deep feelings for Sirius. What do you think you're doing being friends with him?" Jess felt herself getting angry.

"Deep feeling? I have no deep feelings for Sirius." Lily laughed harshly.

"Don't give me that kind of shit Jess. We all know you're in love with Sirius, why don't you just admit it?" Jess stood up.

"I won't say I'm in love, because I'm not. I've told myself so many times, I'm not in love with Sirius. I'm not in love..." Jess sat back down. She couldn't deny it anymore. She had spent all week saying that to herself. "Ok, I do have feelings for him. But the only reason I'm being his friend, is because it's easier this way. It means no one gets hurt." Yasmin sat next to her and put her arm around Jess.

"Except you." Yasmin put in. Jess looked at her. She knew Yasmin would say something like that. Yasmin was always quiet but she wasn't afraid to point out the obvious when no one else wanted to. Lily sat down on the other side of Jess.

"Jess, what are you going to do?" Jess shrugged, but in fact she knew what she was going to do. She stood up.

"I'm going to keep doing what I already am. Being his friend. I think it's for the best. I'd rather be his friend then it be awkward. It feels like I've had this conversation a million times. So guys don't worry about me so much. You know me, I go with the flow. And this is how I'm going to flow." She smiled and waved goodbye and walked out. Lily put her head in her hands. Yasmin stared at the door which Jess had just left through. She sighed and said,

"She's going to get hurt isn't she?" Lily didn't know what to say to that, but she was sure the answer was yes.


	23. One Day I'll Fly Away

Hey guys, here's the next chapter. Thank you to all you who have reviewed, more are very welcome. Thanks for reading and keeping with me. Review and smile :) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

One Day I'll Fly Away

_One day I'll fly away, live all this to yesterday. Why live life from dream to dream? And dread the day, when dreaming dies._

It was the Thursday before the last Hogsmeade trip before the holidays. Jess wasn't sure whether she was meant to be going with the marauders or with Lily and Yasmin. At the moment she was trying to concentrate on just getting to the holidays. Then she could go home and relax. Forgetting about everything and just being Jess. She sighed and dropped her quill. She just couldn't write anymore. She was trying to finish a Transfiguration essay, but she had already written two scrolls worth and it wasn't due in until next week. She had been looking for something to do. It wasn't late, but there weren't many people in the common room. Lily was off with James; Lily had said that they were just 'talking' about stuff. Bullshit was Jess's reply to that. Yasmin was off tutoring some first years. Peter was god knows where, Sirius was probably with him and Remus... well Remus had just walked in. When he noticed Jess he directed himself to the chairs by the fire. He sat, "You always seem to get these chairs, how do you do that without being with Sirius or James?" Jess shrugged. When she had arrived some second years had been playing exploding snap, but when they saw her they just packed up and left.

"I guess people just let me sit down because it's always where I am." Jess smiled, and then it turned to a concerned smile. Remus looked very drawn and tired. "How you doing Remus?" Remus smiled.

"I'm fine. I guess I just look like death. The full moon was two nights ago. I'm meant to stay in the hospital wing for at least two days, but I never do. I try at least to keep it to one day, unless I'm really hurt." Jess winced. She remembered visiting Remus yesterday. He had asked her to get him the homework because he didn't trust James and Sirius. Remus shook his head. "I'm used to it. Honestly." Jess nodded. She wasn't used to seeing him like this.

"So, do you know where Sirius is?" Remus nodded and rolled his eyes.

"Yep. I saw him with a Ravenclaw girl. Looked like a fifth year. God it's like he can't keep his hands to himself." Jess laughed and nodded.

"Yeah. He is such a player." Remus frowned. He had been sure Jess still had feelings for Sirius. But recently, he was becoming unsure about the two of them. He looked into Jess's face, there was laughter there, but in her eyes he saw anger and regret. He sighed, Jess turned to look at him. "Remus?" Remus suddenly had a thought.

"Jess, are you going with anyone to Hogsmeade on Saturday?" Jess shook her head, questionably. "Well, we haven't really hung out just the two of us before and I thought maybe we could go together, as friends and I know this perfect place where we could just go and scream." Jess's smile brightened and this time it reached her eyes.

"I'd like that. And beside it would stop me choosing sides between James and Sirius and Lily and Yasmin." Remus laughed. Just then Sirius walked into the common room with a huge smile on his face. He jumped onto the same chair as Remus and messed up his hair.

"Hey guys, you'll have to find someone else to go to Hogsmeade with Jess, I've got a date." He said this with caution, but Jess simply smiled at Remus.

"Oh that's ok Sirius; I'm already going with someone." Remus knew what she was doing and shook his head. Sirius's face was covered in confusion and something else, hurt? Betrayal? Anger? Or was it disappointment that he hadn't asked her first?

"Who is it? Which jackass thinks he can take you to Hogsmeade without informing me first?" Jess raised her eyebrows. "Well? Who is the scumbag?" Remus cleared his throat and chuckled.

"I didn't know you thought I was a scumbag Sirius?" Sirius turned very violently on the chair to look at Remus he fell on the floor in shock, James and Lily were walking in at this point and James laughed very loudly when he saw this. James ran over, Lily following him slower. James stood there and laughed, along with Remus and Jess.

"Calm down Padfoot, it can' be that bad. Can it?" He asked Jess. Sirius was still looking at Jess and Remus in shook. James placed a hand on Sirius's shoulder a little worried. "Sirius, mate what the hell happened?" Sirius pointed at Jess, then at Remus.

"Them, Hogsmeade, together! They're going to Hogsmeade together!" Sirius stood up at that, making James jump. Jess and Remus burst into laughter once more when they saw James's face. He was staring at them in fury.

"What? Jess I thought that..." Remus saved Jess from what James was about to say,

"As friends! Nothing more! We just thought that Sirius would have a date and you would be off with Lily." James stood there for a moment and shook his head. Sirius was fuming. He couldn't believe Remus. Even though them going as a date was only a joke, he was still taking her. How could he do this to him?

Hogsmeade came round and Jess met Remus at the gates and smiled. She was wearing a long red coat and black boots. Her hair was down with a black hat covering the top of hair and her ears. Remus smiled back. "Come on you." Jess knew today was going to be good.

They walked down the high street, and then turned down an alley Jess had never gone down before. "Remus, are you sure you know where you're going?" Remus turned to look at Jess and held out his hand.

"Do you trust me?" Jess looked at his hand and then to his eyes. She nodded and took his hand. He led her out of Hogsmeade to a small wood. She didn't let go of his hand as he led her through the undergrowth. It was very dense in the wood, Jess felt as if she couldn't see anything. Then he stopped and turned to grin at her. She squeezed his hand to say she trusted him, as she felt if she talked it would break the mood. Remus pulled away the branches in front of him to show her a clearing. It wasn't anything special, but it felt safe. Jess let go of Remus's hand and walked into the clearing. She span round. Remus laughed at the sight of her. Jess ran back to him.

"How did you know about this place?" Remus shrugged and walked into the clearing himself.

"It was when I was a wolf, sometime last year. I woke up here. James and Sirius helped me back. I just remembered it. I'm guessing you like?" Jess nodded.

"Yeah, doubt I'll ever find it again." Remus laughed. Jess threw her arms out and screamed. Remus laughed. Jess screamed and spun round until she fell onto the floor in laughter. Remus ran to her and saw her laughing.

They sat still for a moment. Jess was on her back staring up into the grey sky. The clouds were hardly moving. "Remus, have you ever thought about the future?" Remus sat up on his elbows and looked into Jess's eyes. She caught his stare. He shrugged.

"Every now and then I guess. For me it never really looks that good. I'm a werewolf, no one ever employs werewolves." Jess felt suddenly guilty for him. Remus saw this and smiled. "That's why I live for today. What's the point on dwelling on tomorrow? Or yesterday?" Jess thought about this. How could she not think about the past or future? She had always found herself thinking about it.

"You're right. But I always end up thinking about what could happen. I can't help it. I don't want to. Most of the time when I'm thinking about what I really want to do, all I can think about is flying away." Remus turned onto his front and frowned. "That's all I really want to do. Right now, all I wish I can do is jump up and fly somewhere, anywhere." Remus hadn't known this was how she had felt.

"How long have you felt like this?" Jess sighed.

"Since first year. I've never really felt as though I've ever wanted to be here. Hogwarts is amazing; I've had so many good times here. But I just want out. I want to be able to control my life. And when I'm in Hogwarts, I feel as if I have to be someone I'm not. Believe it or not at home I'm completely different. I'm calm, I act like a person. I don't get all wrapped up in other people's problems, or my own." Remus sat close to her and pulled her into a hug.

"I know. I have to hide from the world as well." Jess breathed out. She knew Remus would understand.

"I have dreams where I fly. In my dreams I'm happy. I never remember them; I just get this feeling when I've woken up that they were happy. So I say when I'm happy after a dream it's because I've flown." Remus kept her close and nodded. "Remus, one day I'm going to fly far away from here and start a new life. You can come as well. We'll go together." Remus pushed away and saw Jess had tears in her eyes.

"Jess, I can't run. That's not who I am. When I do see my future I see myself fighting for what I want. You should run either. No matter what, you should never run. Face it." Jess rubbed her tears away with her gloved hand. She hadn't felt how cold she was until then. But she tried not to shiver. She wanted to stay in that clearing as long as she could. They went back to sitting in silence.

Jess closed her eyes. She was about to go back into her thoughts when she felt something cold and wet on her face. She opened her eyes and saw it was starting to snow. She sat up and smiled. Remus was on his feet and spinning around like Jess had been. She stood up laughed and started to spin as well. The snow fell around them, getting heavier. But neither of them cared.

They fell once again into the snow. Remus couldn't see anything because the world was spinning. The snow was starting to settle. Jess closed her eyes for a few moments then sat up. "We should get back to Hogsmeade, if we don't we'll probably get lost." Remus nodded, together they stood. Remus took Jess's hand once again and led her out. Jess looked around; the world looked beautiful with snow falling on the snow that had already fallen. She looked up at the grey sky through the trees. She felt Remus pulling her along, back to the place where she needed to be, not where she wanted to be. She made a promise there to herself; she would find a way to get away. And she would. One day she would fly away.


	24. Everything I'm Not

Hey guys, new chapter and this one is longer than the rest because the next few shouldn't be as long. Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming please. Review and smile. :) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Everything I'm not

_But now I see, I don't want to pretend. So this end of you and me, cause the girl that you want. She was tearing us apart. Cause she's everything, everything I'm not._

Jess walked head held high onto the Hogwarts express. She smiled and said hello to a few Ravenclaws. Over the holidays her hair had grown longer and she had re-dyed it. It was now a very light blonde. Her black coat reached her knees, the rest of her legs were covered by long pink high heeled boots and she had pink sunglasses on. Her trunk was bright pink with her initials 'JR' written in gold on the side. Her heels clicked against the floor as she walked down the train. She saw Lily sitting in a compartment reading a book; Yasmin sat opposite texting someone on a phone. Jess smiled. She opened the compartment, making sure not to break her fake nails and grinned her pearly whites at the girls. "Hey bitches, what's going on?" Lily looked up from her book and her jaw dropped.

"Wow, Jess, what did you do?" Jess frowned and pulled off her sunglasses.

"What do you mean?" Yasmin put her phone down and spoke for Lily,

"You look like a Hollywood girl instead of plain old Jess. I think you look good." Jess smiled and sat next to Yasmin who giggled. "Just wait till everyone else sees you. I mean, you don't look that much different, but it'll still be a shock." Jess crossed her legs. Lily gasped.

"Oh my god! I love your boots." Jess and Yasmin laughed knowing that Lily would crack. The compartment door swung open and Remus and James walked into the compartment. James smiled at Lily and Yasmin then laughed at Jess. Jess flipped her hair behind her shoulder and frowned. Remus smiled and sat next to her. "Hey girls, how were your holidays?" Jess turned him.

"Fabulous thanks Remus and yours?" Remus shrugged and pointed to the scar on his forehead. Jess reached forward and touched it. It was fresh. "How long ago was, you know?" Remus put up three fingers. Jess pulled him in for hug; they heard laughing to the side of them. Jess pulled away keeping an arm around Remus and frowned at James. "What do you find so funny?" James stopped laughing just smiled widely.

"You. You're acting really weird and you look like a model." Jess smiled liking this reaction. Remus nodded in agreement.

"Yeah Jess, nice hair." Jess laughed and was about to thank them when the compartment door opened to Sirius standing there with a goofy smile on his face. Jess closed her mouth and sat back, arm still round Remus.

"Hi guys, good holidays? I bet you're all glad to see me!" He pulled his trunk in and sat down and saw Jess who narrowed her eyes.

"My holiday was great thanks Sirius and I bet I'm not as excited to see as the girl you exchanged salvia with out there was." Sirius glared at Jess who smiled and started talking to Remus. He hadn't missed the arm around Remus that Jess had.

"God, you don't have to be such a bitch Jess." Jess's head turned very slowly, while Lily gasped. It seemed the whole compartment was waiting for Jess's reaction. Instead she simply rolled her eyes and stood up.

"I'll be back." Sirius breathed out, thinking he had annoyed her stood and took her arm as she opened the compartment door.

"I didn't mean it, I just..." Jess turned and smiled at Sirius.

"Yeah I know. I need to go to the loo. Unless you want to come with me?" Sirius shook his head and sat back down. Once Jess had gone Sirius turned to the others in the compartment and told them something which made all their eyes widen in shock, "I've got a girlfriend and she's amazing and I think it's really going to work." James was the first to recover. He knew Sirius was in fact serious about this because he didn't have that horrid 'player' smile on his face he normally did when he talked about the girls he went out with. James shook his head.

"I would never have guessed it mate. But if she makes you happy, then go for it." Sirius smiled knowing James would take his side. Lily simply shrugged and said nothing on the subject. Sirius knew she wasn't happy, because normally she would have said something. Remus nodded and smiled.

"I agree with James, if you're happy then I'm happy." Sirius was happier that he knew Remus was alright with it all. A voice came from the corner he hadn't expected to have said anything asked the question he had expected from James or Remus,

"What about Jess?" Every eye was on Yasmin who still had her phone out and still texting asked another question, "Aren't you going to tell her? I mean it's obvious that both of you have feelings for each other, why isn't she hearing this as well?" she pressed the send button and turned her gaze to Sirius, "I think she has more rights to know about your little girlfriend then we do." Sirius had never really paid any attention to Yasmin before, but she knew what she was talking about. Suddenly the compartment door opened, everyone turned expecting to see Jess, instead saw another girl. Sirius smiled at the sight. Yasmin rolled her eyes and went back to her phone, she didn't want to get involved, but if Sirius wouldn't tell Jess then she needed to have words with him. Yasmin had never been intimidated by the marauders before; she thought they were good guys, just a bit silly. Now that Lily and Jess were their friends Yasmin was going to make them see what she felt, and right now she wanted nothing to do with this girl.

"Hey you." The girl smiled shyly and went over to Sirius she sat next to him. She went bright red when Sirius kissed her cheek. She caught Remus's eye.

"Hello Remus." Remus smiled and waved. He knew who she was. Sirius cleared his throat and introduced his new girlfriend.

"Guys, this is Karen Line. Karen meet Remus, who you seem to know, James, Lily and that's Yasmin." James smiled and said a polite hello, to be honest he was a little surprised that Karen was Sirius's new girl, Lily politely smiled over her book and waved and Yasmin made no sign of greeting at all. This confused Sirius, why would Yasmin care? Karen nodded,

"I know who you all are. Me and Remus used to sit next to each other in Ancient Runes last year. I know James and Lily of course, and I know Yasmin." Yasmin didn't make any movement; it was as if Karen had said nothing. Sirius frowned, he didn't understand.

Jess laughed at Dave's joke. He had offered to walk her to her compartment and she had agreed. He didn't seem like a bad guy to her, no matter what James said. They reached it and Dave turned to Jess, "So I was thinking, maybe sometime we could go to Hogsmeade together?" Jess smiled and nodded.

"Sure. I'll see you around Dave." He waved and she opened the compartment door shaking her head, walking into the compartment saying to herself, "I hardly doubt I will though, creep." She felt the atmosphere in the compartment had changed since she had left. Looking to her left she saw another person who hadn't been there before. She holding Sirius's arm. Jess raised her eyebrows. This girl had her brown hair up in a neat ponytail, she wore thick rounded rimmed glasses, that didn't suit her at all, she was already in her Hogwarts robes, and (even though they didn't have to get changed till they were in the castle) her shoes were polished so much you could see your reflection in them. Jess stared at her in disbelief. The girl must have felt a pair of eyes on her because she looked up and met her gaze. The girl turned red and muttered something to Sirius. Sirius turned and his eyes widened at the sight of Jess. Yasmin was the one who rolled her eyes and waved for Jess to come sit next to her. Jess pointed at the new and mouthed, "Who's that?" at Yasmin. Yasmin smiled and said very loud and clearly,

"That is Sirius's new girlfriend. According to him she's perfect for him." Jess sat and turned to the pair. Sirius was glaring at Yasmin, he hadn't said that. Jess nodded looking for a confirmation from someone. James nodded sadly.

"Girlfriend? Really? Wow, that's great. Hi, I'm Jess Rhodes, sorry I didn't catch your name?" Jess held her hand out for this girl to shake; the girl took it nervously and spoke with a soft voice,

"I'm Karen Line; it's nice to meet you. I've always wanted to say hi to you. I mean, you're so brave to change like you did over the summer. I think you're very glamorous." Jess felt like laughing, she was like a little fan girl.

"I know right." That's all Jess said before turned to Yasmin and the two spent the rest of the journey ignoring Sirius and Karen.

Once they were back in their dormitory Jess and Yasmin both breathed out very loudly and flopped onto their beds. Lily followed and sighed as well. Jess started to laugh. Yasmin and Lily followed after her. Nancy walked in saw the three girls laughing and rolled her eyes, "Could you guys be any bigger freaks?" Jess laughed even harder and said,

"Yeah, we could Karen." Lily fell onto her bed laughing. Nancy narrowed her eyes,

"Who is Karen?" Yasmin sat up and answered,

"Sirius's new girlfriend. You'd hate her." Nancy smiled. It was the first time she had found something as funny as the other's in her room had.

"Wait, you're telling me that Sirius Black? As in Sirius Black, the fucking sex god is going out with the boring drip that is Karen Line?" Jess nodded and found her vision clouded by her own tears. Nancy burst out into laughter and she too fell onto her bed.

The four girls spent the rest of the night laughing and talking, Nancy was actually acting like a human being. They were laughing mostly over Sirius and his new girl. After about eleven they decided to call it a night. Jess found she couldn't sleep. She walked down to the common room and saw James sitting in one of the arm chairs. "Hey." James turned and smiled at her.

"Hey Jess." She made her way round to the sofa; James was staring at the fire. Jess frowned.

"Knut for your thoughts." James looked up at her and smiled.

"You shouldn't waster perfectly good money on me." Jess couldn't help smiling back. "What is it with Sirius?" Jess frowned, confused by James's question. "He would never go out with a girl like Karen unless he had a really good reason for it." Jess looked into the fire herself. She knew why.

"The good reason is me." James turned to her in surprise. "I'm the good reason why Sirius chose Karen. Look at us. She's everything I'm not. The complete opposite. Sirius hasn't noticed, but I have. Haven't you?" James thought about it and nodded. Jess was right, Karen was everything Jess wasn't. She was neat, she was quiet, she cared about what people thought about her and she wouldn't hurt a fly. James shook his head and suddenly said,

"But she's so boring." Jess laughed gently. "I mean what was that all about when we were talking about going swimming in the lake this summer; she went on about how it wasn't good for us and how we might damage the giant squid." Jess laughed at the memory of how Karen took it all so seriously. "How could Sirius chose someone with no sense of humour?" Jess shrugged.

"I don't know, but he seems happy." James watched Jess's smiled disappear. He took her hand. Jess saw his concerned look, "I'm fine James. I still have feelings for him. I can't help it. And I thought I had chance and now he's going out with Karen, I don't anymore." James shook his head.

"No, you have a better chance now. I mean, how long is this going to last? He still likes you; he's just too blind to see that." Jess shrugged and looked into the fire once more.

"I guess so. And I'm not going to give up. I've wanted to tell Sirius how I feel about him for a while now and some stupid girl he thinks he likes isn't going to stop me. Nothing can." Jess stood up determinedly. But she knew the only thing that would stop her would either be herself or if Sirius really did care about Karen and said something to make her change her mind.


	25. Don't Dream It's Over

Hey guys, next chapter here. Hope you like. Review and smile. :) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Don't Dream it's Over

_Hey now, hey now don't dream it's over. Hey now, hey now when the world comes in. They come; they come to build a wall between us. We know they won't win._

Jess looked at James who gagged into his breakfast, Jess hid a giggle. Remus rolled his eyes but smiled, Lily did the same. Yasmin shook her head and went back to her book. Nancy walked past, pausing to clear her and throat and speaking very loudly, "Oh my god, people are trying to eat in here, they'll all be sick if everyone has to watch that." James snorted into his breakfast, Jess burst into giggles. Remus laughed softly and Lily's smile grew, Yasmin laugh became louder by the second. The people whom Nancy had been talking about pulled apart and stared at everyone. Karen blushed bright red. She and Sirius had just been making out in front of everyone; she didn't like having every eye in the room on her. Sirius on the other hand glared at Nancy who had already walked off. Not before winking at Jess, Lily and Yasmin. He frowned at James and Remus who were still laughing, now more openly. Yasmin was hiding behind her book, but it was shaking because she was laughing so much. Lily had her head on the table in laughter. Sirius turned his gaze to Jess, who wasn't laughing anymore. She was staring at the pair; Sirius wasn't sure what to think of her stare. When she realised that Sirius was looking back she smiled. James saw this and shook his head. Things were not going to end up good. Karen also saw this and pulled Sirius's head back to hers. Jess made a disgusted face and turned away. Remus's smile had faded when he saw this. Jess stood up and walked out. Sirius saw this and pulled away from Karen who rolled her eyes.

For the rest of the day Jess kept on trying to avoid the public displays of affection coming from Sirius and Karen. It was just after dinnertime and Jess was walking to the common room by herself when she heard someone call her name, "Jess!" She turned and saw Sirius running towards her. She smiled shyly. It was time, she knew it. She breathed in and stopped so Sirius could catch up.

"Hey. Why aren't you with Karen?" She said Karen's name with a little poison in her voice. Sirius didn't miss that. He frowned, but Jess kept smiling. Sirius didn't like that smile.

"She's off with her friends, they're doing homework together. Not my scene really." Jess nodded and started to walk again. Sirius was confused. Something was wrong, he had to know. "What's wrong Jess? And don't tell me it's nothing because something has been bothering since we got back which was nearly a week ago." Jess sighed and turned to him.

"You really want to know?" Sirius nodded. Jess nodded, "Fine. I don't like Karen." Sirius's mouth dropped in shock. "I said it. She is so not right for you. I mean you and her are completely different. Why did you even choose her? I mean she's pathetic!" Sirius started to get angry.

"Pathetic! You're the one who's pathetic Jess! Is this your way of telling me you don't like Karen or that you like me?! Because there's no chance of anything ever happening between us, so don't dream it's over!" Jess stepped forward, she was about to say something when Sirius showed her how he wasn't finished, "There is no way in hell that I would ever like a tramp like you. I mean look at you! At least when I used to pick on you, you had some decency. Now you're just a blonde bitch who can't get what she wants so she's taking it out on the world! This has nothing to do with Karen or me really. It's just your way of getting some attention. Everyone has to be paying attention to poor little Jess. Get over yourself! Stop trying to be the fucking queen bee because you're not! In fact you're still the pathetic pain in the ass you have been since first year. I don't know what I ever saw in you, you really are just a plastic fucking Barbie doll who isn't worth anything. So you know what, back the fuck off and leave me, Karen my girlfriend, James my best friend and Remus my other best friend alone. Because you'll just fuck them about like you have everything else." Jess stepped back, tears rolling freely down her face. She felt broken inside.

"Why are you saying this?" She croaked out, Sirius rolled his eyes at her.

"There you go again, being all drama queen. No one believes your act. I did, but now I see you for what you are and James and Remus they'll see as well. They'll see how much you hurt people. James never wanted you, so you moved on to me, I didn't want you so who's it going to be next? Remus? You'll never get anyone Jess, because you're nothing to anyone. No one cares about your problems. So do me a favour and get out of my face!" Sirius yelled the last thing in Jess's face before spinning on his heel and walking off, leaving Jess to break down in the corridor.


	26. Torn

Hey guys, here's the next chapter. It's not that long sorry. Reviews make me smile so press the button and let me see what you think. Thanks review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Torn

_Illusion never changed into something real, I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn, you're a little late, I'm already torn._

Jess lay on her bed. She couldn't remember how she'd gotten from the corridor to her bed, but she must have moved. She was aching everywhere. Nothing seemed right. Everything Sirius had said went straight through her head. She kept repeating it, over and over again. Every time it made her cry. She wanted to disappear. Why couldn't she just fly away? She shut her eyes and saw Sirius's face. He was smiling at her, she smiled then it changed. He was angry, yelling, yelling those horrid words at her in spite, she snapped open her eyes. Lily and Yasmin were standing there. She sat up and burst into tears once more. Lily ran to her and caught her in her arms. She held her while Yasmin walked over and asked, "What did Black do now?" Jess caught Yasmin's gaze, she was beyond angry. Jess shook her head,

"It doesn't matter Yas, let it go." Yasmin sat down next to Jess and hugged her. Lily rubbed Jess's back,

"You've been through too much. You don't deserve him. Any boy who makes you cry isn't worth it." Jess shook her head and whispered,

"I don't know. The things he said, they were so true. I changed, but the reason I changed isn't there anymore. I was happier last year when no one knew who I was, when Sirius would talk to me, but not like he didn't care. He was mean, but not spiteful. James was always there for me, now he'd take Sirius's side, because I'm nothing to him anymore." Yasmin couldn't believe her ears.

"Jess, you can't give up. There's no way James would take Sirius's side. What has that prick said to you to make you think that?" Jess looked at her; Yasmin saw all the hurt and the angst in her eyes.

"He opened my eyes. He made me see. I'm nothing to anyone. As if people actually care. I'm a fool." Lily pulled away from her and looked at her with sorry eyes. Jess smiled faintly, "I'm a fool to have thought that he would have cared. That he would have left Karen and ran to me. There were never any feelings there were there? I was just dreaming, what's the use in dreaming? You just get hurt. I don't want to hurt anymore. It's all just too hard. I'm already torn." Jess fell back and shut her eyes. She didn't want to feel this. She didn't want to be her at that moment. Yasmin could see how broken her friend was and felt all the anger and annoyance that Jess should be feeling and knew someone had to do something.

"Right, I'm going to go talk to that bastard." Jess sat up so fast her head span,

"No, you can't!" Lily took Jess's hand and nodded, she agreed with Yasmin, someone needed to talk to Sirius. She wished it could have been her, but Lily knew Yasmin had to do this.

"Jess, let Yasmin do this. I think someone needs to. If not Sirius would think he has won." Yasmin nodded and smiled thanks at Lily.

"Fine. Do what you want." Jess fell back once again and sighed. Lily nodded to Yasmin who was out the door in the next second not wanting to waste any of her anger. Lily laid back next to Jess. She had seen Jess sigh and wanted to know what Jess wanted to do, so she asked her.

"What are you going to do?" Jess stared at the ceiling. She thought about all the words that Sirius had said and thought about what she had said to Yasmin and Lily not moments ago.

"I'm going back to who I was. The meaning of my change has gone now. I'd rather be who I was last year. So that's who I'm going to be. I'm going to Jessica Rhodes, who I'm meant to be. Not some wannabe." Lily sat up and turned to look at Jess.

"Do you want some help with that?" Jess sat up as well, smiled a small smile and nodded. Lily stood and helped Jess stand up, "Then let's get started. First let us get you looking like the old Jess we all know and love." Jess laughed quietly then thought.

"I get to keep my new clothes though." Lily laughed and the two walked off into the bathroom to start making Jess feel more like the Jess she needed to be.


	27. My Hero Is You

Hey guys, next chapter here. Hope you like. Thanks for reading; I'd love to hear what you have to say about the story. Thanks to everyone who have read and reviewed this story so far, more to come. Lots more to come! So review to tell me what your thoughts are, thank you. Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

My Hero Is You

_There's a strength, and a mind and a power in me, oh believe me there ain't nothing I can't do. My hero is you. _

Yasmin stormed down the stairs into the common room where Sirius sat with Remus, James and Peter laughing at some joke one of them had told. James saw her first and waved, she hardly noticed. James's hand fell when she came racing up to them in fury. They all stood except Peter who was still laughing, not noticing Yasmin until she slapped Sirius round the face. It was a powerful slap because everything stopped in the common room, it went silent. Every eye turned to Yasmin and Sirius. Sirius's cheek was already turning red. He put and hand to it and stared at Yasmin, a girl he had come to like because she was quiet and rarely spoke. She raised her hand and slapped him again. James found himself unable to stop her hitting Sirius for the second time because he was still in shock from the first. "You bastard!" Yasmin yelled. "How could you do that to Jess? All you think about are your own feelings Black and you know what? I'm fed up with it! Why can't you think before you open that oddly large mouth?! You think everyone loves you because you're Sirius Black! The boy who thinks he's god's gift to women! The boy who keeps the name Black even though he's in Gryffindor, though in my opinion should be in Slytherin because he acts just like the rest of his family! Stuck up good for nothing purebloods that can't stand anyone who are different! And are incapable of showing any emotion except disgust and lust!" Sirius stood there holding his cheeks unable to say anything, the poison in Yasmin's voice had him frozen to the ground. "And honestly telling Jess that she is nothing?! What the fuck is that supposed to accomplish exactly?! Telling her that James and Remus are only there until they see who she really is?! Who that hell do you think you are?! You need to grow up and see the world for what it really is Black! And now you've shown your true colours no one is going to buy the act you put on about being a Gryffindor when in fact you're really the stupid spoilt Slytherin kid that we all thought you were to begin with." With that Yasmin breathed out and kicked him in the shin, Sirius fell to the ground and looked back at her. Yasmin had tears in her eyes and glaring at him. She stood there for a moment then realised what she had done and a shocked look on her face. She stepped back and mouthed, "Sirius, I..." Without finishing she shrugged and walked back up the stairs and out of sight.

The common room was silent for a minute or two when Remus cleared his throat. "Okay guys; go back to whatever you were doing, this is going to hurt a lot more without you lot staring at Sirius." Everyone slowly turned away. James was staring at Sirius in disbelief. Sirius stood up and nodded his head towards the portrait hole. All four marauders made their way out of the common room. As soon as the portrait shut James turned to Sirius.

"Tell me what Yasmin said isn't true!" James said it as a plead. Sirius couldn't meet James's eye. James gasped. Remus shook his head. James couldn't believe it. "Why? What did Jessie do that was so bad you had to make up shit and make her feel even worse then she already does?" Sirius shrugged feeling incredibly guilty. Remus saw this.

"James, I was a jerk to her." James shook his head.

"Don't defend yourself. I know she was telling you how she felt. She told me you know. She was trying to be your friend, but maybe her feelings took over." Sirius couldn't believe his ears.

"She didn't just say that! She told me she hated Karen and the only reason I was dating Karen was because of her! She was being a bitch towards my girlfriend. Telling me that me and Karen make a ridiculous couple." James looked around then back at Sirius and nodded.

"Yeah, well she's not the only one. I think all that as well. You and Karen are so not made for each other and don't you dare tell me that you're in love with her! Because that's bull! You're just being stupid Sirius. As if you feel anything for Karen! You like Jess; you're just too blind to see that! But you had no right to yell at her and tell her things that aren't even true. So I'm telling you, until you can grow up and think about Jess's feelings we're not friends." With that James turned and walked back into the common room not even having to speak the password because the Fat Lady opened at her own will, she seemed very interested in the conversation. Sirius stared at the spot where James had been standing. He looked up at Remus and Peter, who were equally as shocked and walked away saying to himself,

"I'm leaving this shithole." Remus watched him leave. Peter turned to Remus and said slowly and carefully,

"Is this the end of the marauders?" Remus shrugged not knowing what to say. Was it the end?

Yasmin breathed before she walked back into the dormitory. Lily sat on her own bed with a magazine looked up when she heard the door open. "Hey Yas." Yasmin smiled and went to her bed.

"I can't believe I did that." Lily put the magazine down and stared at Yasmin. Yasmin blushed red. "I yelled at Sirius in front of the whole common room. And I slapped him. Twice." Lily laughed in shock. "Then I kicked him the shin and left. I feel so alive." Lily laughed. The bathroom door opened and Jess asked,

"What's so funny?" Yasmin had to look twice. Jess looked so, well different. She was now back to her normal hair colour, which was a light brunette, wearing no make-up at all, wearing plain jeans, a black plain short sleeved t-shirt and a pair of black converse. To top it all off she was wearing a pair of black squared framed glasses. Yasmin frowned.

"I never knew you wore glasses Jess." Jess shrugged and walked over to bed where she had laid out her school books.

"Yeah, I've been wearing contacts for too long. I like these glasses, I wear glasses at home. Mum got me these over the holidays." Yasmin nodded. Jess looked so, normal. Yasmin thought it made her look better.

"Jess, you look good like that. You look like Jess. Which is a hell of a lot better than the girl who has been wearing your skin for the last few months and acting all sluty." Jess laughed. Yasmin saw she also had a brace on. It was hardly noticeable, but it was there. Jess shrugged knowing Yasmin had seen.

"I've been covering it up making it look like I have straight teeth." Yasmin nodded.

The door opened and Nancy walked in. She too had to double-take when she saw Jess. She didn't say anything about it, and simply turned to Yasmin and said,

"Nice show Heart. Liked the slaps, they made my day. Anyway James Potter is looking for you downstairs." She pointed at Jess. Jess nodded and walked out ignoring Lily's protests of going anywhere near James Potter.

James was getting inpatient. He had told Nancy that he wanted to talk to Jess like two minutes ago, where was she? He heard footsteps and saw a brunette with glasses walk down and stop in front of him. he frowned at the girl and looked once more up the stairs, when the girl cleared her throat, James thought that Jess had sent her down to talk to him. "Oh right. Well, could you tell Jess that I'm on her side? Sirius is being a prick right now and I want her to trust me. Thanks?" he turned unable to talk to a stranger. He heard the girl sigh. Jess couldn't believe that James hadn't recognized her.

"James?" James spun around at the sound of Jess's voice. He looked up at the stairs expecting her to be there. But the only person in front of him was the brunette girl. She smiled showing a clear brace on her teeth. "Thank you." James couldn't believe it; his senses were tricking him somehow. This person couldn't be Jess. The last time he had seen Jess, she had been blonde and had not had glasses or braces. What was going on? This Jess nodded to him and went turned to walk back up the stairs.

"Jess?" The girl stopped and looked back. "Oh my god, it is you! You look so different, so beautiful." James took her in his arms and hugged her. He wasn't joking, she did look beautiful, but a more plain beautiful then fake beautiful. This was the Jess he had known. His best friend.

"Thanks James. And thank you for taking my side. You're my hero. My hero has always been you James." James pulled away and looked into her eyes and shook his head.

"No way. I remember you saying that my hero should be you. So my hero, James Potter's hero is you Jessica Rhodes. And there's nothing you can do to change my mind." Jess smiled. But she knew this moment was about to broken, there were many questions that needed to be answered.


	28. A Long Way To Happy

Hey guys, thanks to all you who have read this story so far. Next chapter here, hope you like. Review and tell me if you like it! Thanks for reading. Review and smile.: ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

A Long Way To Happy

_Left in the pieces that you broke me into, torn apart but now I've got to, keep on rolling like a stone. Cause it's gonna take a long long way to happy._

Jess looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a long blood red dress, her hair was blonde again and she wasn't smiling. She looked older, as if she had aged over night. She was dressed up for a party or a celebration, but she could tell she wasn't happy about going. Something cold touched her shoulder; looking up in the mirror she saw a white hand on her. A cold approving voice spoke to her, "Come." Jess nodded and turned away from the mirror, with one look back she saw a girl, a girl who was smiling and happy. A girl who had no worries, a girl she had once been. The hand on her shoulder led her away; she walked through the open door...

"Jessica Rhodes!" Jess gasped as she woke from what had been a dream. Lily, or who she thought was Lily was hitting her with a pillow. "Jess wake up! We have lessons today." Jess nodded and moaned.

"Yeah, I'm awake." The pillow stopped hitting her and moved away. Jess sighed, she was awake now. During getting ready, which didn't take her as long as it had been taking her, she thought to her dream. Had that been her? She was positive it had been. What did it mean though? Jess was still worrying about it as she walked through the common room, through the portrait hole and down to the great hall, she didn't once notice people staring and whispering about her. She didn't notice them as she sat down in the great hall, even though it had gone quiet. The only sigh she saw was Remus staring at her. She smiled faintly and went back to thinking. No matter what she did that day, Jess couldn't get the picture of her in that dress and that cold touch out of her head and as for the voice, that was the thing that made a shiver go down her spine.

James had been watching her all day and had told people to back off when they had asked about why the change back to the geek Jess had been in the last five years? He caught up with her on the way to dinner that evening, "Hey Jess?" She snapped out of her trance to look at James. "Are you alright? You seem really out of it." Jess nodded.

"Yeah, I guess I am. I've just been thinking. I had this really weird dream. It really freaked me out. Guess I'm just crazy huh?" James shrugged.

"Guess so. I mean it was just a dream right? No secret visions or anything?" Jess smiled and shook her head.

"No, it was just very memorable." James pulled her into a hug. Jess sighed into his chest. It was strange how much she'd been thinking about a silly little dream. As if it had meant anything, it wasn't even important. Then why couldn't she get the feeling it had meant something more out of her head? James pulled away when he heard two pairs of footsteps running their way. He looked up and saw Sirius and Karen run round the corner laughing. When Sirius saw James he stopped. His expression changed from laughter, to having no expression at all. Karen stopped laughing as well; she stood there in the background not wanting to be seen. Jess frowned. What was going on? Sirius saw Jess and of course didn't recognize her. He looked between the two and narrowed his eyes; he did not mention it simply nodded his head to James, who returned the gesture. "Sirius."

"James." It was awkward. Jess knew that Sirius and Karen had no idea it was her. She tugged on James's arm, he looked down at her. He saw the question in her eyes and rolled his eyes. He grabbed her hand and walked away from the other two.

Sirius saw how James took this girl's hand with no worry. He frowned. How could James do that to Lily? He can't be cheating, can he? No, Sirius knew James would never do that. Unless something was going on he didn't know about. Who was that strange girl? She seemed so familiar, but he didn't know how. Karen took Sirius's hand. "What's wrong baby?" Sirius turned to stare at her. Karen, his girlfriend. He really looked at her. He smiled and pulled her away, James and that girl still in the back of his mind.

James pulled Jess into a spare classroom and shook his head. "You really have been in your own little world today haven't you?" Jess shrugged. She was worried about the two boys.

"What's going on James? That wasn't how you and Sirius should have greeted each other. That was, that was cold." James sighed and fell into a chair. Jess walked over and sat on a table in front of him. "Tell me."

"It was last night. After Yasmin yelled at Sirius, I asked him if it was true. I couldn't bare it Jessie. The way he had talked to you, how could I stay friends with him when he did something like that to you?" Jess couldn't hear anymore she stood up and shook her head. Of course it was her fault they weren't talking. Yasmin had told her every word she had spoken to Sirius. Jess turned back to James who was staring at the floor. He was miserable. He needed Sirius. They were best mates; she couldn't come between them two.

"What about Remus and Peter? What do they think of your little disagreement?" James shrugged, he wouldn't meet her eyes. Jess felt awful. If she had just forgotten about her feelings to Sirius this would never have happened. "Well, James there's only one thing you can do." James looked up at this point, still not looked at her, it was as if he was thinking what he could do. Jess smiled, "Tell Sirius he was right." James met her gaze when she said that. He saw how serious she was being. "Look at you, you're miserable James. I bet Sirius is feeling exactly the same. You need to talk to him James. Don't worry about me. I've got things sorted out. I know what I have to do. But what you need to do is talk to Sirius; he's your best friend. Start acting like his." James frowned,

"What about you Jess? You're my best friend too. Am I meant to just leave you?" Jess smiled and shook her head.

"Nah, we're still friends. But you and Sirius are two sides of the same coin." James stood up and pulled her into a tight hug. Jess coughed, "James, need oxygen here." James let go and laughed.

"Sorry. Ok, I have to go see Remus quickly. I love you, I really do." Jess sighed as she watched him run out of the classroom leaving her all alone. She sat down on the chair James had previously been sitting in. She closed her eyes and put her head in her hands. She was so lost in her own thoughts she didn't see Sirius enter and walk over to her. She opened her eyes and saw a pair of shoes in front of her. She snapped her head up. When she saw it was Sirius she sat up a little. She wasn't sure what she meant to say. Thankfully he spoke first,

"James has a girlfriend you know." Jess frowned and then figured out why he had come into the classroom. He had come to tell her to back off of James. She smiled, showing him her brace.

"Believe me Sirius; I don't plan on going out with James, not now not ever." When she spoke Sirius knew it Jess. He stepped back a bit, shock written all over his face. She smiled more and giggled. "Hi Sirius." She said when she saw he had figured her out.

"Jess?" She nodded. "Wow, I mean, wow. What?" Jess shrugged.

"I guess your words hit me harder than I thought they could have." Sirius looked away guiltily. "I figured the way I was, I had a long way to happy. So I thought I was happier last year. As I was. So I went back there. Here I am." Sirius was about to say something when she placed a hand on his mouth, "Wait. I have to say this. I'm sorry for acting like a bitch. It wasn't my place. I'm glad you're happy with Karen and that's all that matters really. She's a nice girl; you did good, and be happy Sirius. It's all I've ever wanted. I see that you are and it makes me happy." She stood up, Sirius was left speechless. Jess leant over and kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry." She whispered into his ear. And with that she left the room. Sirius closed his eyes remembering the soft feel on his cheek.


	29. For Reasons Unknown

Hey guys, here's the next chapter, hope you like. Keep reviewing please. Luv to all you who do or have done. Review and smile. :) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

For Reasons Unknown

_And my lips, they don't kiss, they don't kiss the way they used to, and my eyes don't recognize you no more. For reasons unknown._

Sirius walked up to the common room in a daze. He was trying so hard not to think about the kiss Jess had given him. He wished he knew why she had this affect on him. She just did. And it was annoying, but in a way nice. He wasn't watching where he was going and banged straight into Remus, who landed on the floor. "Ouch! Hey watch where you're going!" Looking down Sirius saw it was Remus and gasped, "Moony, mate. Sorry didn't see you there. Here let me help you." He offered Remus his hand, who took it. Sirius pulled Remus to his feet. Remus smiled.

"It looked like you were in deep thought. But that couldn't be because Sirius Black doesn't think intently does he?" Sirius rolled his eyes and shrugged. Remus frowned, so Sirius had been thinking about something. "Ok, so you actually were thinking about something. That changes everything. Do you want to talk about it?" Sirius nodded. Remus turned around. The two didn't stop until they were up in their dormitory. Sirius laid down onto his bed, while Remus sat next to him. "Ok Padfoot, spill."

Sirius sighed and started to talk, "I saw James talking to this girl in the corridor, then he took her hand, I thought they were together behind Evan's back." Remus frowned. "But when I went to confront the girl, I found out it was Jess. I was stunned. Have you seen her?" Remus nodded, not interrupting. "Well, then she said she was sorry and I was right. She told me everything that I had yelled at her had been true, when none of them had been. Not one. But Jess said they had been and then she said she wanted to be friends and then she kissed me on the cheek and left." His voice went softer when he talked about the kiss, Remus noted. "What am I meant to do Remus?"

"Sirius, listen to me, Jess changed over the holiday because she thought that maybe she would be happier as a different person. And I think she was to start with. Then something changed," Sirius frowned and opened to ask what had changed, when Remus continued. "So she made the decision to change back into the person who she felt comfortable being. So whatever she has done whatever changes she has made through the year have been her choices. She spent half a year being someone who she found out she's not." Sirius nodded, not really understanding, "It's not your fault Sirius. What you said, it probably just pushed her over the edge she was already standing on. She just needed that nudge, it could have been anyone to have pushed her, but it was you. She takes your opinion very seriously. I don't know why, she just does. And I think she thought maybe you would think her opinion was helpful as well. That's why she told you that she didn't think you and Karen made a good couple. Then when James agreed with Jess, you felt betrayed. That's why I think you need to make a choice." Sirius frowned and sat up to face Remus.

"What do you mean?"

"Sirius, everyone can see you have feelings for Jess, so don't tell me you don't. You're totally depressed without James. And I don't think you're happy being with Karen." Sirius looked away. Remus was right, he felt all those things.

"What am I meant to do Remus? How do I make things right?"

"You could start by saying you're a bigheaded asshole who needs to grow up?" Sirius looked to the door and saw James leaning up against the doorframe. He was staring at Sirius. James shrugged and walked over to them with his hands in his pockets. "Moony's right Sirius. You have feelings for Jess, meaning you can't have that strong feelings for Karen and anyone would be depressed without me." Sirius smiled at that. James stood in front of him and looked at Remus who nodded. "Sirius, I think you have to break up Karen." Sirius snapped his gaze to James.

"You really think I should?" Remus nodded even though Sirius was asking James. James slowly nodded at Sirius.

"And I'll tell you why. You like Jess, a hell of a lot more then you have any other girl you've been out with and to make things even better, she's totally in love with you. So I think that's reason enough to break things off with a girl who is nothing like our little Jessie, don't you think?"

Jess sat at the Gryffindor table reading her Defence essay. She was sure it didn't make sense, so she kept reading it. Lily and Yasmin were talking next to her about something. Peter sat down next to Jess. Jess looked up and saw the confused look on his face. "What's up Pete?" Peter looked at her,

"I'm not sure. But everyone is acting really strange lately. Sirius and James aren't really talking; Remus is trying to sort everything out, you keep changing your appearance, by the way I like the brunette better then the blonde and I have no idea why." Jess smiled at Peter. She had always liked Peter, mostly for his innocence. He tried to keep up with everything going on around him, but always seemed to fail. Jess rubbed his shoulder,

"I wouldn't worry Peter. I think everything will work out just fine." Peter shrugged and started eat without another word. Jess turned to Lily and Yasmin who rolled her eyes when she saw who was walking towards them. Karen smiled at Jess, who tried to smile back.

"Hey. Do any of you know where I could find Sirius?" Jess shook her head, Lily shrugged, Yasmin ignored her and Peter stared at his food also saying nothing. Karen shrugged and took a seat next to Lily. "Oh well, I'm sure he'll be here soon." She smiled a huge grin; Jess raised her eyebrows at Lily. Peter seemed strangely uncomfortable. Jess frowned at this. Peter was normally alright when he was around Jess, Lily and Yasmin. But when Karen had come he had become a little nervous. He had never done this before. Suddenly Karen jumped up. Jess turned and saw the other three marauders heading their way. Sirius looked determined and a little upset, James was kinda smiling with guilt in his eyes and Remus, well Jess had trouble reading Remus. Sirius cleared his throat and stopped just before he reached them.

"Karen, can I have a word?" She nodded and walked out with him. Jess turned to James frowning. He knew she could read him like a book. Before he could say anything they had a scream come from the corridor. Every head turned to look. Sirius walked back in with a smile on his face as if he had won the house cup. Jess along with everyone else watched him walk a proud walk up to them. He sat next to Jess. Lily and Yasmin gave him a questioning look. He smiled and shrugged, "Oh I just broke up with Karen." He said this rather loud for everyone else's benefit as well as Lily's and Yasmin's.

Jess stared at him, she didn't hear all the talk around them about how Sirius Black was single again. She just stared at him. He saw her stare and winked at her. She blushed.

Why did you break up with her Padfoot?" Peter asked, Sirius simply shrugged and turned to James,

"For many unknown reasons I guess. But the main one was because I didn't feel anything to her." James smiled and high fived him across the table. Jess knew there was a hidden meaning to that, but didn't dare ask. Her heart was beating incredibly fast, had Sirius broke up with Karen because of what she had said?


	30. She Moves In Her Own Way

Hey guys, here's the next chapter. Hope you like. Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

She Moves in Her Own Way

_But uh oh, I love her because she moves in her own way. But uh oh she came to my show just to hear about my day._

The whole school was buzzing about Sirius's sudden break up with Karen. There had been several rumours which mostly just made Jess laugh, except the only one involving her. It was only a small rumour and not many people had heard about it yet, but it still pissed off Jess. She knew it had been Karen's friends who had spread it. One girl had even come up to Jess and asked her why she would do that to Karen. The rumour, which Sirius hadn't heard yet, said that Jess had made Sirius sleep with her to show Karen that Sirius was hers and Karen was just a plaything for Sirius. But soon enough James had gotten wind of this rumour and had put a stop to it.

Karen had been seen around the school crying every other minute. Jess had noticed that people did seem to glare at Sirius more than anyone had done before, but most of the people, especially girls couldn't care less. And it looked like Sirius didn't either. He never even looked at Karen the morning after. He walked into the great hall talking with Remus and James and completely ignored Karen, which made her, get up and run out of the great hall in tears. Jess, who was just behind Sirius talking with Lily, saw her rush past. Jess felt guilty for making Karen react like that. Lily frowned and watched Karen run out of sight; she hung back until Sirius was out of hearing range before saying, "How can Sirius do this to Karen?" Jess shrugged, she too had been wondering why Sirius didn't seem to think Karen's emotions were at all important. It was thoughtless of him and Jess had never seen him behave like this before.

"I have no idea Lily, but I hope he snaps out of it, because he really hurt Karen." Lily frowned questionably at Jess. "I know I wasn't Karen's biggest fan, but the poor girl has feelings he could at least acknowledge them." Lily smiled at this. She was glad Jess wasn't being cruel towards Karen, which was what Lily had been expecting. Jess turned once more to look in the direction Karen had left in then she shook her head and walked into the great hall.

James and Remus had also been thinking on the same lines as Lily and Jess. They were incredibly surprised by Sirius's behaviour. He had never done this before. Sure Sirius had been in relationships before, plenty of them, but he had always talked to his ex's afterwards or at least let them down gently. This time seemed different, for one he had given no reason to why he had broken up with Karen, he hadn't seemed distant like he normally would have done to show the school he was broken up by the spilt up as well and he didn't seem at all worried about Karen. Remus had tried to talk to Karen about it, but when he had mentioned Sirius's name to Karen, she had started to cry and had told him to leave her alone. Remus decided not to try that again. It wasn't worth the worry and his worry was towards Sirius more than anyone else. James on the other hand thought he knew what Sirius was doing and when Jess sat opposite him that morning, had his thoughts proven correct. "Good morning everyone." Sirius smiled at Jess.

"Hey Jess. Everything ok?" Jess froze and stared at Sirius. Had he just spoken to her? And what was with that tone he had used? James exchanged looks with Remus, who raised his eyebrows. Jess nodded slowly not sure what to say. "Oh that's great. So everyone looking forward to today's lessons? I know I am." Sirius said in a cheery tone and with a bright smile, directed at Jess. Lily's eyes widened when she heard Sirius was excited about going to lessons, and then she narrowed them.

"Right because you're really looking forward for double potions and transfiguration with the Slytherins?" Sirius shrugged at her and went back to smiling at Jess and eating. Jess tried her hardest not to stare back at Sirius, but temptation had the better of her and she kept throwing him glances and he caught every one of them. She found herself blushing all the way throughout breakfast and found she could hardly speak, because when she went to talk the words got caught in her throat because Sirius was looking at her. James stood up and pulled Sirius's arm,

"Hey I want a word Padfoot, come on." James waved to Jess and Remus while blowing Lily a kiss. Lily blushed and looked down. Sirius followed James out with no questions. Jess watched the pair leave then groaned and slammed her head onto the table. Lily rubbed her shoulder. Remus frowned and asked,

"What's wrong Jess?" Jess put her head in her hands and placed her elbows on the table for support. She sighed dramatically.

"Sirius. Did you see him? All the way through breakfast he didn't stop staring at me. Why is that?" Remus smiled cheekily. Lily saw this and folded her arms. Remus rolled her eyes at Lily's reaction. Jess saw this and frowned lightly. "What?" She turned her gaze to Remus, "Do you know something?" Remus sucked in his cheeks so he didn't say anything; Jess sat up and pointed her finger at him, and said accusingly "You do know something! Oh come Remus, please tell me! Moony please?!" Remus breathed out when she used his nickname. She had never done that before and it shocked him.

"You called me Moony." He said with a matter of fact tone at Jess, who rolled her eyes.

"Yes, well done Remus that is your nickname. Now tell me what you know! Why is Sirius acting all weird towards me?" Remus turned all serious and stared directly at Jess, looking into her eyes as if to see something beyond them.

"The same reason you were ignoring him and hiding from him." He stood after he said that and turned to Lily, "Are you coming Lily? We have to go talk to Professor McGonagall before lessons start." Lily nodded, looked at Jess and mouthed, "We'll talk about it later." Then she and Remus left Jess alone with her thoughts.

James led Sirius outside onto the steps leading into the castle. There were only a few students sitting around in the cold winter air talking. James didn't sit down; he walked to the middle of the steps and stared out to the lake. "Sirius, I know what you're doing." Sirius went to stand next to him and shrugged.

"I know you know. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop." James turned to him when he said that.

"Sirius, you don't understand. You may have figured out how you feel and that's great and being nice to Jess will help. But you're ignoring Karen and it's hurting her. Didn't you notice her run away from you this morning?" Sirius looked to the floor; to be honest with himself he had seen Karen, but only out of the corner of his eye. He had been too worried about Jess behind him, about how he was going to act around her that he hadn't said anything to Karen.

"James, I'm lost with crying girls. You know that. I'd end up either being a train wreck myself or I would yell at her, like I do with Jess. I can't help it. Anyway I know that I would have done something to screw up my relationship with Karen in the end. I always do. Half the time I don't even know what I'm doing. But if I went out with Jess, I would be able to concentrate; I'd be a true gentleman to her. I'd pay more attention to her, because you know Jess, she moves in her own way, different reaction to everything. Sometimes you think she'll be totally cool with it other times she'll hate it and scream." Sirius smiled at describing Jess. James watched Sirius rant about Jess and thought that yes, Jess did have different reactions to what you'd expect, but he always knew what would happen in the end. "I think she is amazing, but I don't know how to act, it's weird I've never had this problem before." James nodded and put an arm of comfort round Sirius,

"It'll be ok mate, I'm here for you if need me." He said in a girly voice. Sirius pushed James away from him, James laughed. Sirius glared at James and walked back up the steps. James put his hands up, "I'm joking, Padfoot! Hey wait up Padfoot! Sirius!" He ran up the stairs to catch up with him.


	31. Fabulous

Hey guys, here's the next chapter. Hope you like it, please review and tell me what you think. Thanks you, review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Fabulous

_I want fabulous, that is my simple request all things fabulous nothing better than best._

By dinner Jess was completely confused. Sirius had been nice to her the entire day, which wasn't the weird thing. The weird thing was how he stared at her. It was kinda of creeping her out. But she didn't mention anything to anyone. The day seemed to go by faster than Jess could have thought it could have gone. By dinner Jess was tired and wanted to go to bed, but she couldn't because of all the homework she had to do. Which she and Yasmin were complaining about over dinner to Lily. "Why do we have to do so much? I could understand if it was really important, but doing a four feet essay on something like a stupid spell is ridiculous. I mean what can you say in four foot of parchment about a stupid spell no one is ever going to use in their life?" Yasmin complained, Lily sat there in silence eating. Jess nodded.

"I totally agree with you Yasmin. Why do they call it homework anyway? We're not exactly at home, not really." Lily sighed silently and inwardly rolled her eyes. "All I want to do tonight is sleep, but oh no, I have to do my Transfiguration essay, which I have no idea about because Sirius wouldn't stop staring at me, so I got put off." Yasmin frowned at this; she too had noticed Sirius staring at Jess. Lily had filled her in at what had happened at breakfast and Yasmin was also confused with the boy's behaviour.

"Speak of the devil." Jess and Yasmin looked up towards the doors, where the marauders were making their entrance. Lily frowned and looked at her watch. "Aren't they a little late for dinner?" Jess shrugged and watched the four of them make their way to the three girls. James sat down with a huge smile on his face. Peter sat next to Yasmin and sighed,

"Food, finally. I'm starved." Jess laughed along with Lily, James and Sirius. Remus was shaking his head and Yasmin was staring at the ceiling lost in her own thoughts.

"Where have you four been then?" Jess asked. Sirius and James grinned guiltily. Lily rolled her eyes, Jess got the picture. "Detention again. When will you four learn I wonder?" Sirius and James answered at the same time with a yell of,

"NEVER!" Jess laughed at their outburst. Yasmin looked at the pair with an amused look. Sirius leant over the table to grab a bread roll, "So you girls ready for the big party on Friday night?" Jess frowned then her eyes widened when she remembered. It was James's birthday on Friday. She had already gotten him his present, but she didn't realise it was the end of January already.

"Yep, I've sorted out what I'm going to wear as well." Yasmin said proudly at Sirius, who grinned at her. Lily simply nodded in agreement. Sirius turned his eyes to Jess,

"Well, I don't know what I'm going to wear." Sirius's grin turned more into a smile.

"Did you know Remus is setting up a sound system and there's going to be karaoke?" Peter spoke up, making Remus blush at how Peter at sounded admired. Jess smiled at Remus.

"Really?" Remus nodded. Lily grinned and turned to Jess,

"You should sing." Sirius and James both looked at Jess, who turned slightly pink at everyone looking at her. James frowned, confused.

"I didn't know you could sing Jessie." Jess nodded at glared at Lily.

"Yeah, every now and then. I'm not really that good." James smiled,

"I bet you are fabulous." Jess shook her head and yawned.

"Man I'm beat, I'm going to bed. Night everyone." Sirius frowned as Jess stood up.

"But you've only just eaten dinner..." He said, but she had already gone.

Later Lily walked into the dormitory to find Jess sitting on her bed writing while listening to Nancy talk about something. When the two saw Lily standing there Nancy smiled and picked up her dressing gown. "Hey Evans, I'm going to take a shower, nice talking Rhodes." Nancy went into the bathroom. Lily smiled and walked over to her bed.

"You and Nancy are becoming closer." Jess nodded and put her quill down. "So have you thought about what you're going to sing?" Jess shook her head at Lily.

"I don't even know if I should sing." Lily sat on her bed and gasped with a thought.

"Why don't you sing to Sirius?" Jess frowned in shock.

"What?" Lily ran over to her bed and grabbed Jess's hand and pulled her up.

"Yeah, you should sing to Sirius, it'll be the perfect opportunity. He's single as are you. It's perfect!" Lily squealed. Jess however wasn't really thrilled by the idea, but knew it would work.

"Fine, I'll sing." Lily jumped up and down and clapped her hands. "But I get to sing what I want to sing." Lily nodded. "Ok, go find Remus and tell him I want to sing..."


	32. Get This Party Started

Hey guys, here's the next chapter, hope you like. Review please! Enjoy. Review and smile as always. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Get This Party Started

_Get this part started on a Saturday night everybody's waiting for me to arrive._

James screamed as he shot down another bottle of firewhiskey. Sirius laughed loudly and slapped him on the back and gave him another firewhiskey, "You're going to need this for whoever sings next!" James laughed. A group of Hufflepuff girls stumbled up onto the stage and took the microphone. Sirius whistled at them, making them all blush and giggle. James laughed and turned to smile at Jess and Lily. Jess shook her head after smiling back at James. He seemed to be enjoying himself, and that was all that mattered. Lily sighed as she saw James making his way over to them. He put his arm round her and kissed her ear. Jess made a face and James put his finger up at her,

"It's my birthday." Lily pushed him away and narrowed her eyes at him in fake annoyance.

"Yeah, but it's not mine." She flipped her hair into his face and winked at Jess. Jess giggled and pouted at James.

"She got you there James." Jess reached forward and ruffled his hair. "But you are right, it is your birthday and you seem to be having fun." James nodded with a huge smile on his face.

"It's amazing. So you got your song ready, Lily told me what you're gonna do." Jess groaned and shook her head. James took her in his arms and kissed her head, "You'll be fine Jess, and I believe you can do this." He pulled away and added, "Unless you're a crappy singer, in that case I'll just laugh." Lily looked shocked and hit James on the arm, who rubbed it, "OW! I was only joking. I didn't mean it. Dance with me?" Lily rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand and led him away onto the dance floor. Jess watched them walk away and sighed. She went to get a glass of water, meeting Remus at the drinks table.

"Hey Remus." He looked up and smiled.

"Hi Jess. Enjoying yourself?" Jess nodded.

"But to be honest, I'm bloody nervous. I can't believe I'm going to do this." Remus smiled hopefully, Jess shrugged and looked around, "Aren't there any drinks that aren't alcoholic?" Remus shook his head.

"Not on the table there aren't, but being the sensible one, I brought some bottles of water and fruit juice just in case." Jess smiled thankfully when he bent down and pulled out a normal bottle of water.

"Thanks Remus, I'm not really in the mood to drink." Remus nodded, he knew how that felt. Jess opened it and took a sip. It was cold in her mouth, but somehow smoothing. "This is amazing." She suddenly got a weird feeling in her stomach when she heard the music stop. Turning to the stage she waited for her name to be read, instead, "Robin Knight, Ravenclaw is next." A bunch of girls in the corner squealed loudly as one of their friends walked onto stage. Jess sighed with relief. Remus saw this and laughed softly.

"You'll have to sing eventually." Jess turned to him and nodded reluctantly.

"I know." She sighed, "I'm going to go warn Sirius I'm going to sing soon. To make sure he is actually going to watch me sing." Remus nodded,

"Good luck with that. Oh you'll be fine by the way." Jess flashed him a smile then ducked back into the crowd. She walked around until she saw Sirius sitting on one of the couches with about ten different girls all over him basically. She frowned and pushed her way through. When he saw her in grinned and waved her over. Jess walked up to him, he offered her a seat.

"No I'm okay. Just wanted to let you know, I'm gonna sing soon so if you don't want to hear my shrieking better to leave now then later." Jess laughed playfully and nervously. Sirius however didn't laugh. He sat there and shook his head and took her hands,

"Jess, you'll be fine. I know you'll be amazing. So in my words get this party started with you hey?" Jess nodded unsure what to say to that. One of the girls who was sitting with Sirius tugged on his arm,

"Oh Sirius did you just hear what Cathy said?" Sirius turned to her and was distracted by the conversation. Jess stood there for a moment feeling a little silly when the girl who had spoken glared at her. Jess took that as a cue to leave.

She was on her way back to Remus when a hand grabbed her arm, it was Yasmin. "Jess, you're singing in after that boy there has sung. How you feeling?" Jess shrugged not wanting everyone to hear she was so nervous her hands were shaking and sweating. Yasmin could feel Jess shaking and gave her arm a reassuring squeeze, "You'll do great. Honestly you will." Jess nodded once again, not sure she could form words. Yasmin took that nod as thanks. They walked together back to where Sirius had been sitting because Yasmin was going to tell him that the song was for him. "I'll be nice Jess, no worries there." Jess nodded, she felt rather sick. She had never felt like this before and she had decided she didn't want to feel like this ever again. Then something made her feel even more ill.

Sitting there exactly where he had been was Sirius, but this time he was laughing with that girl, he was kissing her. Jess suddenly felt as though she was going to faint. Yasmin had also seen and was basically holding Jess up at that point. Lily walked over to them with a huge smile on her face. "You're up next Jess; I can't believe how incredible this is going to be! You're finally going to get everything out in the open." Yasmin raised her eyebrows and looked over her shoulder. Lily followed her gaze and saw Sirius. She gasped and spun back to face Jess who was shaking even more violently then she had been. "Jess, we can stop this if you want. I'll go tell Remus you don't want to sing, wait here..." She never finished because Peter was on stage announcing,

"Next up a very special performance. Her first time on stage so go nice, Jessica Rhodes of Gryffindor!" Loud applause was the only thing Jess could hear as she turned and made her way onto the stage.

* * *

AN: Just to let everyone know, this story is far from over and even though in the next few chapters things may go smoothly, but it'll all turn so I hope you weren't expecting the story to be over just yet because there is actually a storyline unfolding slowly...


	33. A Thousand Miles

Hey guys, here's the next chapter. It's shorter than usual, so sorry for that. Review please, thanks if you already have for this story, review again, it's great to hear your thoughts. Thanks you. Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

* * *

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

A Thousand Miles

_If I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by, cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you, tonight._

When Sirius heard Jess's name being called he broke away from Fiona, the girl who he'd been kissing. She looked rather annoyed, but he paid her no attention. He watched as the room grew silent and Jess make her way up onto the stage. He could tell she was nervous, but when she took the microphone and looked out at the audience she breathed out. He caught her eyes and smiled. She smiled back and he saw her shoulders relax. She smiled around, "Um, hello everyone." Her voice cracked a little. "I've chosen a song I think relates to me a bit, I don't know you may disagree. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it." She looked once more into Sirius's eyes as if to mean something different. Music started, it was piano piece.

Jess sighed and started to sing softly,

"Making my way downtown  
Walking fast  
Faces pass  
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making a way  
Through the crowd

And I need you  
And I miss you  
And now I wonder....

If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could  
Just see you  
Tonight"

Sirius couldn't take his eyes away from Jess, she sung a little louder,

"It's always times like these  
When I think of you  
And I wonder  
If you ever  
Think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong  
And I don't belong  
Living in your  
Precious memories

'Cause I need you  
And I miss you  
And now I wonder....

If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could  
Just see you  
Tonight

And I, I  
Don't want to let you know  
I, I  
Drown in your memory  
I, I  
Don't want to let this go  
I, I  
Don't....

Making my way downtown  
Walking fast  
Faces pass  
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making a way  
Through the crowd

And I still need you  
And I still miss you  
And now I wonder...."

Sirius watched as Jess slowed down and slowly brought her eyes up to meet his. He saw something there, it was as if Jess was doing all this for a reason, but what was the reason?

"If I could fall  
into the sky  
do you think time  
would pass us by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
if I could  
just see you..."

Suddenly Sirius understood. Jess opened her mouth and sung louder than before and Sirius slowly got to feet.

"If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could  
Just see you  
If I could  
Just hold you  
Tonight"

Jess stopped singing and looked directly at Sirius. The whole room exploded into applause, but neither Jess nor Sirius noticed. They were too busy staring at each other. Sirius knew why she had sung, why she had chosen that song. He knew and he wanted to let Jess know how he felt. Someone pushed him violently; he fell forwards but caught himself before falling on his face. When he looked up again Jess wasn't there. He stood up on his tip-toes to try and find her in the mass of people. He cursed James for inviting so many people, and for knowing so many people. He tried in vain to try and spot her in the crowd, but had no luck. He sighed. Until he saw Yasmin jumping up and down trying to catch his attention, when she saw she had it she pointed towards the door and Sirius was just in time to see Jess run away from talking to Lily who stood there watching her leave. Sirius ran pushing his way through, not caring who he bumped into on his way. He just had to get through no matter what. When he did make it to the door Lily was still standing there and she grabbed his arm, he turned, "Be gentle Sirius. She knows you figured it out, I hope, along with everyone else that the two of you make the right choice. The thing is, I see a bumpy road ahead for the two of you." Sirius was momently stuck to the floor staring at Lily. What did she mean? Wait, why did he care at that moment? Jess was running away from him, the only thing he should care about was Jess. Lily let him go and James ran up to them and gave him the thumbs up. Sirius smiled and nodded at the pair of them. With no other thing to do Sirius took off at top speed out to meet Jess.

* * *

AN: I hope you liked the song I chose, just to let you know 'Girlfriend' by Avril Lavigne hasn't been chosen for a reason. (Hint for upcoming thoughts of mine! :D)


	34. Umbrella

Hey guys next chapter here, hope you like. Review please, smiles to all who do ;) review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Umbrella

_Now that's raining more than ever, know that we'll still have each, you can stand under my umbrella, oh you can stand under my umbrella._

The one thing that Jess hadn't been counting on when she had ran out of the part for it to be slinging it down with rain. She ran through the doors and swore, "Shit." Seeing as she was already wet from just stepping out of the doors she decided she might as well carry on to where she had planned to go.

Sirius heard a clap of thunder as he ran to the doors, they were open and he could just make out a figure running away from the castle. He squinted and was pretty sure it was Jess. Before he went out into the rain he yelled "Jess!" out into the night. He heard footsteps behind him and turned. He was about to get into trouble, but when he turned he saw Professor Dumbledore standing there smiling with what looked like a phoenix sitting on his shoulder. Sirius tried to think of some reason he was standing in front of the wide open doors yelling Jess's name into the rain. Professor Dumbledore however spoke first, "Sirius you know what you have to do," Sirius frowned in confusion. Dumbledore winked at him, then as Sirius turned to run into the rain Dumbledore spoke soft but clearly at him, "But Miss Evans was correct, the path ahead is not a smooth one, neither will it be easy, it'll be interesting to see which path you decide to take Mr Black." Sirius didn't turn around at this; he didn't want to know what that meant. Instead he decided that it was nothing and ran out after Jess.

When Jess had made it to the edge of the lake she was drenched. Everything was wet. She looked up into the sky. Lightening shot across the sky followed by a clap of thunder. She reached her hands out and screamed into the rain. She screamed until she was crying, she fell onto her knees on the floor. Why her? What had she done to deserve all this? Why did everything go wrong? She put her head in her hands and cried. She was about to lie on the ground and wait until she was either really hungry or tired before moving, when she heard footsteps and someone yell her name. "Jess!" She sat up and turned while still sitting on the wet ground. A dark figure slowly became clearer through the rain as they made their way towards her. When she saw who it was, she shook her head.

"You're not real. If you were you wouldn't be here." Sirius walked over to her and crouched down to looked at her face.

"It's me Jess, believe it." She looked into his eyes and knew he was telling the truth. She stood up and stepped back.

"Why are you here?" Sirius shrugged and ran his hands through his wet hair,

"I was going to let you stand under my umbrella, but it appears I forgot mine." Jess laughed softly and shook her head. Sirius stepped towards her, she didn't move. She looked up at him, not sure what he was planning. "Jess, I've been a right dick. All I've thought about is myself. I never even thought twice that you might actually have feelings for me. I know you said you did, but I thought it was a trick, I thought you were playing with me. Then tonight, when I saw you staring at me, it hit me. I've liked you ever since I first saw you, and I don't mean this year. When I first saw, I was jealous of James that he was so close to you. But I wanted a guy mate more then I wanted a girl friend, I was only eleven!" Jess smiled and agreed, she knew how that had felt. "When I saw you on the train and you actually had the guts to talk back at me, I knew I wanted to get to know you. I didn't want to be enemies anymore. I was tired of it. I wanted to get to know you as Jess. I thought I had a shot when you started talking to me as a person. Then everything changed; everything that happened. It just made things worse, because you make me feel so strange. I can't think straight, I always do stupid things when I think about you or I'm around you. I can't explain it." Jess shook her head; she had tears in her eyes.

"You don't have to. I know exactly how you feel Sirius. Because I feel the same." When she said that Sirius looked at her in disbelief, what was she saying? "Sirius, I have done stupid things that don't make sense, I don't know why I just have. And I think it might be because of you. I can't understand my own reactions when I'm around you. I act so differently. I either become incredibly depressed, or sometimes I get so angry with myself I just want to hit something, other times I simply want to..." Sirius saw she was about to rant so he lent forward grabbed her chin and pressed his lips against hers. Jess made a funny noise then relaxed against him. Sirius smiled into the kiss. Jess could feel Sirius's tongue push against her lips and opened for him. Before things could get even more heated a crack of thunder made Jess jump away. Sirius smiled and laughed at Jess, who stood there staring at the sky. He took her all in, she was drenched. "Maybe we should go in." Sirius heard her speak; she spoke softly and never took her eyes away from his. He nodded not wanting to say anything, because knowing him he would say something that she didn't need to hear.

* * *

AN: I would just like to thank Sheyanne Blaine and kt potter93 for each of their reviews, keep it up guys I love to hear from you! Big thanks.


	35. What I've Been Looking For

Here's the next chapter people, hope you like it. Thanks for all your reviews, keep them coming. Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

What I've been looking for

_And I've never had someone as good for me as you, no one like you, so lonely before I've finally found. What I've been looking for._

Jess smiled. It was the happiest she had been this year. She sat down at the Gryffindor table with Lily and grinned at Yasmin, who gave her questioning eyes. Remus, who she had been talking to, turned to them and raised his eyebrows at Jess. She frowned, "Hey, what?" Yasmin narrowed her eyes even more, "What?!" Jess asked in a little higher pitched tone. Yasmin shook her head, but didn't say anything. She just stared at Jess. Jess suddenly felt very self aware. "Yasmin, what do you want to know? You can't keep staring at me because it's annoying." Jess asked loudly at her. Yasmin sighed,

"You're happy. Why are you happy?" Jess laughed,

"Aren't I allowed to be happy?" Yasmin shook her head, a smile appearing on her face. She already knew why Jess was happy, but she wanted Jess to say it out loud. "Fine, I'll tell you. I kissed Sirius and I think we're a couple." Yasmin squealed and clapped her hands. Remus's eyes widened at this. He was happy for Jess, but he wasn't sure about it. Lily laughed as Yasmin jumped up and down on her chair and clapped. Jess giggled at the sight of her friend jumping around on her seat. James and Sirius had just walked in and were slowing down at the sight of Yasmin. James sat down next to Lily and kissed her on the lips.

"Morning Lil, Jess. What the hell is Yasmin doing?" Jess giggled even harder and Lily laughed and took James's hand. Yasmin stopped at the question and gave James evils. Sirius sat down next to Jess and smiled at her. Yasmin squealed very loudly again and clapped. She went to jump up and down but Remus took her hand to stop her,

"I think we've had enough of you jumping up and down, it's too early. Sorry Yas." Yasmin snatched her hand away and stuck her tongue out at him. He rolled his eyes and explained the situation to James and Sirius. "She's happy because of you two." He pointed at Jess and Sirius. "And Jess only said that you kissed and weren't even sure what is going on." Jess blushed at this and turned to Sirius. He looked confused. Jess wasn't sure about it. What was he thinking? Remus suddenly realised what he had just said and stood up. "Um, Yasmin could you come to the library with me?" Yasmin looked up at Remus, and raised her eyebrows.

"I could yeah." Remus glared at her and sighed.

"Will you come with me?" Yasmin smiled sweetly.

"Yeah alright then." Remus looked relieved. Until when Yasmin stood up and whispered in his ear, "I'm gonna kick your ass when we're out of sight from them lot." Remus looked scared and was pushed out of the great hall by Yasmin. Jess looked down at her plate, unsure what she was meant to do now. Sirius touched her cheek. Jess looked up at him and saw hope in his eyes.

"Hey, what's going on with you?" Jess shrugged, really confused at him. "Listen, I want to be with you. I thought you knew that." Jess shrugged again, feeling nervous but Sirius lent in and kissed her softly. It only lasted a second, but Jess felt fluttery. People around them looked and Jess felt herself go red.

Later on Lily and Jess were walking to the great hall to meet up with the guys when they had to push through a crowd of Ravenclaw girls. One of the girls talked very loudly to the rest, "I heard that Sirius is totally rethinking about going out with that girl. I mean, hello! Look at the pair of them, they look stupid together. They totally don't go." Some of the others laughed. Jess turned and saw that the girl who had spoken was staring at her. Jess frowned. She wasn't sure whether she should say anything to her or not. But Lily grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her away. Jess glared,

"Why did you do that?" Lily sighed.

"Look, I don't want you to get into a fight. Especially over Sirius. He isn't worth it." Jess breathed in and out calming herself down. "Those girls aren't worth it either. That one who spoke was making out with Sirius before you sung at James's party. I think her name is Fiona." Jess shrugged.

"Whatever. Me and Sirius can work around all this. But to be honest with you Lily, I'm worried that I maybe just another one of those girls. I know he says I'm different, but I don't think I am." Lily put her arm around Jess.

"No worries Jess, I bet you everything will be fine. He's what you've been looking for right?" Jess nodded and she believed it. So why did she have a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach?


	36. Where Is Your Heart?

Here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy. Thanks for all your reviews so far. I love to read what you think. Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Where is your heart?

_Where is your heart? Cause I don't really feel you. Where is your heart? What I really want is to believe you. Is it so hard? To give me what I need, I want your heart to bleed that's all I'm asking for._

It was dark. There was only a small amount of light. Jess could hear breathing. She had stopped herself as soon as she had realised she wasn't on her own. Trying to find the source of the breathing through the darkness Jess became aware of a figure behind her. She was going to turn to face whoever it was, when a cold hand touched her shoulder. She jumped even though she had known there had been someone there. "Don't look." It was a cold hard voice which spoke gently in her ear. Jess froze up at the voice. It sent chills down her spine. "Jessica, close your eyes." Jess shut her eyes slowly. The hand never left her shoulder. "You are very special to us Jessica. You need to make a choice." The voice said. It was still soft but something about it scared Jess. "Jessica, I need your answer." Jess felt something in her lungs. As if they were closing into her chest. She started to cough trying to get air into her lungs. The voice spoke sharply at Jess, "Jessica, speak!" Jess couldn't stop coughing; she fell to the floor and...

Jess woke up in an instance. She breathed. She found it easy. She frowned. What was going on? Why was she so afraid of these dreams? She didn't have a chance to have another thought of her dreams when Lily fell out of the bathroom. "Ouch." Jess frowned. Lily saw her frowning at her and smiled. "Morning Jess. Sorry, I just tripped." Jess nodded and decided she might as well get up.

Jess, Lily and Yasmin walked into the great hall slightly later then they had for the entire year. Jess smiled, as they walked in Sirius and Remus walked out. Sirius smiled at Jess and hugged her. Jess lent up towards his face when he pulled away. "Good morning. How are you today?" Jess's eyebrows crossed and shrugged.

"Fine. Where are you going?" Jess asked Remus and Sirius. Sirius looked at Remus quickly then back at the girls as though he never had looked at Remus, but Jess had seen it.

"We're just going to find a book for Potions. Sirius appears to have misplaced his." Remus said as though he was bored. Sirius smiled innocently. Lily and Yasmin giggled. Jess just smiled. Sirius saw this and his smile faulted.

"I'll see you in Potions." He kissed her on the cheek then the two left with a wave from Remus. Jess waved back and walked into the great hall with no other words. Lily and Yasmin exchanged a look, they had seen Jess's reactions and wasn't sure what it meant, so they ran into the great hall after their friend.

"Jess, what was that?" Lily asked as she sat next to Jess, who had grabbed some coffee and a piece of toast. She picked up the toast as though going to eat it, then dropped the toast.

"I don't know." Yasmin sat the other side and poured herself some coffee. "Sirius is acting really strange." Yasmin sipped her coffee and looked at Lily and Jess.

"How do you mean Sirius is acting strange? You've only been going out a week." Jess nodded and pulled her toast to pieces. Lily drank some orange juice and looked at her watch. "Come on, we're going to be late. I wonder where James is." Jess looked around, Peter was sitting at the end of the table with some fellow Gryffindor's but there was no sign of James.

The rest of the day Jess didn't really talk to Sirius at all. She had tried to talk to him at lunch but he said he had things to do. James had reappeared with no explanation as where he had been this morning; instead he just said he was busy as well. Jess started to worry. She felt unwanted all of a sudden.

It was late and Jess was afraid of going to sleep. She sat in the common room in her dressing room staring into the fire. Everyone else had gone to sleep a long time ago; she guessed she was the only one awake. She was wrong when she heard footsteps behind her. She didn't want to turn and see who it was. "Jess?" She hummed a reply. Remus walked round to sit on the sofa facing her armchair. "What are you doing up so late?" Jess pulled her dressing gown around her.

"Couldn't sleep." Remus nodded.

"Join the club." Jess frowned. Remus saw it and explained, "A few nights before my transformation I get nightmares from the last one. Memories people call them, but to me they're nightmares. How about you?" Jess wasn't sure whether she should tell Remus about her nightmares. They seemed private to her, for now anyway.

"Just my own thoughts." Remus was about to ask, when Jess asked him a question instead, "Remus, does Sirius normally ignore his girlfriend?" Remus frowned.

"No. that's normally the opposite of what Sirius does with his girlfriends. Why do you ask?" Jess sighed and looked up at him.

"Well, Sirius doesn't really seem into this relationship. We hardly do anything together; the only time we've kissed was James's party. He just doesn't seem to be enjoying it." Remus leant forward and touched Jess's knee.

"I don't know Jess. His previous relationships have just been about him snogging the girl; he never even used to talk to the girl. I think you and him have something special." Jess rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"It doesn't seem like it. He doesn't seem to have a heart at all. I mean, where is his heart? He had one, when he kissed me, he had one. But during the week, it's as though he has lost it. As though he doesn't want to know me anymore. And I'm hurting Remus, it's hurting me." Remus saw how broken she looked. He wanted to say something, but he too had noticed Sirius's actions during the week. "I thought me and Sirius being together would solve everything, it would stop the hurting. But I'll have to admit, it's making it worse. I've tried Remus, all this week I have tried to get him to notice me. It's like he doesn't want to been seen with me, but that wouldn't make sense because the other day we were alone in here and he said he was tired as soon as I went to sit next to him. For some reason he is avoiding me and I have also tired to ask what is going on, I did that yesterday but he made some stupid excuse to leave. Remus, I'm just so tired of trying." Jess put her head in her hands. She was so confused with Sirius she felt worn out. Remus stood up and sat on the arm of the chair and put his arm around her.

"Jess, I don't know what's gotten into Sirius. But maybe you should ask him. Tell him that you're hurting. And if it's something you can't handle break it off with him. don't tell anyone I'm saying this because he is my best friend, but Sirius has mood changes, one minute he loves something the next he gets bored with it. Fickle is the word to describe Sirius. And most of his relationships don't last more than a week or two at the most. I thought he would be different with you. I guess not." Remus looked down at Jess, who looked up at this.

"I just don't know anymore Remus. It's too hard." Remus rubbed her back and nodded in agreement. It seemed as though Jess always got the raw side of everything. He didn't want to see her get hurt anymore. But it could be that Sirius was trying to make a decision about something and was taking his time. Remus wished that was the answer. "I don't think I can handle anymore of his drama Remus." When she whispered this Remus pulled away and stood. He wasn't sure whose side to take.

"Jess, maybe you're just imagining all this. Talk to Sirius. That might explain something. But don't jump to conclusions. Make the right choice, whatever that maybe." Jess stared at him amazed. He had totally just changed his story. Remus shook his head. What was he doing? "Just don't do anything stupid." With that he walked back upstairs. Jess watched him leave. What was that? She didn't understand Remus's behaviour. Suddenly there, sitting staring at the place Remus had just been standing Jess knew that being friends with the marauders had been a mistake. They were all the same. She didn't care about Sirius's behaviour. He was hurting her and as her boyfriend he should be able to see that. But no, he was basically ignoring her and she was tired. She was tired of him and she was tired of trying to be his friend or anything more. He was too confusing and frankly she couldn't be bothered anymore. The marauder's drama had finally taken its toll on her, it was over.

* * *

Has Jess given up? I know she's acting a little strange but she's not perfect.


	37. Something Good

Hey guys, here's the next chapter. I'm not sure whether you'll like the outcome though. Anyway, review and tell me what you think. Thank you. Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Something Good

_For here you are standing there loving me, whether or not you should. So somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good._

Jess was relieved when she woke the next day knowing she had had a sleepless night. But it did not help the feeling in her stomach. The feeling was what she was about to do today. She was about to tell someone she felt strongly for she no longer wished to feel like that. She knew she was lying to herself, but she was fed up. She hardly spoke a word during the morning. Yasmin noticed this but wasn't sure what she was meant to do. Remus was avoiding everyone for some reason and Yasmin knew it wasn't because of the full moon even though it was around the right time. Sirius was still acting odd around Jess. James was too busy with something no one knew anything of, but Yasmin was sure Lily did. This was because Lily kept blushing every time James walked into a room or spoke or did anything. Peter wasn't around much; he kept making excuses about his whereabouts.

The only person who had noticed each one of the strange behaviours was Yasmin. She decided to go around and sort everything else. Her first victim was Remus. She caught up with him while he was walking to lunch. "Remus!" He didn't stop or turn around. She yelled again, "Remus!" He stopped. When she reached him she flashed him a smile. He didn't return it. "Remus, I need to talk to you." Remus looked down at her, his expression bored. "What is going on?" She was blunt. She could think of no other way of asking. He shook his head.

"Yasmin, you wouldn't understand." Yasmin frowned. He went to step around her, but she put a hand out to stop him. Remus sighed, "What now?" he asked sharply. Yasmin felt a little hurt, Remus was never like this to anyone.

"What now? Remus you're not acting like yourself. You're acting all strange and I want to know why?!" She spoke sharply this time. Remus didn't look down at her. "Remus, please?" She said this softer and more like a plead. Remus sighed once more.

"It's things at home. I got a letter last night from my dad. Which is weird because he never sends me mail, he's always working. Always too busy. But he sent the letter, and it said my mum is in hospital. She's really ill Yasmin. All those times I lied saying I was visiting her because she was ill, now she is." Yasmin took his arm when he started to break down. Yasmin hadn't known much about Remus's home life, but from that sentence she knew it wasn't a happy one.

"I'm so sorry Remus. I shouldn't have been so cruel." Remus shook his head and pulled her in for a hug.

"You didn't know. Thank you, I needed to tell someone." Yasmin squeezed him a little. They stood there for a while. Afterwards they went to lunch together and Remus didn't say anything else about it. But he did speak a little more which made Yasmin smile. She knew he would tell Sirius and James soon enough. But first of all she needed to talk to them. James and Lily were next. Yasmin couldn't be certain, but she was pretty sure that their problems were the same problem. If that made sense? She caught them walking down the corridor in silence together. They were walking away apart and this made Yasmin shake her head. She ran into the middle of the pair and took one of their hands in hers.

"Hey you two love birds." Neither Lily nor James replied to that. Yasmin rolled her eyes and stopped, making James and Lily stop as well. "Ok, what is going on?" They started to talk at the same time, but Yasmin couldn't understand because they were both talking fast and quiet. She waved her arms and said "Stop, guys." Neither of them listened and went on talking. Yasmin waved her arms and this time whistled very loudly, "Guys!" They immediately stopped and looked at her. "God, what is it with you two? Lily you talk first." Lily flushed red.

"Well, we might have..." She stopped talking and looked at James who was staring at her with wide eyes. Yasmin saw this and narrowed hers. When they both turned away and if possible went redder Yasmin understood and giggled.

"Did you two do what I think you did?" James nodded shyly. Yasmin laughed. She couldn't help herself. She slowly calmed down and put her hand to her mouth as if to shield her laughter. "Sorry. I shouldn't laugh. But what's the big deal? Was it that bad?" James coughed and Lily gasped. Yasmin laughed louder and harder when they did that. "Ok, you need to work that out between that pair of you. I'm not having this conversation; you should have had this with your parents." Lily nodded and turned to James.

"She's right. We need to talk; I think we've been acting strange." James nodded and took her hand.

"Yeah. I guess we have." Lily smiled and pulled at his hand to lead him away when Yasmin stopped James. Lily stopped herself when she saw this. Yasmin smiled at Lily,

"Sorry Lily, can I quickly talk to James? There's something I need to tell him, I'll only be a second, I promise." Lily seeing how honest Yasmin was being nodded and walked around the corner. Yasmin turned to James who was frowning. Yasmin sighed, "I don't know if I should say anything, but seeing as how you and Lily are going to sort out your little problem, I thought maybe you could help." James's frown deepened.

"Sure, what's wrong Yas?" Yasmin almost didn't say a thing, but knew it was best for Remus if she did.

"Ok. It's about Remus. He has had some bad news about his mum from his dad." James looked amazed at that.

"His dad? But his dad never writes to him or talks to him or even acknowledges he's alive. It must be bad if his dad wrote to him." Yasmin nodded sadly.

"Yeah, it's about his mum. She's ill. She's in hospital. And now Remus is acting all guilty about how he used to say his mum was ill when it was a full moon. I need you to talk to him. Cheer him up a bit." James nodded, Yasmin smiled with relief.

"No problems Yasmin, I'll go talk to him after me and Lily talk." James hugged her quickly and ran after Lily. Yasmin sighed. She looked around and there were only two people left to sort out.

She walked up to the common room and when she entered heard two people yelling at each other. "I thought we had something good Sirius." That was Jess's voice.

"We do have something good Jess; don't speak like we're over." Yasmin ran over and saw Jess and Sirius standing in the common room face to face.

"Well, if you liked me Sirius we would act like a couple!" Sirius looked confused at this statement.

"What do you mean? I don't want to rush this relationship." Jess shook her head.

"Relationship?! We had more of a relationship when we were friends. Sirius, we never do anything together. You haven't sat with me at breakfast, we haven't spent any time together and not to mention we haven't kissed since James's party. What kind of relationship are we in?" Sirius didn't say anything. "Am I not good enough for you Sirius? Did I not put out enough for you?" Sirius shook his head.

"What? No, no!" he stuttered as Jess turned away from him. "Jess, I don't want to hurt you!" Sirius pleaded with her. Jess sniffed and turned back to face him. Yasmin gasped at the sight of how hurt Jess's face was. When Jess spoke she spoke very quietly, but people heard her,

"You already have."


	38. Gotta Go My Own Way

Hey guys, here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. If the grammar or spelling seems off, it's because I'm feeling a little under the weather. So sorry if there are any. Please review about the chapter. Thanks for all your reviews so far. Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Gotta go my own way

_We might find our place in this world some day, but at least for now, I've got to go my own way._

"Jess! Jessica!" Sirius yelled at Jess as she walked out of the common room. When she heard him yell her full name she spun on her heel and glared at him.

"Don't call me Jessica!" Jess yelled back at him angrily. Sirius stopped running when he reached her. "Why are you following me Sirius?" Sirius frowned.

"Because I think you're being stupid. Thank about this for a moment. What are you doing?" Jess rolled her eyes.

"I'm doing what I need to Sirius. I have had it with your drama. I thought you wanted to be with me, but you never act as if you do. I've got to go my own way. I'm sorry." Jess breathed and started to break down. "I can't do this Sirius. I'm so sorry, but maybe when you've learnt how to act like a real boyfriend, I'll be here. But right now, you have to make your choice. I'm sorry Sirius." With tears falling down her face Jess kissed him on the cheek and turned around. She sniffed and ran away from Sirius. Sirius stood there in shock. He couldn't think of anything to say or do, he just stood there, staring at Jess's retreating back.

James and Lily both stared at Yasmin as if she was making a joke. Yasmin simply shrugged. "That's all I heard, that's all _everyone_ heard." James fell onto the chair behind him and sighed. What had they missed? Lily stared at the ground. "I think, as their best friends we're the ones who will have to talk to them." Lily hesitated then nodded. She looked up,

"Right, I'll go find Jess and James you go find Sirius, that ok with everyone?" Yasmin shook her head. She had another idea; one which she thought would work a little better. Lily frowned.

"No, Lily that's not ok. I think we should leave Jess. She needs to be on her own. So I think, Lily you go and talk to Sirius. You can give him more advice then James can about Jess." Lily was about to protest, saying that James knew Jess more than anyone. But James's voice made her frown,

"Yeah, Lily you go find Sirius. You know how girls think; I think that's a great idea." Lily had no idea what was going on between the pair, come to think of it, she didn't want to know. Instead she nodded at them and without another word disappeared. Yasmin and James didn't talk until they had both watched Lily walked out of the portrait hole and it had closed. Yasmin turned to James and nodded about to say thanks when James shook his head, "Don't worry. I know what you want me to do. I'll go find him." Yasmin smiled.

"Thanks anyway James. I think Remus needs you." James nodded. He patted Yasmin on the head and walked up to his room where he knew Remus was. He walked in and saw Remus sitting on the edge of his bed reading a letter.

"Remus, is everything ok?" Remus turned to see James, he smiled sheepishly at him.

"James, yeah. Yes, everything is fine." James went over and sat next to Remus. He looked over at the letter. The signature at the bottom was from a Mr Lupin. James sighed and put a hand on Remus's shoulder.

"Remus I'm so sorry about your mum." Remus looked at him. James nodded to the letter. "Yasmin told me about your mum, look I'm sure that she'll be fine." James answered Remus's unspoken question. Remus stood violently. James frowned confused. "Remus?" Remus shook his head.

"No, you cannot know this. I told Yasmin in privacy. How could she betray me?" James stood also and shook his head this time.

"No Remus. You need a friend. Yasmin said you needed someone to talk to. That someone is me. She was right to tell me. Even though you should have told me." Remus looked at the letter and threw it on his bed.

"You can read it if you want. It's not exactly a personal type of letter." Remus said sharply. James read the letter over and over again. It wasn't the normal type of letter sent by a father to a son. James went to say something to Remus, but saw he wasn't in the room anymore.

"Remus?" He ran out and saw Remus striding up to Yasmin. She was watching him. James's eyes widened and he ran down the rest of the stairs. "Remus!" Remus went straight up to Yasmin and started to yell at her,

"How could you tell him? I told you because I thought I could trust you. Guess I was wrong!" James ran up to Remus and grabbed his arm. Remus glared at him.

"Remus, come on. Let's go back up stairs. Yasmin you too." Yasmin nodded, not speaking. Remus tried to struggle but James kept his hold and pulled him back up to their room. What they didn't see was Jess walk into the common room and make her way up to her room.

"Potter what the hell do you think you're doing?" Remus was fuming. James sat on his bed, Yasmin sat next to him. The pair watched as Remus smashed things up and yelled. Eventually he seemed to calm down. Yasmin cleared her throat, and then Remus slammed his fist into his bed post. The whole bed fell to one side when the bed post nearly collapsed. Yasmin screamed and James stood up in shock. Remus pulled his fist away and stared at it, he was also in shock. He turned to the pair and looked James in the eye. "Guess I didn't know my own strength." James smiled. Remus fell onto his bed defeated. Yasmin stood and joined James. "I'm sorry. Both of you. I'm just so angry with myself and my dad. I want my mum to get better." That's when Remus burst into tears. James and Yasmin moved at the same time and sat either side. They both comforted him not sure what to say.

Jess walked into her room and lay down onto her bed. She wanted to cry, but couldn't find it in her. Instead she shut her eyes. The next thing she knew she opened her eyes. She couldn't see anything. "Put your wand down! On the ground!" Jess tried to see who was yelling. Her vision was clouded she couldn't see who the voice was talking to. Then she swore it was Sirius who placed his wand on the ground and put his hands to his head, but the imagines went by so fast. The next thing she saw was Remus pointing a wand at something. He said something, but she couldn't hear it. Suddenly everything went black, "You have a choice to make Jessica. The future depends on you." It was the same cold voice. Jess screamed.

"Hey wake up!" Jess felt someone shove her. She opened her eyes and saw the face of Nancy. Nancy looked scared. "Good, you're awake. I thought you were having a fit. You started screaming." Jess sat up and rubbed her head. "I'll go find Lily." Jess nodded and lay back down. Keeping her eyes open this time, just in case.


	39. Daydream Believer

Hey guys, here's the next chapter. Hope you like it. Please review and if you have done, thank you. Enjoy! Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Daydream Believer

_Cheer up sleepy jean, oh what can it mean, to a daydream believer and a homecoming queen._

Lily heard the portrait hole shut behind her. Sighing she weighed up her options. Either she should go and talk to Sirius or should she just let him be and find out what her friends were hiding. Hearing faint footsteps Lily frowned. She followed them; they were leading away from her. She had a feeling it was the person she was looking for. Knowing she had no other choice she went after the footsteps. It took her to a corridor which she had only been done a few times. At the end, sitting on the window sill was Sirius. She stood there for a moment and just watched him. Sirius was staring out the window. Lily breathed and looked to the floor. How was she meant to sort this out? "I know you're there." Sirius spoke very gently. Lily was sure he knew it wasn't her. She walked over to him at a steady pace. Sirius didn't turn. Lily stood; she didn't touch him or sit next to him, she wasn't exactly sure what she was meant to do. "What do you want?" Sirius asked, calmly. Lily breathed out slowly.

"To help you." When she spoke Sirius turned in surprise. She smiled at him, hoping he would believe her.

"Lily." Lily nodded as he said her name. "Out of everyone to come to find me, I didn't think it would be you." This was when Lily sat. Sirius didn't look at her. "Shouldn't you be comforting Jessica or something?" Lily frowned. "She's more important than me to you and don't try and deny it." Lily picked out the venom in Sirius's calm voice. Surprisingly she was hurt by the venom.

"Sirius, what happened?" She asked slowly, not wanting him to take it the wrong way. He shook his head.

"I don't know." Lily's frown deepened. "I guess she thought something which I couldn't see. I thought we were a good couple. Apparently not." Lily shook her head and rolled her eyes. Sirius really was out of it.

"Sirius, how could you think you were being a good couple?" Sirius stood and turned sharply to look at her.

"What do you mean by that?" All calm in his voice had disappeared.

"Sirius, my god! You basically ignored Jess. You were only together a week! You could have tried a bit harder." Lily spoke sharply. Sirius laughed.

"She could have tried." Lily stood up angrily.

"She did!" Lily yelled. Sirius shook his head and laughed once more bitterly.

"I don't care Lily. Why don't you just run along back to James? It's not like your relationship means anything! James maybe 'in love' with you now, but I doubt it will last very long. There are some things you don't know about James Potter! Because underneath it all James is just like me, another pure blooded pig headed boy. Isn't that what you used to call him? Isn't that how you used to feel about him?" Sirius said loudly. Lily was so angry she reached up and slapped him round the face. Sirius touched his cheek.

"You know what Sirius? I thought that you being with Jess might have changed you, but no! You're just like you've always been. I don't know what Jess ever saw in you and if you ever hurt her again, I'll hurt you." She said it very slowly and Sirius knew she was threatening him. Sirius said nothing else to her and as Lily had nothing left to say to him she walked away.

Lily was furious. She wanted to hit something. Instead she heard her name, "Lily!" She turned and saw Nancy running towards her. "Lily, Jess needs you." Lily nodded and followed Nancy back into the common room. Jess was sitting in an armchair by now. She was on her own; Lily could tell she was thinking deeply because she was staring at the fire. Lily touched Nancy's shoulder. Nancy smiled, "I helped her down, she had a nightmare." Lily nodded and went to go over to her, Nancy held her back. "I heard about her and Sirius, tell her I'm sorry." Lily nodded and returned the smile.

"I will, thanks Nancy." Nancy nodded and left the two. Lily sat opposite Jess, who snapped out of her gaze and looked at Lily, she smiled.

"Hey Lily." Lily smiled shortly. She was about to ask Jess if she was alright when Jess shook her head and waved her hand, "I'm fine and I had a reason to do what I did." Lily nodded.

"I know. I had a word with Sirius just now. He's a jerk. He has always been a jerk. I'm sorry Jess, but it's true. I have no idea why you went out with him." Jess looked at her; Lily saw something in her eyes.

"Because I have strong feelings for him Lily. I just don't want to feel them right now. He has to decide what he wants and right now, I don't think he wants me." Jess smiled sadly. Lily nodded. She knew she could never understand what Jess was feeling right now and she didn't want to, but she had to be there for Jess no matter what. "I don't mind, I just have a feeling that the next few weeks are going to be hard. I think Sirius is going to try to make me feel what I don't want to feel. But no worries Lily," She smiled brightly and put on a brave voice, "I believe in daydreams and Sirius certainly won't be in mine. I will be brave and put on a brave face!" Lily laughed quietly at Jess. But she was glad Jess had it in her to make a joke. It was short lived. Remus, Yasmin and James walked in. James smiled at the two girls.

"How are my lovely ladies?" He was looking particularly at Jess. Who smiled and pulled a face. "You'll be fine. We'll help you through it." Remus frowned not knowing what was going on. James saw this and cleared his throat. "Oh right, Remus you don't know. Jess broke up with Sirius over the matter of, well many things." Remus looked at James then at Jess, who waved and smiled. Remus shook his head.

"How could you do that?" He asked. Jess sat backwards.

"What do you mean?" Jess asked confused with Remus's question. "I have good reasons." Remus laughed and stepped away from the group.

"Good reasons? Whatever Jess! I think you're just being selfish! You need to grow up! Couldn't you see that Sirius was only trying to take things slow? He was being sensible. You just can't think that it's you in the wrong, you have to blame someone else." He didn't yell at her, which in Jess's opinion made it worse. He spoke sharply and full of power. Jess sat there not knowing what she was meant to do or say. Remus said one last thing, "Jess, I thought you might have been able to change him, guess I was wrong, I was so wrong about you. Sirius has been right about you since day one, you're pathetically weak. Not to mention pathetic." He shook his head one last thing and walked out of the common room, to find Sirius James guessed. Jess looked to the floor.

"God, I can't believe that." James said in disbelief. He was shocked at Remus's behaviour. He had never seen Remus like that before.

"I can, he's right. I don't believe in myself any more James, but I do believe in what I did." Jess said, getting stronger as she spoke. Lily looked up at her, Yasmin was still staring at the portrait hole in which Remus had just left, she saw someone else leave, but wasn't paying real attention to whom it had been.

Sirius was still sitting on the window sill, his mind on nothing. He didn't want to think. He was suddenly distracted by loud footsteps. He turned his head. "How could you be such a dickhead?" He frowned, that was Nancy Simpson's voice. Who was she yelling at this time? Sirius, being curious stood and went to walk around the corner. Hearing the other voice in the argument froze Sirius in his steps.

"Why do you care so much Nancy? This has nothing to do with you!" Sirius stepped to the corner and peered round. Remus? Why was he arguing with Nancy?

"Actually I think it does. You upset one of my roommates, I know me and Rhodes haven't really gotten on in the past, but we're becoming nicer to each other and you were a right prick to her. I thought you were a good guy Lupin." Remus threw his hands in the air,

"Yeah, that's me. Always the good guy. Maybe I don't want to be the good guy anymore. And Jess made her choice. She hurt Sirius..." Nancy interrupted him before he could finish.

"Because Sirius hurt her. How can you doubt that Sirius is the bad guy in this?" Remus stepped forwards threatening Nancy. But Sirius was surprised to see her stand her ground.

"Because Sirius is my friend. I believe in him. Jess is just being selfish." Nancy nodded.

"Yep, and good for her. My advice is that in a relationship that starts to go wrong you think of yourself. So you don't get hurt." Sirius heard her voice calm as she spoke this. Remus also appeared to be shocked by her words. "That's what I do. That's what Jess did. It's what every smart girl does. No one wants to get hurt, do you?" Remus shook his head. "Well, then maybe you should think about it yourself. I could always see that Jess treasured the relationship she had with you. It's different to the one she has with James or the one she had with Sirius." Remus looked guilty now, Sirius felt the same way. Nancy seemed to know what she was doing. "Think about Lup-Remus." She smiled a small smile at Remus, then looked over her shoulder and stared Sirius straight in the eye. Sirius thought she was going to say something to him, but instead she simply turned and walked away. Sirius turned back round the corner so Remus didn't see him. He thought about what Nancy had said. So Jess had just been looking out for herself? Great, he knew he had it right. And Remus had stood up for him, wow, he was amazed by that. He would of thought that Remus would take Jess's side. Thinking of Jess made him angry. He shouldn't be angry but he felt so pissed at her. He wanted to hurt her, just as she had hurt him.


	40. Hurt

Hey guys, here's the next chapter. Hope you like it. Thank you to all who have reviewed, please continue. You know how much I love to hear from you all. Read on! Review and smile.

: ) Jwebby

* * *

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

Hurt

_Oh, I'm sorry for, blaming you for everything I just couldn't do. And I've hurt myself by hurting you._

Jess woke that morning and for the first time in a while relaxed. From what she remembered she had had a dreamless night. That was the only thing that made her happy at the moment. Slowly she remembered yesterday. The smile vanished. She had broken up with Sirius, she had had a dream which had made her so scared for some reason she had been screaming and Remus had yelled at her for being selfish. God, her life was awful. But every time she tried to change she just made things worse. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind. Somehow she found it incredibly difficult. Instead Jess decided to take a cold shower.

Lily woke at the sound of the shower. She blinked several times and then sat up. She saw Jess's bed was empty and knew it was her in the shower. She rubbed her eyes and also thought about all the things Jess had been through this year. It had been totally unfair to her. Jess needed something in her life to cheer her up. But right now, she knew there was no way she could ever make Jess happy. But Lily hoped that Jess wouldn't become depressed or do anything stupid. She didn't have to worry though; it wasn't Jess who was going to do something stupid; it was Sirius.

When Jess got out of the shower and ready for lessons Lily and Yasmin were already ready. Lily threw a smile at Jess, Yasmin tried to smile, but knew it was hopeless. "Hey Jess. Ready to go?" Jess nodded.

"Yep I am. Let's go eat and then I'll be ready to learn for the rest of the day." Jess smiled widely. Yasmin and Lily exchanged a look when Jess left. Nancy had also seen this and sat up in her bed shaking her head. Jess however didn't see any of this.

Lily, Yasmin and Jess all knew something was wrong when the three of them walked into the great hall. Because every head looked at them and started whispering. Jess frowned and stared around at the eyes glancing at them. Yasmin leant forward and whispered in Jess's ear. "Why is everyone staring at us?" Jess shrugged and took a seat right at the end of the Gryffindor table. Lily and Yasmin joined her. A group of Ravenclaw girls walked past, they stopped and turned to look at the three of them. Fiona the girl who had a huge crush on Sirius stepped forward and smiled at Jess.

"Is it true?" Jess frowned as did Lily and Yasmin.

"Is what true?" Yasmin asked. Fiona laughed snidely.

"That the only reason you went out with Sirius is because you're in love with James?" Jess's face dropped and she went a little red. She looked at Lily and Yasmin who were also frowning and glaring at Fiona. Yasmin stood up and faced Fiona.

"Listen to me, whatever shit you've heard about Jess isn't true. You need to get a fucking life and leave my friends alone." Fiona stepped backwards not wanting to get in Yasmin's face. Instead she looked around glared at Jess and said very loudly to her friends,

"I knew it wasn't going to last. Besides you can totally see she's in love with James, she spends more time with him then she ever did with Sirius." She spun on her heel and walked away, while Lily stood and held Yasmin back.

"Let her go Yas." Yasmin sat back down and growled.

"That little bitch. She's just sore because Sirius doesn't like her." Jess drank her juice and slammed the glass down on the table and smiled. Yasmin stared in shock at Jess's smile. "Why are you smiling?" Jess stood up and picked up her bag.

"I don't care what she says. It's not true and as long as I know that it doesn't matter." Someone cleared their throat behind her. Jess turned and saw James standing there. Jess smiled, "What's wrong James?" She asked this because his face was confused.

"I just overheard someone saying you liked me?!" Jess laughed nervously.

"Just rumours James. Don't worry about it." James wasn't sure, but he was about to say that he knew that she never liked him. When another voice spoke,

"That's a lie Jess and you know it." Jess glared at Sirius, who stood there with his arms crossed staring at them. "You were totally crushing on James. You always have done. Remember when you told me? And I know that Lily and Yasmin both know. I think Remus might know as well, though I'm not sure." James turned back to Jess, who was fuming. Yasmin jumped over the table and punched Sirius in the nose.

"Why do you always have to hurt Jess? God, spreading stupid rumours for revenge!" Yasmin spoke harshly to Sirius. Sirius shrugged and walked away. He past Remus and Nancy as he left the great hall. Remus looked up after hearing everything Sirius has just said. He frowned and saw Jess's face. She sighed and walked out. Remus followed her. Nancy stared at the group,

"God, you lot are really screwed up!" James, Yasmin and Lily watched her walk to her own friends in surprise.

"Jess stop!" Jess stopped on the stair and turned to face Remus. He ran up to her. "Look, I'm sorry. I thought that you were the one in the wrong but I guess not." Jess rolled her eyes.

"Whatever Remus I don't care. Just give up trying to fix things. You yelled at me. You didn't even think about my side of the story did you?" Jess pushed him into the wall. "You think I'm immature and selfish. Well you know what, maybe I will be selfish! Leave me alone, I don't care what you have to say anymore Remus." Remus touched her arm.

"Jess, I was wrong. I was worrying about other things, my mum is ill and I was angry. I took it out on you and I didn't mean it." Remus said honestly. Jess put her arms down and nodded.

"Yeah, ok. I'm sorry Remus. I just need some time and right now I want to hurt Sirius." Remus looked over her shoulder. Jess followed his gaze. Jess glared at Sirius, who was chatting up some girl, but when Jess took the few steps towards them saw that girl was Fiona. Remus knew what she was about to do before he could stop her. Jess tapped Sirius on the shoulder and when he turned Jess punched him round the nose, which when the fist collided with his nose it cracked very loudly. Fiona screamed. Sirius bent over, his nose bleeding. Loud footsteps were heard behind them.

"Oh my god! Miss Rhodes! Detention!" Professor McGonagall yelled at Jess as she helped Sirius down the stairs to the hospital wing. Jess simply shrugged and walked to her first lesson of the day.


	41. Where My Heart Will Take Me

Here's the next chapter guys. Hope you like it. Please review, I really want to know what all of you who read this have to say. Thank you. Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Where My Heart Will Take Me

_Cause I've got faith of the heart, I'm going where my heart will take me. I've got faith to believe I can do anything._

Word got round fast that Jess had hit Sirius. For some reason, Jess didn't look as though she cared about the looks she was getting from several people. In fact she seemed fine with the fact that most of the population of Hogwarts was talking about her behind her back. The Gryffindors weren't happy with her because not only had she received detention for two weeks, every night she had also lost them fifty points for assaulting another student. James was surprised that she hadn't really kept her head down; she was acting as though it was an everyday thing. This scared James, what was Jess going to do next? He had silently made the choice of keeping an eye on her, making her keep out of trouble. Sirius hadn't been seen all day. The word was that his nose was beyond repair, which in most people's opinion was bullshit. James guessed the reason was his pride had been damaged. Not that James cared at the moment. He had no idea what was going through his best friends head at the moment, but it was making him nervous thinking about what Sirius might do to Jess because of this. James looked round at everyone scribbling notes down. He was sitting in History of Magic, not even bothering to pretend to listen to what Professor Binns was gambling about. Instead he was trying to figure out what was going through all of his friend's heads. He was sitting behind Lily. She was writing quickly, he watched her for a moment. He knew that she was worried about Jess and in her own way Sirius as well. But he also knew that she would not get involved unless something really bad happened. He knew her mind was totally on whatever Binns was talking about, that was one of the reasons why he loved her so much. And he did love her; he wouldn't dare tell anyone the extent of his feelings towards Lily. But he knew that he was totally head over heels in love with her.

He sighed as he turned his gaze to the right of Lily. Yasmin sat there chewing her quill. James had never known what to think of Yasmin. She was nothing like anyone else. James knew she was Muggleborn and that she hadn't freaked out about being a witch like Lily because over the years he had sat next to her in lessons. She was always willing to spring up a conversation, but he had also noticed how shy she could be. Yasmin had a bit of a fiery temper as well. He never wanted to have her yell in his face, it looked scary. James had no idea what she was thinking about mostly because he didn't know her well enough. But the one person James knew he could trust to do the right thing was Yasmin, for some reason she always put others first.

He moved his eyes to the boy sleeping next to him. Peter. Poor Peter. He was never involved in the drama. And that was the reason James sometimes and very rarely sometimes envied Peter. People would think he was crazy if he said that aloud, but to him James knew that it was true. Peter never seemed to have any worries either. He would drift from moment to moment with no worry or regret of what could happen. In James's eyes he was just living in each moment. And oh, how James dreamed about being like that.

James breathed out slowly and then his gaze hit the other boy next to him. Remus Lupin. James knew Remus had many problems. He was a werewolf, which he constantly worried about. Also Remus's home life wasn't perfect. In fact it was bad. James didn't really know that much about Remus's home life, he never spoke about it. In all the years James had known him, Remus had only mentioned briefly the fact that he didn't get on with his dad at all. Or it was his dad who didn't like him, James wasn't really sure. And now Remus's mum was ill and Jess was mad with him. James saw that Remus had only written a few words, which was unusual for Remus, he normal was writing so fast you couldn't see his hand.

The last person he looked at was Jess. She was writing notes, James's eyes widened. Jess never concentrated in this lesson. But then James knew she needed a distraction. Maybe that was what he needed. So for the first time since first year he turned his attention to Professor Binns and started to write notes.

Jess got the note to meet Professor McGonagall at six that night in her classroom. She simply rolled her eyes at the note and threw it in the nearest bin. But at six she said bye to Lily and Yasmin and made her way to Professor McGonagall's classroom. She found the door open when she arrived. Taking a deep breath in she took the final steps into the room. She was surprised to find it already had someone else in it. She frowned but took no cue to talk to the other person. Instead she sat on a desk near the front, not looking at the other occupant. Professor McGonagall who had heard Jess's footsteps, walked in from her office. "Ah, Jessica you're here. Please take a seat on a chair thank you." Jess slid into the chair at the table. Professor McGonagall walked to the back of the classroom and stood in the doorway. "I have a staff meeting I'll be back in an hour and a half. In the meanwhile you two will stay in here and keep quiet. I shall lock you in." Jess raised her eyebrows. This was her detention? McGonagall was having a laugh. Her feelings must have displayed themselves on her face because Professor McGonagall smiled and said, "Yes, this is your punishment Miss Rhodes. But only for today. I have found other jobs you can do for your other detentions, so don't get used to this. I'll be back in an hour and a half." That was all she said. Jess turned back to the front, she heard Professor McGonagall close the door but no keys in a lock. She guessed the professor had made sure that they wouldn't get out.

They had been sitting in silence for twenty minutes before Jess heard him clear his throat. "Um, Jess right?" Jess rolled her eyes and turned to face him. It hurt to look at him.

"Yeah, but you already knew that didn't you? We've met before Regulus." Jess stared into the dark eyes which reminded her so much of his brother. Her tone was rather cold and she could see it made Regulus uncomfortable. Seeing the look on his face, she felt bad for upsetting him. "I'm sorry. It's just everything I've been through with Sirius; it's confusing as you look so much like him." Regulus nodded. Jess sighed. "So, why you in here?" Regulus looked at her when she asked him a question.

"Same reason as you." Jess frowned, had Regulus also hit Sirius? Regulus saw she was confused and laughed. "I meant I got a fight as well. But not with my brother." The last part was spoken with a bit of distrust. Jess was concerned about this. Did Regulus not trust her? Or was it Sirius he had a problem with? "It wasn't too bad, I won. But got put in detention for winning." Jess smiled. Regulus returned to smile. "It's not like I regret doing it, I just regret getting caught. I don't plan on getting caught next time." Jess laughed at this and nodded.

"Totally agree with you mate." Jess had seen Regulus around school before; he was always with other Slytherins. She had never seen him smile before. The last time they had met she had just stared at him. "Man, we're great at this conversation thing aren't we?" Regulus laughed. Jess smiled brightly at him.

"Yeah, maybe we should start from the beginning." Jess frowned unsure what he meant. "I mean, hi, I'm Regulus Black my brother is the prick who is Sirius Black. The guy you smacked round the face!" Jess laughed. "I don't normally introduce myself like that." Jess nodded.

"I guessed. When we met, I remember you were rather cold to the fact that you were Sirius's brother." Regulus sighed and looked at the floor.

"I guess, it's hard to be the brother of the guy who is liked by everyone in the school. And people normally don't bother with me because I'm just another Black to them. Sirius is the one who broke the system. He got put in Gryffindor and he made friends with people like James Potter. Me, I'm just another clone." Jess suddenly felt sorry for the boy in front of her. But she also thought he was very good looking. From where she was sitting, she even thought he might even be better looking than Sirius. He caught her stare and smiled, "What do you find so interesting?" Jess smiled softly back at him.

"You." Regulus's smiled brightened. "You're different to Sirius, but I don't think in a bad way. In fact I think you're better then Sirius. I mean you don't go around messing everything up. Or hurting people for enjoyment." Regulus's face became serious at this.

"That's not true. I've hurt people." He whispered slowly. Jess stood up and sat next to him and put her arm around him.

"We all hurt people Regulus. But we just have to look forward. There's nothing else we can do. I hurt Sirius. I'm not proud of it." Regulus put his arm around her as well. They were silent for a few minutes. Both lost in their own thoughts. Jess was thinking about how comfortable it felt in Regulus's arms. She knew from the moment he had smiled at her that she was attracted to him. Not in the same way as she was to Sirius. But there was an attraction there. Was this what her heart was actually saying? That she was meant to be with Regulus not Sirius? Was Regulus the person her heart was taking her to? Was this moment where her heart was taking her? She was snapped out of her thoughts by Regulus asking a question.

"Jess, do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me?" She looked up at him, but didn't remove her arm. He was staring straight into her eyes. She smiled.

"Yeah, sure. I'd love to go to Hogsmeade with you." Regulus grinned.

An hour later Regulus and Jess left the classroom arm over shoulder and laughing. They walked down the corridor to the entrance hall. Regulus was a great guy in Jess's opinion. The last hour had been the best hour for her in the last week. Until they turned to the stairs and saw a sight which made them both gag. Regulus spoke first. "Watch out I think I'm gonna puke!" The pair pulled apart. Fiona, the girl who was looking at them, jaw dropped at the sight of them. Jess knew Sirius was rolling his eyes. He turned around acting all cool in front of Fiona,

"What do you want you little.....?" He stopped speaking when he saw Jess. The way Regulus and Jess were standing made him literally stop breathing. Jess smiled feeling uncomfortable. Regulus on the other hand smirked.

"How's the jaw big brother?" Sirius's face turned a shade of pinky purple. Jess knew that if they didn't get out of there, there'd be another fight.

"This is where I depart Regulus." She detangled herself from him and smiled. "I'll meet you here Saturday at around nine?" Regulus smiled for real and nodded,

"Can't wait." He reached down and kissed her on the cheek. He threw a glare at Sirius then walked away. Jess felt as though she was floating after he kissed her. She smiled at Fiona and Sirius and walked up the stairs. She was about to turn the corner when she heard Sirius call her name.

"Jess! Wait, I have to talk to you!" He sounded urgent. She stopped smiled at him as he ran towards her. "You have to think about hanging out with Regulus." Jess knew he would have something to say on the subject. But she was on a high, so she didn't care.

"Sirius, it's my choice. Look no worries. I'll be fine. Relax. It's me; I know what I'm doing." She touched his cheek and looked him straight in the eye, "Honestly no worries." She smacked his cheek lightly, laughed and walked away. Sirius yelled after her,

"Why are you meeting him Saturday?" Jess turned, walking backwards called back,

"Going to Hogsmeade with him." Sirius watched her skip off. What did this mean? How could she think about going out with Regulus? Sirius didn't know what to think or say, so he simply shrugged and tried to forget it. Which was a hell of a lot harder then he could have ever thought.


	42. It's Tricky

Hey people! Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. I am really enjoying writing this story; I hope you are enjoying reading it. Please review with feedback! Thanks to all of you. Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

It's Tricky

_It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time, it's tricky._

Jess's smile faulted at the sight of Lily and Yasmin's faces. She knew they weren't going to be happy when she told them about her date with Regulus Black. But she hoped they would at least act happy for her. They exchanged a short look then Yasmin cleared her throat. "Well, to be honest with you Jess, I think it's a bad idea. But if you know what you're doing, ok." Jess's smiled brightened when Lily nodded. Lily wasn't ready to say anything because she disagreed with Jess's choice totally. But she had seen how happy Jess was and decided to keep her mouth shut.

The morning of the Saturday of the Hogsmeade trip Jess was buzzing. She was nervous about today. She had no idea why, she was going out with a boy who was one in Slytherin and who was also younger than her. The point that he was Sirius's brother didn't cross her mind until he cornered her before breakfast. She smiled sweetly at him, not wanting to upset herself today. "Hey Sirius. Are you going to Hogsmeade?" Sirius didn't reply. Instead he stared at her, as though to stare right through her, or to find something in her eyes. Jess wasn't sure but it was freaking her out a little. "Sirius? Hello, anyone in there?" She waved her hand in front of his eyes.

"I hope you know what you're doing Jess." Jess frowned about to ask what he was going on about. But he cut her up, "Don't say you don't know what I'm talking about. I hope you know what you're doing today with Regulus. Because I'm going to warn you he isn't a good guy." Jess smiled at his warning.

"Thank you for telling me that. But Sirius, it's no worry of yours. I know what I'm doing and Regulus doesn't seem like a bad guy. So get over it." Jess walked around him. Sirius shook his head and was about to go after her when a hand held him back.

"Don't mate. I'll do it." Sirius watched James also run around him. "Jess!" Jess stopped and smiled at James. "So, I heard you're going to Hogsmeade with Regulus?" Jess rolled her eyes.

"I guessed you would have talked to Sirius. You guys worry way too much. I'm fine, and I know what I'm doing." James nodded.

"I know. You always know what you're doing. I'm just saying, Sirius is right about this one. Regulus isn't the greatest of people. I'm not going to say another word against him." Jess smiled. She knew James or any of her friends agreed with what she was doing, she was kinda flattered by how much they cared about her. But she had this covered. They walked to the great hall talking about nothing important, but they both found it nice to be able to have some time to talk to each other. James sighed, "Jess, I have to ask." Jess nodded intrigued about what James had to ask. "When are you going to start to talk to Remus again?" Jess looked down at the floor ahead of her. She hadn't really thought about Remus. She did miss him. She really missed him. But she knew she had hurt him.

"It's tricky James. I don't know. I will though. I promise you that. I miss him." James smiled grateful at her answer. "I did say sorry to him. But I got distracted." James nodded, knowing what the distraction had been. They reached the entrance hall and there stood Regulus. Jess smiled at the sight of him. He looked so much like Sirius, but Jess could tell it wasn't him. Regulus spotted her and grinned. Jess turned to James, "I'll see you later James." James waved at her as she went to meet Regulus.

Jess laughed. She was having such a great time. Regulus was funny and sweet. It had been snowing recently so Jess was hugging her coat to her. Regulus had taken her all round Hogsmeade. Jess shook her head at what he was saying, "You can't rap. I bet you, you can't." Jess looked hurt at this.

"I can." She started to prove it, "This beat is my recital, I think it's very vital, to rock a rhyme, that's right on time, it's tricky!" Regulus laughed at her rapping. Jess laughed with him. Regulus's laughing suddenly died down. Jess looked up and rolled her eyes. Sirius and Fiona were walking towards them. Jess grabbed Regulus by the arm. Regulus looked down at her and she smiled shyly up at him. She suddenly realised how tall he was. "You know Regulus, you're really tall." Regulus laughed again. Jess shrugged and smiled cheerfully. Sirius was right near them now and Jess could feel her hands getting sweaty. Fiona laughed loudly. Jess narrowed her eyes at her. She decided to take the high road. As they past Jess spoke out to Sirius, "Hey Sirius." He stopped surprised Jess had talked to him. Fiona looked at her as though she was some kind of dirt on her shoe then up at Regulus. Her eyes widened. "How's your day going?" Jess said politely.

"Fine. Yours?" Short and sweet hey Sirius, Jess thought to herself. Jess smiled and looked up at Regulus. He wasn't looking at her or Sirius.

"Great, I'm having a really good time." Regulus turned his head down at her when she said that. She smiled sincerely at him. Sirius saw this and felt angry at his brother for some reason. He grabbed Fiona round the waist making her giggle.

"Yeah, I know what you mean Jess." He crashed his lips down on Fiona's. Jess couldn't think at that moment. Watching Sirius do that hit her hard. And she didn't know why she cared less. Regulus saw her staring and pulled her away. He was disgusted at his brother's actions. He knew Jess still liked Sirius, he would have to be blind not notice. But he also knew he had a chance with Jess by the way she looked at him. He pulled her into the Three Broomsticks. She was silent as Regulus led her to a table. He ordered two Butterbeers and then let Jess calm down. She smiled at him.

"I'm sorry Regulus, I ruined our day. I should have just walked past him." Regulus shook his head.

"Then you would have felt bad about not saying anything to him. You were only being polite. It's Sirius who should be feeling bad." Jess smiled reassured by Regulus's good nature. She couldn't see why James and Sirius had warned her about him. They sat there for a while just talking about nothing and everything. Jess had calmed down. "So, we're on a date right?" Regulus asked Jess bravely. Jess was shocked by the question.

"I guess so, why?" Jess asked confused by this sudden change of subject.

"Well, if we're on a date, I haven't gotten to kiss you yet." It was a bold shot for Regulus. But Jess simply closed the gap between them at the same time as Regulus.


	43. Wait A Minute

Hey guys, I'm really sorry I didn't update yesterday, I was out and didn't get a chance to update. So here is the next chapter. It's short and sweet I'm afraid. Hope you like anyway. Thanks everyone, review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Wait a Minute

_Minding my business, I was doing my dance. Got my attention, so I gave him a chance. (Wait a minute)_

Jess closed the gap between them at the same time as Regulus. Their lips met at the same time. Jess couldn't believe how wonderful kissing Regulus felt. She deepened the kiss and felt Regulus smile into the kiss and respond. Someone clearing their throat make Jess and Regulus break apart. A waitress stood there looking very uncomfortable, she was holding their drinks. Jess felt herself go bright red. Regulus didn't seem to be affected at all; he reached over for the Butterbeers and flashed a dazzling smile at the waitress. Jess could see how much effect Regulus smile had the on the waitress because she too went red and moved away. Jess remembered how Sirius also had the same effect on women as Regulus seemed to have. He gave her the drink in his right hand. She drank a little and watched Regulus. He seemed to be so happy. "So, was that ok?" Jess snapped out of her thought when Regulus asked her a question. She had to think about what he was talking about for a moment, then she felt silly when she realised he was talking about the kiss.

"Oh. Yeah, sure why?" Regulus looked at the table, Jess opened her mouth. "That wasn't your first real kiss was it Regulus?" Regulus looked up at her and smiled.

"No, but it was the first one when I was actually kissing a girl for the right reason. And I think I'm gonna do it again." He leant forward; Jess smiled expecting his lips to meet hers. But they never made it. This was because a hand stopped him. Regulus looked up at the same time as Jess into the wild eyes of Sirius. Jess felt the urge to roll her eyes, but she was actually a little scared of Sirius at the moment. He looked very threatening. Regulus also looked a little frightened of his brother. Sirius didn't say anything, he kept his cool. He didn't let go of Regulus when he directed him out of the pub, Jess sat there for a moment watching the two brothers' make their way to door. She was very surprised that they weren't making a scene in the bar. Then catching Fiona's eyes, she suddenly knew what Sirius was going to do. Fiona smiled nastily at Jess. Jess got up and ran out of the door. She felt as though she was moving in slow motion. When she got outside she heard someone hit a wall. Jess skidded round the corner. Sirius was lying on the floor. Jess looked up at Regulus; he was staring at his own hands, as though he didn't know what he had just done. Sirius stood and saw Jess standing there. "Look, stay away from Jess!" He yelled at Regulus, who looked up at him. Sirius went to walk to Jess, "She doesn't need you, you're just trouble Regulus. I'm sorry, but Jess deserves more than us." Regulus seemed to just light up at that, and not in a good way.

"Wait a minute, you mean she doesn't deserve you! You hurt her Sirius, and now you're trying to blame me for your mistakes!" Jess couldn't think, she was rooted to the ground watching them argue. "I'm sorry if you can't sit and watch us kiss, but it's what you do with your girlfriends, so get over yourself!" Sirius looked up at Jess, who just stared back. "Sirius, you had your chance, so back off!" Regulus wasn't yelling really now, Instead of saying anything Jess just kept on staring into Sirius's eyes, it was as if he was looking for something. "Just because you hurt her Sirius, you think I'm going to hurt her like you did!" Jess flinched at Regulus's words. Sirius saw this and before Regulus could say anything else he turned and punched Regulus hard around the face. Regulus, who hadn't expected the blow, fell on the cold ground. Jess gasped and ran forward. She fell to her knees at Regulus's side.

"Regulus? Are you alright?" She turned with tears in her eyes at Sirius. "Are you happy now? Are you happy about ruining my day? God, leave me the fuck alone!" She turned back to see if Regulus was alright. He was groaning and his eyes opened. He looked at Jess who smiled. "Hey, careful now!" He looked behind her and looked around.

"Where did Sirius go?" Jess also looked around. Sirius had left; she hadn't even heard him leave. She sniffed and helped Regulus up. Regulus caught her in his arms. "Thank you." Jess cried silently into his shoulder thinking about everything the Black's had just argued about, but she had no idea who she wanted to take sides with.


	44. He Wasn't

Hey guys, next chapter. Thanks to all of you who have read and reviewed, continue please. ;) Review with a smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

He Wasn't

_Sitting on the bed alone, staring at the phone. He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought no._

The whole of Hogwarts was buzzing with the new gossip. The news was Jessica Rhodes; former girlfriend of Sirius Black was now dating his younger Slytherin brother Regulus. Remus sighed as he walked past a load of Hufflepuff first years giggling about it. Remus walked round the corner and saw the other three marauders sitting on the cold steps. It was the Sunday after the Hogsmeade trip so they had plenty of time to sort this all out. Remus sat next to James, who in turn was a step above Sirius and Peter. Peter was staring into space and James and Sirius were talking in hushed tones about something. "Guys, what's going on?" Remus asked the two. James turned to him and shook his head.

"Nothing. It doesn't matter anyway." Sirius rolled his eyes at James, Remus wasn't sure what they had been arguing about, but he was going to change the subject no matter what.

"Right. Well, I was just wondering if any you have actually talked to Jess since her little announcement yesterday?" James shook his head, not wanting to know what Remus was thinking. Sirius didn't look at Remus or James; instead he kept his gaze on the horizon. Remus exchanged a glance with James. "Sirius?" Sirius looked up slowly. He stared into Remus's questioning eyes knowing he had no other choice but to answer.

"Yeah, I have talked to Jess." Remus frowned. Sirius huffed out a breath irritated. "Ok, fine it wasn't Jess who I talked to. Not really. She was there, it was Regulus. And I didn't really talk to him, more yell at him." James sighed and shut his eyes, he out his hand on his forehead and shook his head. Remus rolled his eyes, knowing Sirius had done something like that. "Wait, don't judge me! He shoved me into a wall to start with and he yelled more than me!" Remus glared at Sirius, James knew that wasn't the end either. "Then after he was done yelling, well, he wasn't exactly done yelling, more I was tired of him yelling I punched him round the face." Remus groaned and shook his head and James looked at Sirius in disappointment. Sirius saw the look and found he couldn't bring himself to look at either of his friends. What he had done had been stupid, but at the time it had seemed like the right thing to do, right?

"Sirius, you're going to have to talk to Jess. There's nothing else you can do. She's going to be pissed at you and she needs to hear from you that you're sorry." Sirius nodded, but deep inside he didn't want to say sorry because he wasn't sorry, in fact he had wanted to hit Regulus ever since that time in the entrance hall when he had seen them arm in arm. Sirius looked up at James, who was watching him. James had caught him thinking that. James stood up, Remus frowned at him.

"I'll go. I haven't really talked to Jess. And I think she might respond better to me then you Padfoot, no offense." Sirius smiled and shook his head,

"None taken Prongs." Remus smiled at the use of their nicknames. Peter also stood up. The other three frowned at his actions. "Why so jumpy Wormtail?" Peter turned to them and shook his head,

"I'm not. I just have an essay I need to finish." With that he ran back up the steps, three sets of eyes following him.

"What was that about?" James shrugged at Sirius's question. Peter seemed a bit out of it lately, but then he was also in his own little world.

"Maybe he does have an essay to write. Anyway that's not the problem right now, Jess is. Remus do you where I can find her?" Remus nodded ashamedly.

"Yeah, I was talking to Lily and saw Jess in the library." Sirius sat up a step on the same one as Remus. "She didn't look at me twice so I left and came here." Sirius put a comforting hand on Remus's shoulder.

"It'll be alright. Jess'll forgive you mate, not so sure about me though. I think I've sealed my fate." Remus nodded. James left the two to bask in their own misery.

It took him five minutes to make it to the library. When he entered it the librarian's eyes widened. "Mister Potter, I didn't expect to see you in here, especially after last time." James flashed her a grin.

"Well, that punishment was given for me and Sirius not to come in here together. As you can see I am alone." The librarian didn't seem very impressed, but didn't say anything about his logic of thinking. James smiled and made his way to a table in the corner of the library where two girls were sitting in silence. He sneaked up on Jess, Lily was hiding behind a book opposite Jess, and so she didn't see James. James bashed his hands down on Jess's shoulders, "Hello there ladies." Jess yelped and jumped off of her chair. James giggled; Lily put her book down and shook her head at her boyfriend's behaviour. Jess on the other hand took the book she was reading and hit him round the arm.

"You're a right jerk James." James pouted at her.

"I'm sorry, I was just wondering if you wanted to take a trip to the kitchens, seeing as we haven't talked in a while." Jess put her book down exchanged a look with Lily and then nodded back at James.

"Ok then. You're right we haven't talked in a while." James grinned then glanced up at Lily. She looked proudly at him and blew him a kiss. His grin widened and he took Jess by the hand. "See you later Lily." Lily waved at the pair. When Jess looked back at her when they were at the door, she was back behind her book. "She's a one isn't she?" James smiled as they made their way to the kitchens.

"Yeah, but I love her." Jess nodded, she knew James was in love with Lily. Anyone could see it, Lily even knew. They made it to the kitchens and sat on two chairs in a secluded corner put there by the house elves. James took a swig of hot chocolate, (also brought to them by the house elves.) "So, how have you been?" Jess smiled at him blowing on her own hot chocolate.

"Great. Everything is perfect!" James looked at her seriously. Jess sighed, "Maybe things haven't been that great." James sat back not even having to ask a question to get Jess to open up. "Sirius is mad at me isn't he?" James frowned.

"Why do you think that?" Jess shrugged.

"I guess I thought because I like Regulus, Sirius is made at me. He seemed mad yesterday." James smiled; Jess frowned uncertain why James was smiling. "Why are you smiling? What is there to smile about?"

"Because Sirius thinks you aren't going to talk to him ever again because of what he did to Regulus." Jess looked at her drink instead at James when he said that in a strange tone. Jess was mad at Sirius for sticking his nose in her business. But he was trying to look out for her, but he did it in the wrong way. He always did. He made it seem like it was all about him.

"I am mad at him for hitting Regulus. But, I can't stay mad at him for long. I just want him to understand how much I actually do like Regulus." James sipped his drink. "And I'm fed up with people telling me Regulus is a bad guy. I just don't see it, he's been really nice. Except yesterday when he lashed out at Sirius, but that wasn't his fault. I don't understand why people think that." James downed his drink and put it down on the table.

"Listen Jess, you've got to understand that Regulus is in Slytherin for a reason." Jess started to frown, "I know you have heard this from everyone else, but just wait and listen to me. Regulus has made some bad mistakes. Believe me he isn't the good guy in this story. He'll hurt you, and not in the way Sirius did. Regulus gets angry very easily. He could hurt you and not realise he is doing it. Sirius has talked to him about getting some help, but he denies that he has any problems. Just be careful Jess, promise me that?" Jess stood up annoyed with James.

"Regulus can't have problems James, I don't believe it. When he shoved Sirius against the wall he looked so upset about it, like he didn't even know he'd done it..." Jess sat back down. "Oh my god, what am I going to do?" James shrugged.

"Talk to him, maybe it'll help. I don't know. I just thought you should know." Jess nodded then thought about Sirius's actions.

"Why did Sirius hit him then? If he knew Regulus has problems?" James shrugged and stood up.

"Come on, we should go." Jess nodded knowing what she needed to do. James saw her stall. "What's wrong Jess?" Jess looked him straight in the eye.

"About what Sirius said, about me liking you. It was true. I did like you. And I trusted Sirius with it. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone. I guess he wasn't what I planned, I thought he wouldn't tell." James pulled her into a hug.

"It's ok Jessie, we'll get through this. All of this. We always do." Jess smiled and together the pair of them made their way out of the kitchen, Jess knowing what she needed to do and James determined not to let anything happen to Jess. The both of them leaving an empty cup of hot chocolate on the side which was quickly cleaned up by a passing house elf.


	45. Heart Of Glass

Hey guys. Sorry I didn't update last night but I was busy. I don't think I'm going to be able to update everyday any more. :( Which is so not fair, but I'll try and do my best. Here's the next chapter, hope you like! Please review, I really want to hear what you have to say. Please!! Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Heart of Glass

_Once I had a love and it was a gas. Soon turned out had a heart of glass._

Jess lay on her bed thinking over everything her and James had talked about. She heard the door open and thought nothing of it. Lily sat next to her. "What you thinking about Jess?" Jess sat up and shrugged.

"Regulus mostly. James says he has... problems, like he has a heart of glass." Lily frowned. Jess shrugged again and stood up. "Do you think I should talk to him?" Lily looked at her, she was pretty sure Jess was talking to herself. Lily decided to answer anyway.

"If you really like, then yes. I think you should talk to him." Jess, who hadn't heard her nodded and turned to Lily.

"You know what; I'm going to talk to him. Thank for listening Lily." She turned on her heel leaving Lily sitting on her bed in shock and confusion.

Jess didn't stop once on her way to the dungeons. When she asked one of the Slytherins if Regulus was in their common room, he went and looked and told her he was out. Jess walked around for a while in a daze. Thinking about everything and anything. On her way back to the Gryffindor common room, after deciding to find Regulus tomorrow. She turned a corner and saw a group of Slytherins laughing at something. She frowned and walked up to them. She saw Regulus was there. She smiled and went to say hi. But the closer she got, she could hear what they were doing. "Look at her hair." They all laughed. Jess's eyes widened when she saw a little Hufflepuff girl in the middle of the group. She looked on the verge of tears. Jess shook her head, pissed.

"Awww, are you going to cry like the little mudblood you are?" The Hufflepuff burst into tears. Jess felt the anger well up inside her and before she knew it she was right next to them. They were all laughing and none of them had noticed her yet. Regulus spoke next making Jess's jaw drop,

"Look at her, what a pathetic mudblood, why don't you go back to where you belong? Your blood is dirty!" They laughed again and a large blond boy stood out to face the Hufflepuff girl.

"Shall we purify her blood?" That was it, Jess cracked. She pushed past the Slytherins in front of her and stood in front of the little girl.

"Why don't you back off jackass?" She spoke angrily at him. The blond boy looked over to Regulus and glared.

"Black, control your girlfriend, or I will." Regulus nodded and grabbed Jess by the arm. She ripped it out of his grasp and glared at the boy.

"I am not his property." She turned to the Hufflepuff girl. "Come on." She led her away from the crowd and whispered, "Run." The girl took her advice and went. Jess turned back to face the Slytherins with her wand out and ready. They were still standing in the same place, the blond boy pushed Regulus forward, and then the rest all left. Regulus walked quickly up to her and grabbed her roughly round the arm. "Hey, Regulus you're hurting me!" She told him, but he didn't let go. He pushed her into a classroom. Jess turned to face him but he smacked her. She landed on the floor. Regulus shut the door and locked it. Jess stood up. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Regulus walked up to her, Jess slapped him. "Regulus, I'm sorry. I think you have an anger problem!" Regulus didn't say anything; instead he pushed Jess onto a table. Jess suddenly felt incredibly scared. "Regulus, please, don't do this?!" She pleaded with him, but he didn't stop. Jess shut her eyes...


	46. Pieces Of Me

Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated for a while. I've been really busy lately. So here's the next part, it took me a long time to write this chapter, even though it's not that long. Hope you like it! Please review! Thank you to my faithful reviewers. Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Pieces of Me

_It's as if you know me better than I ever knew myself, I love how you can tell. All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me._

Jess shut her eyes and for a moment thought that her wishing the Regulus to stop had worked. She opened her eyes slowly to be met with a slap round the face. "Don't you dare close your eyes!" He turned around for a moment. Jess thought he was going to leave so she stood up, petrified. He muttered something at the door. Jess's fears came to life at that moment. He had cast a silence spell around the door. Jess started to back up. Regulus turned and saw her backing away from him. "Jess, my Jess. Come here." Jess knew it was an order, but she shook her head. Regulus's expression turned to annoyance. He waved his wand and Jess flew to the other side of the room through the air. She hit the wall hard. Falling to the floor Jess groaned. Her side was starting to hurt. She stood up holding her side. She was about to say something when she felt a sharp pain rush through her body. She screamed out loud. Regulus walked towards Jess, who was writhing with pain on the floor. "I'll stop when you obey Jess, my dear. Just say you'll obey me and it'll stop." Jess nodded in pain. The pain slowly stopped. Jess breathed deeply trying to get as much oxygen as she could. Regulus picked her up. Jess sighed as she looked at him. He smiled at her, but she had no smile for him. He smacked her round the face making her fall to the floor. Jess felt something hot on her face, she touched her mouth and looked at her hand. There was blood all over her hand. She glared up at Regulus. He kicked her in the stomach. "Why won't you understand?" Jess groaned as he aimed another kick at her. "You have to obey what I say Jess. It'll be better if you do." He spoke gently as he reached down and stroked her hair. Jess felt like crying, everything ached. He slowly got her to her feet. "Now, you have to be punished for disobeying me." Jess shook her head and spat blood on his face. Regulus looked pissed and punched her round the face, Jess heard something snap and an awful amount of pain come from her nose. Jess screamed out in pain, but Regulus held her up so she could fall. Instead he pushed her on top of a table. Jess went to shut her eyes but Regulus slapped her again. He undid her shirt and Jess screamed. She couldn't focus on anything as all her vision was clouded by tears. She heard him undo his shirt as well. She finally came to her senses and kicked him between his legs. He groaned with pain as Jess tried to push him off of her, but he grabbed her bra and pulled her off of the table as well. She landed on top of him then rolled off. She breathed when she felt the same sharp pain course through her body. She yelled out again. Soon the pain was all she could focus on and everything started to go black.

The next thing she saw was the door bang open. She heard a yell and a bang. She tried to stand, but was thrown down by a passing figure. She hit her arm which snapped. She went to yell out, but she couldn't hear anything. She felt as if she couldn't breathe, she started coughing. Jess tried to stand a hand touched her hand. "Jess?" She looked up and saw a mouth form her name. Thinking it was Regulus she tried to get away from him.

"Leave me alone!" she screamed at the figure. The hand moved closer to her. Jess started to move away but she tripped over her own feet and fell backwards hitting her head on the table. Everything went black.

Jess awoke. Looking around she saw Regulus. She backed up and banged into something, but was frozen so she didn't turn. Jess saw a flash of green light and Regulus fell on the ground. Jess jumped. A figure in a black cloak laughed a harsh cold laugh and turned to Jess. "Your turn soon Jessica." Jess shook her head; she felt strong arms around her. She tried to move but they kept her locked in a strong hold. She struggled more. The arms didn't move, but the figure did. It walked towards her. Jess shut her eyes, "Open your eyes." She obeyed and found herself in a classroom. She was frozen with fear; it was the same classroom she had just been in. She looked around expecting to see Regulus somewhere, but found she was alone. It was dark outside and Jess found she could walk towards the window. She looked outside and saw a rat run across the field, and then a huge black dog after both followed a huge ginger cat. Jess frowned. What the hell? She looked up and saw a huge skull across the sky. She gasped not knowing what it meant. She heard a yell and looked towards to the top of the castle a body was falling and hit the floor on the steps. Jess was shocked at the sight. She was sure she knew who that was, but couldn't really make it out. She blinked and reopened her eyes, she was in a maze. She looked around and saw a light haired boy run past, "Hey! Excuse me?!" He didn't stop running. Jess frowned, how rude, she thought. Looking around she couldn't see anyone anywhere. Jess sighed and started to walk to where the boy had run to. She suddenly stopped when she heard a rush of wind from behind her she turned and saw the bushes started to move. Jess's eyes widened when she realised that they were moving towards her. She turned on her heel and started to run. She wasn't looking where she was, so when she stopped she saw she was no longer in the maze. All around her was white. It was as if she was on the clouds, but she wasn't. a voice spoke gently to her, "Sleep Jess."

* * *

Sorry for not updating for a while. I'll try better this week but I've got some exams in the next few weeks. Please stick with me. Thanks to everyone. Jwebby


	47. How To Save A Life?

Hey guys. Next chapter here. Please keep reviewing, it makes me smile! Thank you if you do. Review with a smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

How to Save a Life

_I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life._

Jess's eyes slowly opened. A bright light was the first thing she saw. She blinked a few times for everything to come into focus. She was staring at a white ceiling, looking to the side she saw large windows with sunlight streaming through. She went to stretch but found one of her arms was in a cast. She found her legs were aching along with the rest of her body. She groaned and turned to look at the other side of her bed. She screamed. Sirius woke up at the sound of Jess screaming. He saw her yelling and pointing at him. "Jess? What's wrong?" But Jess didn't stop screaming at Sirius. Madam Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore came running towards them. Madam Pomfrey took Jess's hands,

"Jessica what's wrong?" Jess pointed at Sirius. Professor Dumbledore nodded understanding what was happening.

"Miss Rhodes, Jess this is not Regulus." Jess stopped yelling and struggling. She narrowed her eyes at Sirius. Sirius shrugged and smiled. Jess frowned.

"Sirius?" Sirius nodded and stood up.

"Yeah, it's me Jess." Jess let out the breath she had been holding and closed her eyes thankful. She opened them and looked at Professor Dumbledore.

"So, what happened to me?" Professor Dumbledore looked incredibly serious and exchanged a look with Sirius who also seemed serious and a little nervous. "Sir?" Jess asked again.

"Jess, Regulus attacked you. But we believe that he wasn't acting on his own accord." Jess frowned. "He was being controlled by someone. So what he tried to do to you, he didn't know he was doing them. We aren't sure who was controlling him, but just take note that it wasn't his fault." Jess nodded and looked at Sirius. He was staring at her, concerned. Professor Dumbledore saw this and nodded. "Jess how are you feeling?" Jess looked away from Sirius and up into Dumbledore's twinkling eyes.

"I'm feeling a bit... hurt." Sirius smiled at Jess's description. "Everything hurts I mean. How long am I going to be here?" Professor Dumbledore grinned at Jess's question and looked over at Madam Pomfrey, who frowned.

"We'll see." She glanced once more at Professor Dumbledore before walking off to her office. Professor Dumbledore smiled at Jess,

"Just rest up Jess." Then he too walked away leaving Jess and Sirius alone together. They sat in silence for a moment before Jess burst into giggles. Sirius wasn't exactly sure what was so funny. But after Jess saw his confused expression she just laughed even harder. Sirius saw this and couldn't help his mouth start to twitch. He sat and smiled for a moment before he also started to laugh. The pair of them sat there laughing incredibly hard, neither knowing what the other was laughing at, when a voice interrupted their fit of laughter.

"Well, what is so funny?" Jess stopped laughing for a moment to see James, Lily, Remus and Yasmin standing there watching them laugh. Sirius stopped laughing as well. Jess still had a huge smile on her face when Sirius looked a little more serious. James sat on the chair on the other side of Jess's bed. "So, honestly what were you laughing at? Cause I seem nothing funny here at all." Jess shook her head at him and then looked at Sirius.

"We weren't laughing at anything and I know it's not funny. I just don't want to be upset all the time." Sirius nodded at what she said. Jess turned to James and Lily. "So anything interesting happen?" James shook his head and put his feet up on her bed.

"Nope. The whole school is buzzing though. About what happen to you. Let's just say the rumours aren't pretty." James said slowly and with a weird face making Jess's insides start to hurt. She was nervous. What were people saying? Jess looked up at Lily who wouldn't meet her eyes. Remus cleared his throat, Jess turned to him. She wasn't sure what she was meant to say, thankfully Remus spoke first.

"Jess, maybe it's best if you didn't know." Jess narrowed her eyes about to ask how bad they were, when she caught Remus's gaze. He looked upset and a little distressed.

"Remus, are you alright?" This question got several responses. Yasmin's head spun towards Remus, James's chair went bang onto the floor, (he had been swinging backwards on his chair.) and Lily squeaked. Sirius simply turned and looked Remus straight in the eye, but he did not take his gaze away from Jess.

"Yeah, I'm fine Jess. Don't worry." He said so calmly and controlled to Jess. Sirius breathed out and shook his head when he caught Remus's eye. He had expected Remus to tell Jess, but obviously he didn't want to worry her yet. Jess nodded, not believing a word Remus said.

They all sat there chatting for a while about all types of things, Sirius and James groaned when Lily mentioned homework, until Madam Pomfrey came to make them leave.

"Miss Rhodes needs her sleep. You can all come and visit her tomorrow. Now out!" She didn't yell at them, just rose her voice a little, which made Jess smile.

"See you all tomorrow." She waved from her bed at the retreating figures of her friends. When they had shut the doors of the hospital wing Jess laid back. She hadn't realised how much talking to her friends had worn her out. Madam Pomfrey gave her a potion to drink.

"Here you go. It'll help you sleep, no dreams." Jess looked up at her asking a question with her eyes. Madam Pomfrey smiled gently at Jess, "I heard you last night. Are you having nightmares Jess?" She asked using Jess's first name. Jess drunk the drink and nodded.

"Yeah. But I don't think I'd call them nightmares. Just complicated dreams." Madam Pomfrey nodded, but Jess knew she couldn't understand, Jess didn't understand herself. Taking the goblet away from Jess Madam Pomfrey turned out her nightlight.

"Well, hopefully you won't have any tonight after drinking that. Goodnight Miss Rhodes." Jess smiled at the formal way Madam Pomfrey said goodnight. Jess smiled and shut her eyes.

Sirius and Remus were the last ones in the common room that night. Sirius kept throwing Remus looks. Remus tried to ignore them, but they were really starting to annoy him. He looked up as Sirius looked away, not wanting Remus to see him. "What is it Sirius?" Sirius looked back at him.

"I was just wondering why you didn't tell Jess about your little mishap in the hall." Remus flushed bright red. Sirius smiled at this. "Well? What's your excuse?" Sirius asked. Remus sighed and looked at the floor.

"I think she'll be angry at me." Sirius laughed shortly.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm the one who should be. You did punch my brother." Remus looked at him; Sirius saw he looked really worried. "You're really worried about what Jess's reaction will be, aren't you?" Remus nodded, a little ashamed. "No worries Moony. I'll sort her out. I promise she won't even touch you." Remus smiled. "I think she'll be more worried that Moony came out and you got detention for it." Something flashed across Remus's eyes. Sirius frowned.

"Sirius, it's not a good thing that Moony came out. I was just so mad. You and James were mad as well. But you didn't hit Regulus." Sirius rolled his fist up,

"I wanted to though." He realised his hand and looked Remus in the eye. "It's not your fault. Just tell Jess tomorrow and it'll be sorted soon." Remus nodded and smiled at Sirius.

"So Sirius, what about you and Jess?" Sirius shrugged.

"I still like her. I've always liked her. But after what happened in the hospital wrong, I doubt she'll ever look at me like that again." Remus frowned, not knowing what Sirius was going on about. Sirius saw this and explained, "When she woke up and saw me, Remus, she thought I was Regulus. She had a small panic attack. I couldn't handle that again. I remind her too much of Regulus." Sirius looked down hurt by what he had just said. Remus shook his head.

"You're wrong. All you have to do is get close to her again. Prove to her you aren't Regulus." Sirius nodded, but then shook his head.

"Remus, all I do is hurt her. I know I want to be with her, but I'll end up hurting her. I can feel it. How will I save her from that? How do you save a life that has been ripped into a thousand pieces?" Remus shrugged, honestly not knowing how to answer that question.

"Well, take the plunge." Sirius frowned, "You know? Take chances, you never know what will happen until it does." Remus stood up and tapped Sirius on the shoulder, "Don't stay up too late, we have class tomorrow and if you want to see Jess beforehand you'll have to get up early." He left Sirius, who sat there for a moment before following Remus. When he shut the dormitory door the fire in the common room went out.


	48. Nobody Knows

Hello everyone. Thanks to all you who have review so far! Keep reviewing please! So here's the next chapter. Hope you like it. Thanks, review with a smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Nobody Knows

_Nobody knows, nobody knows the rhythm of my heart. When I'm lying in the dark and the world is asleep. I think nobody knows, nobody knows, but me._

Jess woke the next morning refreshed with a dreamless night. She stretched and sat up trying to get herself in a position where she would be comfortable. A pillow slid down so she couldn't reach it. She tried her best but couldn't. Luckily Madam Pomfrey had stepped into the room to check on Jess and saw her struggling. "Oh dear. Let me help you." Madam Pomfrey rushed over and pulled the pillow up. Jess smiled thanks at her.

"Thank you. And thank you for that potion last night. I actually got a goodnight sleep." Madam Pomfrey smiled, but it was rather forced. Jess frowned slightly. "Madam Pomfrey?" Madam Pomfrey looked Jess in the eye and dropped her smile and looked very concerned,

"Jess, how bad are the nightmares?" Jess shrugged.

"They're just disturbing. Sometimes they'll scare me, other times they won't. I don't know, sometimes I'll remember them, other times I won't. I don't understand them." She gave Madam Pomfrey a comforting and persuading smile, "But they're alright. I'm fine." Madam Pomfrey acted reassured, but Jess wasn't sure that she actually believed a word that Jess had just said. Madam Pomfrey handed Jess a goblet.

"Here, drink this. It'll keep the pain down." Jess smelt the potion and pulled the goblet away for a moment, and then she glanced up at Madam Pomfrey who rolled her eyes. "Yes, it doesn't smell very nice, but it'll help. I promise you." Jess nodded and pulled a disgusted face before downing the whole potion without a second thought. Madam Pomfrey took the goblet from Jess as she made a revolting face. Madam Pomfrey rolled her eyes once more and walked away. Jess wiped her mouth and stuck her tongue out and called out,

"Madam Pomfrey? Can I have a mint or a drink that'll get rid of this disgusting taste from my mouth?" Madam Pomfrey laughed. Jess shook her head and looked around. She had no idea what time it was. She yawned. Then as she reopened her eyes saw a figure in the doorway. For a moment her heart started to race, but as he walked into the light and Jess saw he was wearing Gryffindor robes her heart slowed down. "Morning Sirius." When she spoke her voice was a little shaky and it didn't go unnoticed by Sirius, but he didn't comment. Instead he smiled and sat in the chair to the side of her.

"Hey, how you feeling this morning?" Jess smiled back and nodded. She was about to answer when Madam Pomfrey came in with another goblet of juice this time for Jess. She spotted Sirius and for a moment she too stopped thinking the same as Jess, but when she saw Jess smiling she knew it was only Sirius.

"Ah, Mister Black. You're here early." Sirius nodded with a huge smile for Madam Pomfrey, who handed Jess the goblet. Jess pulled a face. "It's only pumpkin juice Miss Rhodes. It won't kill you." Jess frowned and rolled her eyes. Sirius unsure what was going on just sat and smiled. The doors of the hospital wing swung open again and James stuck his head round.

"Sirius we have to get to class. What's up Jess?!" He waved at her. Jess waved back and yelled,

"I'm fine. You know I'm just in a hospital wing!" All Jess heard back was James laughing. Sirius stood up and rubbed Jess on the head.

"I'll see you later Jess. Lily said she'll be round later." Jess smiled and waved as he walked away.

Jess slept through most of the day. Just after dinner Lily finally came and saw her. Jess was reading when Lily came in. "Hey Jess, sorry I've been really busy. I brought you your homework." Lily smiled at Jess's disbelief on her face. Jess took the pile of papers and books from Lily's hands.

"Thanks Lily." Jess said slowly. "So anything going on?" Lily sat down and shook her head.

"The whole school is still talking, but we've all tried our best to stop the rumours." Jess smiled. Lily smiled back, but it dropped when a question came into her head. "So how are you doing Jess?" Jess smiled.

"Good, I'm not really feeling any pain anymore..." Lily interrupted her.

"No that's not what I meant. After what Regulus did to you?" Jess's smiled faded and she shrugged.

"Lily, I'm fine. It's hard to think about it. I know it's going to affect me for a while, but I'm really trying not to think about it. The worst thing is every time I see Sirius; all I think about is Regulus." Lily's face was one of concern.

"But you and Sirius are ok right?" Jess nodded, not wanting Lily to misunderstand.

"Oh yes, we're both fine. It's just I shouldn't be feeling like this. Because I really didn't like Regulus that much." Lily frowned. "I know it sounds bad, but I think the only reason I went out with Regulus was because I still have feelings for Sirius." Lily smiled. Jess wasn't sure why she was smiling. "What?"

"You don't get it, do you Jess?" Jess shook her head, obviously not getting it. Lily sighed, "You and Sirius, you're like rollercoaster. The pair of you go all lovey-dovey to start with, and then you fall because one of you does something stupid." Jess opened her mouth to say something, but Lily held her hand up to stop her, "Don't tell me it's always Sirius, because it's not." Jess shut her mouth and leant back with her arms folded. "To get to my point, you're starting to go back the ride, both of you just have to make sure you don't fall back down." Jess narrowed her eyes; she knew what Lily had just said basically explained her and Sirius's relationship. Lily smiled relaxing into the conversation. "And it's so clear that Sirius is totally in love with you and you with him." Jess smiled back but it slowly fell as she remembered what her point was to start with.

"But I can't do anything about it." Lily frowned, forgetting what Jess had said. Jess rolled her eyes, "Because Sirius reminds me too much of Regulus and I get really scared when I see him because I think he's Regulus. It hurts Lily; it hurts too much to know that. I can't handle the hurt or the look on Sirius's face if he ever found out." Jess said quickly to make sure Lily understood how much it would hurt her.

Little did the two girls know that standing outside the hospital stood Sirius. He had heard everything they had just said. He leant back onto the wall and sighed. So he reminded Jess of Regulus. He remembered Jess's face this morning when she had seen him walk into the hospital wing and it all made sense. She had thought he was Regulus. The thought alone made him gag. He suddenly realised why Jess didn't want him to know. Because she was afraid that he would react badly. He shook his head, not wanting Jess to know he had heard the conversation he started walking back to the common room, thinking about that his relationship with Jess would know never happen.

"So what are you going to do Jess?" The conversation was still going on after Sirius had left so he didn't hear the end. Jess shrugged at Lily's question and it was the right question to ask. Mostly because Jess had no idea. Lily wanting Jess to know that she should go for it with Sirius. Os she told her this, "Jess I think you're being stupid." Jess's head snapped up shocked at Lily's statement.

"What?" Lily smiled.

"I think you're letting what happened with Regulus get in the way with your feelings towards Sirius. You're feeling guilty because in a way you used Regulus, but you're also feeling hurt because of what he did to you. Then you're also feeling confused because you have these feelings for Sirius, but you're not sure whether you should pursue them. That leads you to feeling scared because you think that Sirius is going to hurt you." Lily said this in one breath. Jess raised her eyebrows and started to giggle. Lily frowned not knowing what was funny. Jess stopped and smiled.

"Sorry Lily, but that was weird." She suddenly turned serious. "I thought nobody knew what I was going through, but apparently I was wrong. You explained it right. I am feeling those things." Lily smiled and nodded, inwardly giving herself a high five. "So doctor, what am I supposed to do with all those feelings?" Jess asked Lily, who laughed.

"Well, to be honest with you Jess, I think you should just get over them." Jess smiled brightly at that idea, and then got a slight frown on her face. "I know you're going to say it's easier said than done. But this is Sirius we're talking about. Forget the feelings and focus on him, like I did with James. I used to honestly think James was an arrogant bigheaded pig, but I got over those feelings and look at us now." Jess smiled thinking of this example. But she knew that things don't happen the same way twice.

"Lily, I'll try. I'll do my best, it's just I have a feeling that Sirius will screw this up, I fucked up our relationship last time. It's his turn this time." Lily shook her head and patted Jess's knee and stood up.

"Jess, relax. Have some faith in Sirius. I have to go; I've got a ton of homework, as do you." She pointed to the books she had brought. Jess smiled and nodded,

"How could I forget?" Lily laughed and walked away, as she touched the hospital wing door she turned back and called out to Jess,

"Oh, you should talk to Remus next time you see him. I think he needs to talk to you, but he's worried about what you'll say." She waved and left Jess sitting wondering what Remus could possibly have to say to her.


	49. Over The Rainbow

Hey guys, here's the next chapter. Hope you like it. Please review for any chapter you want to. Thank you. Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Over the Rainbow

_Somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow why then oh why can't I?_

"Thanks for everything Madam Pomfrey." Jess said sincerely. That morning she had made the decision to leave the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey did agree with this, but as much as she tried to convince Jess to stay, it was all for nothing and Jess told her that she couldn't stand to be in there any longer. Jess had eventually come to an agreement with Madam Pomfrey. Jess agreed to stay until dinner and had to go back for a check up the next day and in a week. It was just after dinner when Jess finally walked out. Madam Pomfrey had given her dinner already so she didn't have to face everyone yet. As she breathed the air outside the hospital wing she banged into Remus, just the person she was going to look for.

"Jess! You're out already?" He sounded just like Madam Pomfrey. Jess smiled.

"Yep. It took some convincing though." Remus smiled, knowing how protective Madam Pomfrey can get once she got to know a patient. "Were you coming to see me?" Jess asked Remus. Remus turned a light shade of red and nodded.

"Yeah. I need to talk to you." He spoke gently and carefully. He wasn't sure how Jess was going to react. But Jess was making sure she was going to go easy, because she already had an idea about what Remus had done. Jess suddenly had a thought.

"How about we go out to the grounds and just scream?" Remus smiled remembering the last time they had done that. He glanced at his watch, Jess saw him do this. "Oh, is it late? Or do you have something else to do?" Remus looked up her; he saw how vulnerable she looked at the moment. He shook his head.

"No, actually I was wondering how long we'd have to scream for. We have a few hours." Jess smiled at this. Remus held his arm out. "Coming Miss Rhodes?" Jess took his arm,

"Thank you Mister Lupin." Together they made their way to the farthest part of the grounds.

"One, two, three!" They both opened their mouths and yelled the loudest they could. After about three minutes of yelling Jess started to laugh and fell onto the grass. Remus soon fell after her. They giggled for a while, before just laying there in silence enjoying each other's company. Jess felt safe because she was with Remus. She breathed slowly in and out listening to the sounds of the world around her. She heard voices coming from the castle, she heard the wind blow past her and she heard the rustle of the trees in the wind. She shut her eyes and just listened. Remus broke the silence. "Ok, I have something I need to tell you Jess. So I'm just going to say it." Jess didn't move or say anything. "I heard what happened and I, kinda." He stopped and pushed himself up on one elbow and looked at her. "Jess?" Jess opened her eyes and looked him straight in the eye. "I attacked Regulus." He flinched back expecting her to hit him, but she touched his face with the back of her hand.

"It's ok Remus. I think I guessed when Lily mentioned you need to talk to me." Remus frowned and made a mental note never to tell James anything because he would tell Lily. "So no worries Remus. I'm ok with it." Remus shook his head, she didn't know the worst.

"Jess, I didn't just attack Regulus. Moony came out at him." Jess frowned, not really understanding what he meant. "I mean, the wolf came out." Jess's eyes widened with astonishment. Remus nodded. "It's never happened before. But it did. I was really worried, I felt as if I wanted to kill him." Jess laughed, Remus didn't see what was funny.

"I bet you wanted to eat him." Remus shook his head. Jess looked up at the sky. The sun was setting with a brilliant red sky. "You know what Remus; I'm really worried about tomorrow. Walking into the great hall. Everyone is going to be looking at me. That's why right now I wish I could fly over the rainbow, or over the sun set away." Remus sat up and smiled gently at her.

"It'll be alright. You'll have me and Lily and James and Sirius to help you." Jess smiled at him and jumped to her feet.

"Guess so. Come on we'd better get going." The brushed themselves off and made their way toward the castle. As they walked past the lake Remus stopped and pointed to a figure sitting next to the lake.

"Isn't that Sirius?" Jess turned to look and saw he was right.

"Yeah, I'm going to go talk to him. I'll see you later Remus." Remus waved her off as she ran off towards Sirius.

* * *

If there are any spelling mistakes or grammer mistakes, please let me know so I can fix them. Thank you. Jwebby


	50. When You Believe

Hello everyone. I'm really sorry that I haven't updated for a few days, I've been busy. So, here's the next chapter. Review with a smile. : ) thank you, Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

When You Believe

_There can be miracles, when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe._

Jess walked over to Sirius's figure who was sitting by the lake. As she got closer she saw he was throwing pebbles into the water making ripples across the surface. She smiled at him. He was totally in his own little world. She thought for a moment about what she was going to say, what _was_ she going to say? She took a quiet deep breath inwards. Then slowly and making sure she was as silent as she could be walked the last few steps and sat down next to him. When she sat down Sirius finally noticed her and stopped throwing pebbles. The last one he threw splashed loudly onto the water, destroying the peacefulness of the water. Jess watched as the water hit the edge of the lake. Neither of them spoke, Jess wasn't sure whether it was an awkward silence or whether neither knew who was going to speak first. Jess took the plunge and decided the silence had gone on long enough. "So, how have you been?" Sirius didn't turn to her. Instead he just shrugged. Jess felt stupid at that moment. Why wasn't he answering? Had she done something wrong? She shut her eyes and asked him after opening them and getting fed up with his silence. "Sirius, have I done something wrong? Because you're not saying anything to me." Jess said this carefully, not knowing what she had done. Sirius looked across the lake and said,

"I thought I reminded you too much of my brother?" He looked her straight in the eye. Jess felt guilty then and realised something that made her a little annoyed.

"Wait, you heard that conversation?" Sirius nodded and threw another pebble making the water splash over Jess a little. Not knowing that Sirius hadn't heard the end, "So, you're up for it?" Sirius frowned, not understanding what she was talking about. Jess looked at him, waiting for him to answer. "Sirius?" Sirius shrugged and took her hand.

"Lily was right; I am totally in love with you. And I'm ready to give us another shot if you are." Jess frowned slightly at him, then gasped and smiled.

"You didn't hear the end of the conversation did you?" Sirius shook his head and squeezed her hand. Looking in her eye he asked,

"Was it important?" Jess thought about telling him how she thought he was going to mess it up, but thought against it. This was what she wanted. She didn't want to ruin that right now. Shaking her head, she watched as Sirius leant down and kissed her. She smiled into the kiss and pulled him closer to her. She fell onto her back and the two lay there.

"Sirius, I've always been in love with you. I thought maybe dating someone else would make me forget you. But that didn't work, seeing as I dated Regulus." It hurt to say his name. Jess didn't realise how hard it was to mention Regulus. Sirius seemed to pick up on this and hugged her close. Jess smiled shortly, "Sorry, it still hurts to think about him." Sirius kissed her head.

"You don't have to say anything, especially not sorry." Jess looked up to look into Sirius's eyes.

"But he's your brother. And I think that was one of the reasons I first went out with him. Because he looked like you." Sirius smiled at this, it slowly disappeared when Jess spoke again, "But I really did start to like him. He was different to you. Not so cocky." Jess giggled a little, Sirius rolled his eyes. "Sirius, Regulus is a good guy. He just hangs around with the wrong people. You heard what Professor Dumbledore said, it wasn't him." Sirius sighed, trying to let that thought make it seem as though it wasn't Regulus. "He was actually a really nice boyfriend. Until," She was unable to pull the memory up. Sirius shook his head,

"It doesn't matter. He still did those things to you and I will never forgive him for that." Jess closed her eyes, she felt so bad. It was all her fault that the brothers had now spilt so far apart they wouldn't talk. She knew they hadn't been on good turns anyway, but now thanks to her, they weren't even acknowledging each other. Sirius seemed to pick up on her thoughts, "It's not your fault Jess, and don't you dare think it is. It was going to happen sometime; it just happened you got in the middle of it. But in the end it was when Remus punched him that I realised that I didn't feel anything. When I saw him cradling his nose I felt nothing, not one thing. I just felt nothing." Jess put her arms around him.

"I'm so sorry Sirius. This shouldn't be happening to you." Sirius shrugged into her embrace.

"Like I said, it was bound to happen. I used to be really close to Regulus; until he found out I got sorted into Gryffindor. Then he started to drift away. I think it was my parents who made him do that, but it doesn't matter. They aren't my real family. My real family is you, Remus, James and Hogwarts is my home. I just have to believe." Jess kissed him and smiled as she pulled away.

"And we're here for you Sirius. No worries." She lay on top of him watching the last of the suns shine fade away across the horizon and watch the stars come into view. It was perfect.


	51. You Found Me

Hey guys. Sorry I haven't updated for a while, I've been really busy at school and I was in France for a week, but as it's the holidays I'll try to update sooner. But anyway, here is the next chapter and I hope you like it. Thanks to all of you. Review please! Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

You Found Me

_You found me when no one else was looking, how did you know just where I would be?_

Jess smiled. She felt amazing. She rubbed circles onto Sirius's chest. The t-shirt kept getting in the way of her full circles. Sirius laughed softly, Jess smiled at him laughing at her. She lay back onto his chest and sighed. The sky was blackish and the stars were out now. Sirius glanced at his wrist. His watch said they still had half an hour left till they all had to be in. Jess wasn't sure what she was meant to say. It was so perfect. Everything was perfect. It was what Jess had always dreamt to be in a situation this romantic. Sirius took her hand and kissed it. He whispered softly in her ear, "Sing to me again. Please?" Jess smiled and looked up into Sirius's eyes.

"What am I meant to sing?" Sirius shrugged, honestly not knowing. He just wanted to hear Jess's beautiful voice.

"Anything you want." Sirius whispered. Jess frowned and sighed. She thought about different songs that she knew. There were so many. Many which everyone knew, but she wanted something, a song that would surprise Sirius. Then one came into her head. One which she doubted many people knew. She cleared her throat and took a breath,

"You found me when no one else was looking,

How did you know just where I would be?

You broke through all of my confusion,

The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave.

I guess that you saw what nobody could see,

The good and the bad and the things in-between.

You found me."

Jess spoke the last line, without looking at Sirius. Instead she kept her gaze fixed onto the horizon. Sirius was also staring at the horizon, but he was breathless. Listening to Jess sing had taken his breath away. He rested his head on hers and smiled. "That was amazing." Jess turned to looked at him. He stared at her in the eyes. "Just like you. And I'm fool that I haven't always seen that." Jess kissed him and as she pulled back she caught the time on Sirius's watch.

"Oh shit! We have to go." Jess got up and tried to pull Sirius up. "Come on, help me." Jess laughed as Sirius pretended he could get up on his own. She ended up falling back on top of him, laughing. "You're a right dick, you know that?" Sirius laughed and rolled them over so he was now on top of her.

"Yeah, I know." He laughed and pulled the pair of them up. "Didn't you say we had to go in now?" He let go of her hand and started to run towards the castle. Jess stood and watched him for a moment. He was so cute, but Jess knew she'd have to make the most of this. Sirius stopped when he realised Jess wasn't following him. He turned back and grinned. "Are you coming or what?" Jess nodded and smiled back. She ran and caught up with him.

"Let's go." Sirius grabbed her hand and together they ran back to the castle.

As they got to the steps, Jess froze. Sirius looked back at her. "Jess, what's wrong?" He asked concerned at her action, but when he saw what she was looking at, he understood. He took a deep breath. "We'll just walk past. Hey, look at me Jess." Jess followed his instructions and stared straight into his eyes. "Just at me. Forget him." Jess nodded and Sirius squeezed her hand with encouragement. Jess took one step at a time. She tried so hard to ignore the pair of gray eyes watching her. Then a voice spoke, yelling at her and Sirius.

"Back on the other Black are we Rhodes?" Laughter was heard from the group of people. Another voice shouted at Sirius,

"Do you like your brother's after thought Sirius? You could do so much better!" Jess felt self-conscious. She hadn't felt this way in a while, but walking past the Slytherins made the feeling come back. She quickly threw her head back to get hair out of her face, but caught the eyes she had been dreading to look into. She thought they would be full of hurt and betrayal. But no, they only had worry and sorrow and a bit of thankfulness in them. This surprised Jess. She thought he would be pissed at her for going back to Sirius. But now she realised, Regulus was thankful that she had found someone who would look after her. She prayed he was right, that Sirius would look after her. But for some reason she felt the same as she had done the last time. Something was sure to go wrong; this was just too perfect for her liking. She smiled a small smile at Regulus, not knowing if he saw it as he moved his eyes away. Sirius pulled Jess's hand and with nothing else to do, he pulled her through the front doors and lead her away from the pain.


	52. 99 Red Balloons

Hey guys, here's the next chapter. Hope you like it. Please review with your feedback and your thoughts. Thanks to all of you. Review with a smile. : ) Jwebby.

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

99 Red Balloons

_Floating in the summer sky, 99 red balloons go by_

It had been two weeks and Jess was worrying. Something was going to go wrong with her relationship, she just knew it. She had a feeling deep down that something was gonna screw it up. So she was trying to make the best of it. But at the same time, not let Sirius get too close or for her not to get too close to Sirius. It was the only way. Hopefully it was one of those feelings you get that never come to anything. But Jess had a bad feeling it wasn't.

Jess awoke from a dreamless night. She wasn't having any dreams lately and she was wondering what that meant. At first she thought that it was good sign, meaning that perhaps those weird dreams she had been having had gone. But now she wasn't sure. Jess glanced over and noticed that it was quiet. Was it early? Or was it late? No, Lily would have woken her up if it was. Jess frowned. She knew it was Saturday, but Lily still woke her up. Maybe it _was _just really early and no one else was awake yet. That could be it. Jess rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. It didn't work. She just didn't feel tired. Breathing out very loudly she opened her curtains and found... no one else was in the dormitory. Huh? Jess stood up and shook her head, maybe she was dreaming? That would explain it. Or she had a bad hangover, wait, she didn't drink alcohol. Thinking she was just late up, Jess fussed about getting herself ready.

Yawning she took her time to walk down the steps to the common room. Why would Lily not wake her up? Jess couldn't shrug the feeling she was forgetting something important about today. She couldn't think straight. She rubbed her forehead and entered the common room. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Jess jumped at the screams and calls at her. She closed her eyes and blinked a few times. The common room was full of people and they were all smiling at her. She smiled back unsure of what was happening. Sirius walked up to her and kissed her. "Happy birthday love," He held out a present. Jess stared at it for a moment then back at Sirius.

"What?! It's not my birthday." James and Remus laughed behind Sirius. Jess frowned at them. "It isn't! I think I would remember my own birthday." James laughed again and walked over to her.

"Jessie, don't you think it'd be a bit cruel for us to fake your birthday? And everyone here is only here to say happy birthday. So stop being stupid and at least thank everyone cause they're late for breakfast." Jess opened her mouth to argue back, and then she looked at the faces of everyone standing around watching. James winked at her and Jess rolled her eyes. She smiled brightly at everyone and waved,

"Thanks everyone, I can't believe you're all here just to say happy birthday to me. So thank you." Everyone laughed, was this just a prank? Jess felt the temperature on her face rise. James stood next to her and cleared his voice, Jess expected him to say, "Well everyone thanks for coming to watch Jess's humiliation, come back next week, for make Jess believe its Christmas!" But he didn't, in fact he didn't say anything. He shouted very loudly in Jess's ear,

"Part tonight in the common room, all is welcome!" Sirius laughed and high-fived James when the crowd yelled and whistled. Jess however stepped away from the limelight and went to stand with Lily. Lily was with Yasmin and they were shaking their heads at the boys. Jess smiled,

"Ok guys, is it really my birthday?" Lily smiled widely and nodded.

"Yeah, how did you not realise it was you birthday?" Jess shrugged, she actually hadn't known it was her birthday. She suddenly thought that was rather sad and embarrassing. Yasmin laughed and gave her a gift.

"Happy birthday Jess, and don't worry. We'll keep your party sane tonight." Jess took the present and smiled.

The rest of the day Jess had mostly everyone saying they were looking forward to the party tonight. Jess however wasn't really looking forward to it. If she had been the one to plan it, she would have been worrying about everything, but as she hadn't planned it, she was still worrying as it was her party. Lily and Yasmin had told her countless numbers of times that Remus was making sure everything would go well, but Jess still worried about it. Just before dinner Jess went into the Great hall alone as Yasmin and Lily were going to supervise Sirius and James with the party arrangements. She sat by herself right up the other end, away from the doors. The teachers pleasantly ignored her, as if they knew she wanted to be alone with her thoughts. At that moment Jess wanted to get the night over and done with, or skip it completely. She knew, she just knew that tonight was going to be a disaster. Something was going to happen. And she had a bad feeling about it. Just as she was coming up with a plan to escape up to her dormitory without anyone noticing her, she heard footsteps. She glanced up. Nancy smiled down at her. "Hey Nancy. I guess you wanted to know about the party." Nancy shook her head and sat next to her.

"Actually I wanted to say that I've heard that Fiona, you know that girl who was all over Sirius at James's party?" Jess nodded the memory of that night floating back to her. "Well, the news is that she's going to try and get Sirius back, tonight. So in fact she's going to try and ruin not just your relationship with Sirius but to ruin your party as well. Which I have to say sucks. Really does suck." Do you want me to kick her ass Jess? Cause I will, no worries about it." Jess smirked at Nancy, but shook her head.

"No it's alright. Actually, I wasn't planning on going to the party." Jess told her honestly. Nancy sat there looking shocked. Wait a moment; Jess wasn't going to her own party.

"What do you mean you're not planning on going? You have to. It's your party and I know for certain that the marauders and Lily, not to mention Yasmin have been planning this party for quite a while. I'm surprised you haven't heard them talking about it." Jess frowned. She hadn't heard any of them mentioning it, but then she had been off in her own little world for a while. Nancy smiled at her, "See you can't not go." Jess nodded. "Look, if you really don't want to go, I'll help you." Jess snapped her gaze up to meet Nancy's.

"How would you help me?" Nancy smiled cheekily. She had an idea.

"Listen, all you need is to stay for like half an hour, that's it. Then complain that you're tired and have a headache. Make up some bull about having a long week, then go upstairs. I'll put a dampening spell on our room, so you can't hear all the noise and it'll be fine." Jess couldn't believe Nancy was going to do this for her.

"Yeah, thanks Nancy. Are you going to be my distraction?" Nancy nodded with a huge smile. "Thank you. I can't believe you'd do this for me." Nancy stood up and pulled Jess up with her.

"Yeah well believe it. No one messes with my friends, well my sort of friends, and gets away with it. I won't let that slut-faced hoe bag anywhere near Sirius. And if by some chance she does try something and get to Sirius, Jess you have to promise me that you won't blame Sirius." Jess frowned, not really understanding. Was Nancy standing up for Sirius? Nancy sighed, "Fiona is a bitch. And I'll bet you Sirius is going to get hammered tonight and I know you won't be drinking, not after last time." Jess blushed bright red. "So knowing Sirius, if Fiona does come on to him, he won't know what his own actions will be. I know he's cheated on you before and I know that you'll be pissed. And I'm guessing that so will James, Remus and Lily etc. But pleased don't be too hard on him. I know how it hurts when you don't mean to do something and people take it the wrong way." That was when Nancy smiled and walked away, leaving Jess standing in the nearly empty Great hall, completely confused. What had Nancy just said? What did she mean?

Jess took the long way round to get the common room. It took her about fifteen minutes walking incredibly slowly. She really wished she didn't have to do this. Sighing she looked at the clock tower. Nine-fifteen. The party had been going for a while now and Jess still wasn't there. She knew Lily would be worrying about where she was, but Jess didn't care. She felt like crying. She knew something was going to happen, something bad. She got to the portrait of the fat lady and stopped. The fat lady looked at her for a moment. "Are you going in sweetheart? They're having a party in there." Jess nodded and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, it's my party. I should go in, but I don't know if I want to." Jess said the password, getting a look of sympathy from the fat lady. Jess took a deep breath and the portrait swung open. Thankfully no one even noticed her entering because the music was so loud and half of the people were already smashed. Jess kept her head down and nearly made it to the dormitories until, "Jess! There's my girl!" Sirius yelled across the common room. Jess spun round and put on a fake smile, hoping Sirius wouldn't notice. He didn't. Nancy had been right, he was drunk.

"Hey Sirius." Sirius slung an arm round Jess's shoulder. He pulled her over to where Lily and James sat. Lily grinned at Jess.

"So when did you get here Jessie?" James asked. Jess noticed he too was a little tipsy. Jess frowned, but put on another fake smile. Lily kissed James on the cheek and giggled. God, she was drunk too. What were they serving?

"A while ago. I was talking to Nancy. We got a little caught up with some talk. What have I missed?" Sirius laughed at something over Jess's head. It went straight through Jess's head. She breathed in. "Is everyone here drunk?" No one seemed to hear her. Jess pulled away from Sirius. He frowned. Jess smiled, "I'm going to go get a drink. Be back in a moment." She dunked away. She was half way to the drinks table when Nancy pulled her away.

"Fiona's here. I'll try and keep an eye on her." Nancy winked and dived back into the crowd. Jess smiled genuinely, she doubted Nancy would actually keep an eye on Fiona. Jess was trying to keep her faith in Sirius. It was running thin. Jess gave up on trying to get a drink, there were too many people. None of them noticed her. Jess felt alone. She was in a room full of people and she still felt alone. Everyone was walking around her, as if she wasn't there. Jess sighed and shut her eyes. She stood there for a moment before she felt an arm snake around her hips. A voice whispered in her ear,

"Jess, I want you." Jess smiled and turned and opened her eyes. Sirius grinned sincerely at her. Jess laughed softly,

"You have me Sirius Black." Sirius shook his head. Jess became a little worried about what he meant.

"I mean, _I want you_." He spoke slowly and seductively. Jess swallowed and shook her head. She knew what he wanted and for the first time in a while, she felt scared. Not frightened. Scared. She knew what he wanted and she was scared about it. She pulled away from Sirius and stared him in the eye. He looked hopeful. But she couldn't. She just couldn't.

"Sirius, I can't. I'm not ready for that." Her voice was faulty. She was afraid of his reaction. Sirius whispered once more, but let go as well.

"It's alright. When you're ready, I'm here. I love you." He let her go completely and walked away. Jess smiled, but felt embarrassed. He probably hated her now. Why couldn't she have just given him what he wanted? A voice in the back of head suddenly appeared, why should you have? You don't want that, don't give in to him. You're not ready. Don't pretend you are. Jess nodded to herself and went to find Sirius to explain why she couldn't, maybe he would understand. Maybe.


	53. Walk Away

Hey guys. Here's the next chapter. Hope you like it. Reviews are welcome very much. Thanks to all you who have been reading and reviewing. Keep it up please. Thanks. Review with a smile. : ) Jwebby.

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Walk Away

_Well, if you don't have the answer, why you still standing here? Hey, hey, hey, hey. Just walk away._

As Jess made her way through the crowd towards Sirius, she stopped. Watching Sirius she realised that he had no idea where he was or what he was doing. In fact he probably wouldn't even know it was her. Jess sighed and shook her head as Sirius downed another bottle. Something was wrong. He wasn't stopping. How many had he had? Jess started to worry; there was something really wrong with that picture. Sirius wouldn't do this, not on her birthday. There was no way. He wouldn't, would he?

Jess didn't want to know. She made the decision to leave it alone. She drew her gaze away from the drunk that was her boyfriend and decided it would be safer for her to just go to bed. But first she had to find Nancy. Stepping forward the world seemed to move with her. There was so much noise. Everyone was shouting. Someone shoved her, Jess got thrown into someone. "Sorry." She looked up and found a loving face looking back at her. She stepped backwards about to smile at him, when she missed her step and started to fall back. Remus gasped and grabbed her arms and pulled her up. He said nothing as he led her into a chair. Jess sat down, something smashed behind Remus. The sound went straight through Jess's head. She put a hand to her forehead. Remus put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"How many have you had Jess?" Jess looked up at his question. She shook her head and spoke slowly.

"None. I only really just got here." Remus frowned and someone shouted something, but Jess couldn't make out want it had been. Remus shook his head and stood up. He looked over the heads of the people around and Jess knew the look he now had on his face. He was pissed. He turned back to Jess.

"I'm so sorry Jess, this wasn't meant to happen. Your party had been ruined and I know who to blame." He patted her shoulder and walked away. Jess didn't know what to think or feel. Right now she just wanted to go to bed. She felt really crappy and didn't need this. She saw Nancy on the other side of the room and tried to get her attention, but someone blocked her view. Jess groaned when she realised who it was. She_ really_ didn't need this.

"You're going to die bitch!" Fiona spat in Jess's face. Jess knew she was drunk. She wasn't sure what to say, so Jess stood there. She let Fiona vent. Very loudly. "You took him away, he doesn't deserve you! He was meant to be with me! You didn't even ask if we were together. You just came in when you felt like it! Well you know what? The whole school should see what you're really like!" People were watching now and the common room was slowly turning silent and all Jess did was stand there, trying to keep up straight. "Jess Rhodes is a boyfriend stealing bitch who wants to fit in with everyone, but she can't because she's nothing! No one even knew who she was until she started dating Sirius! And where did that come from? Because she dressed up all slutty and made people believe she was something different. Well Sirius is starting to see the real you isn't he Jess?" Jess blinked and looked around, every face was looking at them. She saw Nancy start to move, she saw Lily, James and Remus at the back of the crowd stop their conversation and turn to watch. Then Jess saw Sirius, he was right in front of them. He grinned nastily at her. Jess blinked a few more times, she was starting to feel really dizzy. Fiona watched her and knew she wasn't listening, she shoved Jess. "Hey I'm talking to you! Listen to me you bitch! God, how rude?" Jess took deep breaths. She held her head and looked Fiona in the eye. Fiona shrugged, "Don't you have anything to say?" Jess frowned.

"I think, I think..." She never finished. Fiona thought she was being rude and got angry. She stepped forward and punched Jess round the face. Jess stepped forward, her nose started to ache, then bloody hurt. She held it and her vision was clouded by tears. Then Sirius stood forward, next to Fiona. He looked at Jess. Jess looked back at him. He wasn't seeing her. He didn't know it was her. He thought she was someone else. He grinned and turned to Fiona.

"Good one Jess!" Jess looked up and saw he was talking to Fiona. Then something made her collapse. He kissed her. Right in the lips. And she kissed him back. Nancy who had made it to the front of the crowd stopped in shock. Jess fell to the floor and the pain from her nose was indescribable. Her head was killing her and something was running down her face. Touching her chin she found it was a mixture of blood from her nose and tears. She couldn't see anything; she was staring at the floor. At Sirius's feet. She followed them up and saw Sirius's face. He had stopped kissing Fiona and realised something was wrong; he looked down and stared Jess right in the eye. Jess saw that Sirius had figured out what he had just done. Jess wanted to get up, she wanted to run. But she could pick herself up. She coughed and fell right onto her front, the room was silent and Jess shut her eyes and finally let the darkness over take her.


	54. Never Had a Dream Come True

Hey guys, next chapter. Next bit of drama here, the parts which are in italic are what Remus is telling Jess, just in more detail. Hope you enjoy. Please review with your feedback. Thanks. Review with a smile. : )Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Never Had a Dream Come True

_I never had a dream come true, till the day I found you. Even though I pretend that I've moved on, you'll always be my baby._

Jess awoke to silence. She blinked and few times figuring out where she was. Whatever she was laying on was comfortable and soft. She felt a blanket had been draped over her. She felt safe and alive. This was a good thing from where Jess was laying. She took a deep breath through her mouth and opened her eyes fully. She was in the hospital wing. "Oh joy." She whispered to herself. She looked to her right and saw Remus in a chair. He was fast asleep. Apart from him, there was no one else in the room. She sat up and her face started to feel uncomfortable. She touched her nose and felt a plaster type thing stuck on there. As soon as she touched the bridge of her nose everything came back. She remembered all of it. The pain came back and she cried out. Remus awoke sharply and turned to see Jess on the brink of tears, crouched over holding her stomach. Remus stood up and sat on the edge of her bed.

"Jess, calm down. You're alright, you're safe." He brought her head to meet his. She looked into his eyes and knew he was telling her the truth. She sat up against him. He stroked her hair, letting her calm down. A few tears escaped but apart from that Jess felt nothing else. It was like being around Remus helped. "Jess, you fainted. And I'm guessing by your reaction you remember everything that happened. Well, everything that happened when you were awake." Jess turned to look at him. He was staring right at her. She saw worry and hurt in his eyes. She looked at him with questioning eyes. Something had happened that she didn't know about and by the way Remus looked it wasn't good. He opened his mouth and started to explain.

_They watched Jess fall to the floor. Lily gasped and pushed through the crowd and fell next to her. Lily held her head and looked up at Sirius. "She's unconscious." Remus went to stand next to Lily, he didn't look at Sirius. He glanced round and yelled in a voice no one had heard Remus use before, _

"_Someone go and get a teacher." When no one moved he bellowed, "NOW!" Everyone seemed to move at the same time. The crowd disappeared at once it seemed. Fiona tried to get out of the common room, but Nancy caught her. _

"_Oh you're not going anywhere." Nancy punched her round the face. Fiona landed on her butt, she looked up at Nancy with evil eyes. Fiona stood and stuck her middle finger up at Nancy. Nancy smile wickedly at Fiona. As she walked past Nancy, Nancy grabbed her and whispered a threat in her voice right in her ear, "This isn't it. You hurt my friends and I hurt you. So you better look round every corner and check every room, because I will get you for doing this. You just wait." Fiona stepped away; she saw the threat in Nancy's eyes and ran out of the common room. _

_Meanwhile James had teared his gaze from Jess's figure on the floor to Sirius. Sirius hadn't moved since he had realised what he had done. The drunkenness he had just been feeling had melted away when he had seen the broken look on Jess's face and in her eyes. He felt sick. James watched Sirius for a moment, then the angry appeared. He walked right up to Sirius and stood in front of him for a second. Sirius looked up at his best friend. Sirius wasn't sure what James was going to do. For a moment, a very short moment Sirius thought James was going to hug him. But that disappeared as soon as James's fist smacked into his face. "BASTARD!" James punched him again and then kicked him as Sirius fell. Remus stood up and pulled James away. Lily stood as Nancy looked after Jess. "How could you do that to her?" Sirius stared at Jess, she looked peaceful, but so broken at the same time. He felt anger at himself but also at James for blaming this all on him. _

"_You could have helped! No, you were as pissed as I was." Sirius yelled at James. James tried to move against Remus. But Remus stood strong. _

"_Yeah, because you wouldn't stop giving me drinks!" Sirius shook his head at James, _

"_Don't give me that bull shit! You knew exactly what you were doing!" Lily touched James's arm. James looked at her. Lily shook her head. James stopped struggling but threw a look of hatred at Sirius. Nancy watched this and held tighter on to Jess. Remus let go of James. He stood back, but realised his mistake when James lunged at Sirius. Lily and Remus watched as the two boys beat the crap out of each other. Nancy felt tears come to her eyes, not of sadness but of disbelief. _

"_Oh my god! How selfish could the two of you be?" The two boys stopped and looked at Nancy. "You're all thinking of yourselves. None of you even asked Jess if she wanted this party, none of you even bothered to see if she was here. Did anyone of you tell everyone she was here? Did you buy a cake?" None of them could meet Nancy's eyes, "No, instead you throw an out of control party and invite people Jess can't stand. Some friends you lot are." _

"_I couldn't of said it better myself Miss Simpson." Everyone open eye turned to the tall think figure which appeared out of the shadows towards them. Professor Dumbledore looked at the scene. Yasmin stepped around him, Madam Pomfrey hot on her heels. Madam Pomfrey gasped at the sight of Jess and rushed to her side. She looked at Professor Dumbledore. _

"_Albus, she needs to get to the hospital wing immediately." Professor Dumbledore nodded and spoke gently, but with some firmness. _

"_Miss Simpson and Mr Lupin will help you." Remus looked at the Professor. Didn't he deserve to be told off as well? Dumbledore nodded at him. Remus stepped forward and helped Madam Pomfrey and Nancy get Jess out of the common room. When they had left Professor Dumbledore sighed. "I am incredibly disappointed in all of you." Sirius didn't turn to look at Dumbledore. He couldn't bear to look him in the eye. It would only hurt. "You all know what you have done wrong and I hope you can fix it. Unfortunately all you, excluding Miss Heart, are going to have to clean this up." Yasmin looked down to the floor not wanting to feel like a suck-up. "And Mr Black and Mr Potter will serve detentions for two months for fighting. You will be informed of the times and dates later. But right now I think you should all go to bed and get a good night's rest." Lily stepped forward and said quietly. _

"_Um, Professor, what about Fiona Tyler?" Professor Dumbledore turned and nodded. _

"_She will also have to serve detention, but at a different time from Mr Potter and Mr Black." And with that he walked out of the common room._

Remus stopped talking and watched as Jess took it all in. Remus touched her hand. "Jess?" Jess looked up and caught his look.

"I can't believe this." Remus nodded. He wasn't sure what he was meant to say. "James isn't talking to Sirius is he?" Remus shook his head. Jess closed her eyes. "It's my entire fault. I know it." Remus shook his head.

"No it isn't. You can't blame this all on yourself. Nancy mentioned to me that you weren't feeling too great. You should have told us you didn't want a party. I'm the one who should be saying sorry." Jess frowned.

"This isn't your fault either Remus. In fact you haven't done anything wrong." Jess thought back to last night, "Remus, who did you blame?" Remus looked at her.

"Who do you think?" Jess looked at her hands. He blamed Sirius. Everyone blamed Sirius. Jess found that she didn't blame Sirius though. She remembered what Nancy had told her. About the drinks, wait how did Nancy know?

"Remus, was there something in the drinks?" Remus shrugged and shook his head.

"I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

"It's just something Nancy said. Before the party she mentioned that Sirius was going to drink and may not act like himself. That if something did happen I shouldn't blame him." Remus sat there. He knew what was wrong. He was surprised Jess didn't know.

"Right. That still doesn't excuse him for what he did." Jess smiled. She started to laugh. Remus couldn't see what was funny. "Jess, why are you laughing?" Jess looked at him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh. It's just. I don't mind." She smiled brightly at Remus. It wasn't fake, it was a real smile. "It'll be ok Remus. For some reason I have a good feeling. In the pit of my stomach. A good feeling." Remus frowned, not understanding what Jess meant. But Jess knew what she was feeling. That feeling of uncertainty, the bad feeling in her gut, the one telling her something was going to go wrong. It had turned into a good feeling. A feeling of happiness and one of peace. As if she knew this was going to happen and now it had happened she had no reason to feel it anymore. "It's okay Remus. Things are going to be better from now. We just have to make them better. Starting with you." Remus frowned.

"What do you mean?" Jess smiled sweetly.

"You have to forgive Sirius." Remus sat back onto his chair.

"What?" Jess knew this was going to happen, but he had to. He had to forgive Sirius if everything was going to be alright again.

"Remus don't you see? If you forgive him, as I have done then everything will be better. We'll be better. He hasn't done anything that bad. I'm okay with it." Jess smiled. Remus suddenly saw what she did. He knew what she was saying and nodded. Jess's smile grew. Remus smiled at her. The pair knew what they had to do. If only they had any idea of how they were going to deal with James.


	55. Teardrops on My Guitar

Hey guys, here's the next chapter. Hope you like it and I hope it clears some things up for you who didn't understand the previous chapter. Thanks for the reviews so far. Keep them coming please! Review with a smile. : )Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Teardrops on My Guitar

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar, the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star. He's the song in the car I keep singing don't know why I do._

Jess got out of the hospital wing the same day as her talk with Remus. Remus was the only one who helped her, which hurt Jess a little. Where was everyone else? Remus held her up and took her the long way round back to the common room so they didn't see anyone. Jess was thankful for this. The only time they did see someone it was a group of first years who didn't even notice them, or didn't notice Jess. When Remus spoke the password the fat lady smiled sweetly at Jess and gave her a worried look. Remus winked at the fat lady and helped Jess into the common room. When they entered everything went quiet. Jess looked up. There weren't many people in the common room, but the people who were looked up and stared. Remus rolled his eyes and helped Jess into a chair. A bunch of third year girls started to point and giggle. Jess felt herself go red and she stared at the floor. She didn't need people talking about her behind her back. Remus didn't sit next to her; instead he went over to the girls and spoke in a voice that made Jess look at him, "Whatever you're saying about Jess, you had better stop right now! She doesn't need this and if professor Dumbledore knew you lot were bitching about her and about what happened he would have something to say." Another voice spread through the common room that spoke sharply at the girls and at everyone else in the common room

"Remus is correct. If anyone dares say a word against Jess or Sirius they'll have to answer to us!" Jess turned and saw Nancy standing in front of James, Lily and Yasmin. Peter stood just behind them. Nancy looked as if she could kill. Jess sighed. The girls looked at each other and stood up; one of them stepped closer to Remus.

"God, get over it. It's totally old news now. The only news everyone is interested in, is the fact that Sirius Black is single again." Jess stood and frowned at the girl.

"What do you mean by that?" The girl turned slowly to face Jess and in a bitchy tone said,

"Well, since what he did to you was _so_ bad, everyone just figured you'd give up on him and he's back on the market." With that she spun on her heel and led the group of girls out of the common room. Jess stared at the spot she had been standing then she turned to face her friends. They were all looking rather guilty and none of them would meet her gaze. Remus helped her sit back down and he took a seat next to her. Nancy moved first and sat in the armchair across from Jess and Remus. Yasmin sat on the arm of the armchair. The others stayed standing all looking at the floor. Nancy cleared her throat. Jess looked up at James. She was surprised at him. He didn't look upset, he just looked annoyed. What was his problem? Jess felt a bit uncomfortable and turned to Nancy to say something. Instead it was Lily who spoke.

"Jess, we're really sorry. We should have made sure last night was about you. We were selfish and we just wanted to let you know what happened." Jess knew she was about to launch into the story and she had to be honest she didn't want to think about it again. Jess shook her head,

"It's alright Lily. I already know what went down." She threw a glance at Remus, who nodded at her to continue. "I just want to say..." Jess stopped. What did she want to say? Did she want to say she was disappointed in them? But she wasn't. In fact she was actually relieved this had happened, she had already figured that out. She looked up at James once more; he was staring out of the window, as if the window was more interesting than her. Jess sighed. "I want to say I don't mind." Yasmin fell off of the arm when Jess said that. Everyone turned to see if she was ok, but the only thing she could say was,

"You don't mind? We ruined your birthday and well, you know the rest about..." Jess knew she wanted to say Sirius. She looked behind Yasmin as she stood up. Peter was fidgeting with his top. Jess frowned, what was going on? Where was Sirius? She nodded and looked at Nancy.

"Actually guys, I'm feeling a bit rough. I was planning on going outside. Go for a walk maybe." Nancy got the picture and stood up. Remus helped Jess off of the sofa and handed her over to Nancy. Lily looked a bit upset and if she was about to cry. But Jess didn't know what to say to Lily yet. She smiled just to make sure Lily knew she wasn't mad at her. But instead Lily looked away. Jess got no response from James. As if she wasn't even there.

Nancy helped her walk to the entrance hall. "You doing ok?" Jess nodded and they didn't speak again till they were outside and sitting on a bench close to the school. No one could really see them, which made Jess feel more insured no one would hear them. When they were sitting down Jess turned to Nancy.

"How did you know something was going to happen?" Nancy sighed; she knew this had been coming. Jess needed to know. Nancy looked at her.

"I guess there is no time like the present." Jess frowned. "I overheard Sirius and Remus talking the other day. They were discussing something. About Sirius's home life. Something happened between him and his mother. Sirius started to yell at Remus and I could hear what they were saying. Sirius's mother had found out about what went down between you, Regulus and Sirius. Let's say Sirius said she wasn't happy and that she wanted to hurt you for doing that to her boys. Apparently his mother wants you to leave her sons alone. Remus asked if Sirius had stood up for you and he had." Nancy took a long deep breath, "Sirius said something about a punishment, I don't know exactly, but he seemed scared of it. Remus asked if you knew, the only other person who knew was James. Sirius seemed really torn up about what his mother had said. I think he needed an excuse to get drunk and your party was the best excuse. So everything he said last night meant nothing. It was a chance for him to forget about his life. But he also forgot where he was. I'm sorry about what he did, but I also know how strong those liquors were." Jess frowned. Nancy sighed once again. "I did something to them. Every time Sirius went for a drink I would put a type of potion my dad used to use. It makes the drink you're drinking, any drink, stronger and gets you drunk quicker. But if something distracts you, the spell is broken. I did it to help Sirius forget." Jess couldn't believe this. So Nancy had drugged Sirius? Nancy spoke once again. "I also put a spell on you." Jess snapped her head. "This morning, when you were talking with Remus, they weren't your words. I'm so sorry. But you have to forgive Sirius because he truly didn't know what he was doing." Nancy was on the verge of tears now. "Sirius is like my fourth cousin, we used to be close believe it or not." Jess sat there as Nancy started to cry. "When we started Hogwarts we were both Gryffindor for a reason. For first year it was a reason to talk to him, to be near him. But we floated apart. It's my fault Jess. I'm so sorry. I'm not strong like you or Sirius. Things have been rough at home and I can't handle everything falling apart right now." Jess stood and pulled Nancy into a hug. She never knew much about Nancy till now. They had never really been close until this year. She used to be cold and mean and Jess could see why. This was why. So she didn't get hurt.

"It's alright Nancy. I forgive you. And I still forgive Sirius." Jess pulled away. Nancy nodded. She sat back down.

"Do you think I could have a moment? By myself?" Jess nodded and squeezed her shoulder. Jess wasn't mad at Nancy; in fact she owed Nancy a lot.

"Thank you Nancy." Nancy nodded and put her head in her hands on top of the table. Jess silently left. Breathing in the air Jess walked up to the school. She had no idea what she was meant to do. She stopped and looked back over the grounds. There were people sitting around and some walking past her. None of them seemed to see her. Then Jess saw Peter running up the stairs. "Hey Peter." She stopped him in his tracks. He turned and looked at her.

"He, hey, hey Jess." He stuttered at her. Jess had never really gotten to know Peter. But she knew he was good friends with Sirius and looked up to James and Remus. They stood there for a moment as Jess thought about how little she knew about Peter. He spoke up first, "Did, do you w-w-want something?" Jess looked at him and slowly it came back to her.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, do you know where I can find Sirius?" She asked him. Peter turned and pointed towards a tree by the lake.

"He's there. I think I'm the only one talking to him. So, um, b-b-be careful." He walked away. Jess stared after him for a second. Peter could really surprise you when he wanted to. She made her way over without thinking. She didn't want to have to prepare herself. She wanted what she had to say to come to her from her heart. Wow, that sounded so sappy, she thought. Suddenly she heard music. It was a guitar. A boy started to sing,

"If I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by? Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you tonight." Jess took a few steps forward and heard him sing once more. "I, I don't want to let you know, I, I Drown in your memory I, I Don't want to let this go I, I don't...." He sighed and Jess saw it Sirius. He was strumming the guitar perfectly. Jess couldn't help but stop and stare. He looked over the lake and sung again. Making my way downtown  
Walking fast, Faces pass, and I'm home bound. Staring blankly ahead, just making my way, making a way through the crowd. And I still need you and I still miss you and now I wonder...." Jess stood forward and as Sirius started to sing she stopped once more and waited.

"If I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass us by? Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you..." As he started to sing, Jess joined in with him.

"If I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by? Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you..." Sirius stopped singing and looked at his fingers as he played. Jess sung on her own.

"If I could just hold you..." Together they sung the last words, staring at each other, "Tonight." Sirius put his guitar down and stared at Jess. Who smiled and sat next to him. "We make a good team, don't we?" Sirius didn't say anything. Jess started to speak again, "Do you know anymore songs? I mean, I know loads and I should probably know more about potions then I do song lyrics. Potions would help a hell of a lot more..." Sirius cut her off from her ramble.

"What do you want Jess? Why are you here?" Jess looked over at him. She saw he was hurt, lost and confused. He stared straight at her with questioning eyes. Jess took a breath and smiled. As she started to smile, Sirius spoke again, "If you're here to tell me we're over, and then just say it. Don't be a bitch and make me wait." Jess looked over towards the lake, saying nothing. How was meant to say everything she needed to? Sirius got irritated and stood up. He picked up his guitar and sighed, "Fine be that way. See if I care." He started to walk away, but froze in his footsteps when he heard her say,

"I forgive you." Sirius turned around. She was still looked across the lake.

"What?" He asked. Jess turned to looked at him. She wasn't crying as he expected. She was smiling.

"I said I forgive you. And I do. Because it wasn't your fault. In fact it was other peoples fault. I know you didn't mean it. So I'm forgiving you. So has Remus." Sirius stepped towards there. He looked shocked. He was speechless. Jess giggled at his face. He had his mouth wide open and his eyes seemed to be searching for something on the floor. Jess touched his leg, "It's ok. I'll tell you everything. Sit back down and close your mouth. You look like you're trying to catch a fly."


	56. Unwritten

Hey guys. Sorry I haven't updated for a while, been busy. Sorry. Well, here's the next chapter and thank you to all of you who have stuck with me! Keep it up please! Thank you for the reviews, please keep them coming. You make my day if you review. Thank you. Review and smile. : ) Jwebby.

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Unwritten

_Live your life with arms wide open today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten._

Jess spent the rest of the evening with Sirius. They didn't see anyone. But they were happy. Neither of them spoke about what had just happened. They were just happy. It was amazing. They talked about nothing in particular; sometimes they just lapsed into silence. But it was a good silence. Nothing uncomfortable about it. It was fine. Together they walked into the castle. If someone did notice them, they didn't stop them. No one crossed their path. Not one single soul. They walked in silence. It was as if they had run out of things to say. As if they had said everything. They departed with a simple kiss on the lips and a goodnight. Jess saw Sirius watch her climb the stairs. As soon as he was out of sight Jess ran up the last stairs. She entered her dormitory to find Yasmin sitting on Lily's bed whispering to Lily. Nancy wasn't in there, the bathroom door was shut. Jess smiled at her roommates. Yasmin stopped talking and turned to face Jess. Lily tried to smile at Jess. Jess made her way to her bed and turned her back on her friends. They had been talking about her. And they had been caught. And they knew it. Yasmin cleared her throat. Jess turned back to face them. "Hey guys." Jess spoke first. Yasmin stood forward.

"We've been talking Jess. We've decided that we're going to forgive Sirius." Yasmin said with a smile. Lily however didn't smile instead she exploded at Yasmin.

"I never said I was going to forgive Sirius. You said you were going to think about it. Not that you were." Jess frowned. Yasmin turned to look at Lily.

"Come on Lil, it's something Jess needs us to do. If she can forgive the bastard, so can we." Lily shook her head. Jess wasn't sure what they had been talking about now. Did Lily have a grudge against Sirius now? Yasmin sighed, "Remus has forgiven Sirius as well. He told me so." Lily sat back down onto her bed.

"I don't know anymore. James told me that he is fed up with Sirius. And he's a little annoyed with you as well." Lily looked at Jess. "He doesn't know what to do either. He's just pissed at Sirius more than anything." Lily looked towards the floor. She had tears in her eyes. Yasmin looked at Jess then back at Lily.

"Lily, what's going on?" Lily looked at the pair of them, now gathered round Lily's bed. Lily shook her head.

"He yelled at me. James yelled at me. He didn't say anything else, he just yelled." Lily started to cry. Jess felt her anger boiling up. She couldn't believe James would yell at Lily when he actually wanted to yell at her. Lily saw Jess's expression. "Oh Jess I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel guilty or anything. It's just, it's our first fight." Yasmin and Jess looked at her unbelievably. From what they knew Lily and James hadn't stopped fighting since first year. Lily saw their faces and knew what they were thinking, she rolled her eyes. "It's our first fight since we've been a couple." Jess and Yasmin both went 'oh' mentally. They understood now. Lily shook her head and looked at Jess. "I'm sorry. You're right of course. We should forgive Sirius if you can. I'm just upset right now." Jess nodded.

"I understand. Believe me I do." Lily giggled. Yasmin smiled. Before anyone could say anything the bathroom door swung open and Nancy walked out. She looked at the three of them, but said nothing. Yasmin grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom. Lily smiled and swung her legs back onto her bed. Jess walked slowly over to Nancy. "Hey." Nancy looked up at Jess.

"Oh hello Jess." Her tone was blunt. Jess thought they had left things fine, but apparently Nancy hadn't thought so.

"Are you alright?" Nancy shook her head.

"Not really. But it's alright. Don't worry about me Rhodes. I don't need your support." And with that Nancy shut her curtains on Jess. Jess shut her eyes and felt the emotions well up inside her. She wanted to yell. She needed to yell at someone. And she knew who she wanted to yell at. She stormed right out of the dormitory. Lily heard the door slam and opened the curtains.

"Oh no." Lily got up and ran after her.

Jess banged open the door of the boy's dormitory. Peter fell off of his bed at the sound of Jess opening the door. Remus stood up and Sirius smiled. James opened the bathroom door to see Jess there. He frowned. Jess turned and ran at him. She punched him round the face. He fell into the doorframe. "What the fuck was that for?" Jess pulled back.

"That was for yelling at Lily when you actually wanted to yell at me. So go on. Yell James! Yell at me, you know you want too!" Jess yelled at him. Lily appeared at the door and pulled Jess back.

"Jessica don't! Please?" Lily stared into Jess's eyes. "Jess, don't do this now." Jess turned back to James.

"Fine. But if you ever yell at Lily because you're pissed at something else I will do more than just hit you round the face." Jess threw him one more dirty look, and then stormed out. Lily stood there for a moment staring at James, then left herself. Sirius followed Lily out and grabbed her arm.

"Lily, I'm so sorry this is my entire fault. Can you tell Jess I need her help, because I know you're not planning on helping me." Lily frowned.

"Why wouldn't I help you Sirius?" Sirius stepped back and let her go. He was surprised. Lily smiled softly. "Did you think I was on James's side?" Sirius nodded with all honestly. "Well, I'm not." Sirius nodded.

"Well, I want, no, I need James to forgive me. I want my best friend back. Do you think you can help me?" Lily shrugged.

"I don't know. I'll try and I know Jess will too. Don't worry Sirius. We'll get James back and we'll sort this all out. This is our time Sirius. Our book to write." With that cryptic message Lily smiled and walked away leaving Sirius with a little more hope than he had started with.


	57. Breakaway

Hey guys. Here's the next chapter. Sorry it's been a while since I last updated. It's the summer holidays, so yay! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed; please keep reviewing I love to hear what you all have to say. So thank you. Well, here it is then. Review and smile. : ) Jwebby

Anything you know doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Breakaway

_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly, I'll do what it takes until I touch the sky and I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change and breakaway. _

Jess was late down for breakfast the following day and had to run to the great hall, or she would have had to have spent the first few lessons hungry. And when she was hungry her stomach told everyone she was hungry. As she skidded round the corner into the great hall she bumped right into James and Peter. For a few seconds she just stood and stared at James. He went to say something but Jess stepped round him and left without a word from either of them. James looked after her. He was lost. He felt as if he had lost everyone. Sirius, Jess and in a way Lily. Who he knew was siding with Jess and Sirius. He didn't even know why he was acting like this. He wanted to say sorry, but he didn't want to come over weak. Remus had said he thought James was being stupid, but James wasn't going to admit that Remus was correct. Again.

So for the rest of the day James ignored everyone. He kept his head down in classes and left everyone alone during break and lunch. The rest of the school had noticed this. And no one seemed to have anything to say about it. Except Snape. James accidentally knocked into him in the library. "Watch it Potter." Snape sneered at James. James glared at him, but didn't say anything and turned to leave. "What's this? Not going to try and hex me without your bodyguards Potter? How pathetic!" James breathed trying to control his anger. He didn't need Snape to piss him off right now. "So this is the real James Potter, a coward." James turned at this.

"Don't call me a coward!" He whispered a threat lying in his voice at the smaller boy. Snape laughed. James pulled his wand out and pointed it at Severus, who took a step back. James grinned at this gesture. "Who's the coward now? Don't dish stuff out you can't take Snape." James raised his wand so it was right in Severus's face. James knew he had the high ground but instead of walking away, he did something stupid and decided to provoke the Slytherin some more. He leant forward and whispered to Snape, "How does it feel that I won?" Snape frowned misunderstanding James. "I won." James looked Snape right in the eyes and he saw something there. Severus understood now and he was pissed. "It always seems to turn out like that. The good guy always wins. I win every little duel you decide to start and I won Lily. Not that it was much competition." James smiled at Snape and tapped his cheek lightly with his wand. "What a shame, it's just I'm the real deal. You're just some small, slimy, stuck-up Slytherin who in my opinion and everyone else's needs to slither back into his hole where he can look up at the world and see all us winners with everything they ever wanted." James pulled his wand away and took a step away from Snape. James shook his head he stared wide eyed at Severus, just realising what he had just said. He opened his mouth and said incredibly silently, but Snape still heard, "God, I'm sorry Snape." With that James left the library. Not knowing Severus Snape was following him, the anger inside Snape was clouding his better judgement and he didn't know he had said it until, "Sectumsempra!" James suddenly fell to the floor. Snape sneered and ran away. Madam Prince wondering what was going on outside her library came out to tell them off, when she saw James lying there in a pool of his own blood. She screamed.

It wasn't until dinner when Yasmin came running into the great hall with tears streaming down her face, Jess and the others found out about James. Yasmin collapsed against Remus, who sat there in stunned silence. Sirius fell off of his chair and sat on the floor with no words to say. Lily gasped and burst into tears. Jess stood up. The others all looked at her. She didn't look at them or say anything she just ran. She ran all the way up the stairs to the hospital wing. She slammed the doors open. Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore stood talking in the corner. Jess ignored them both and ran to James's side. He was breathing and seemed to be asleep. She fell into a chair and started to cry. She mumbled to James, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it. God, James." Looking at all the blood that stained the cloths which had yet to be removed Jess fainted on to the floor.

Jess held her head as she regained consciousness. She groaned and heard laughter. She looked round and saw James sitting on the bed next to which she lay, with the other marauders, Lily and Yasmin around him. Sirius had his arm round James. Jess put a hand to her head and shook her head. "Did I dream everything which has happened in the last week?" James laughed.

"No, Jessie you didn't." Jess looked over at each one of them and they all laughed at her. She sighed and lay back down.

"God I am surrounded by drama queens!" Sirius threw one of James's many pillows at her.

"Look who's talking?!" Everyone else laughed as the pillow hit Jess and she lobbed it back at Sirius, just missing his head. Sirius stood up and went to sit with Jess on her bed. He leant down and kissed her head. "Awww, did I hurt your poor little head?" Jess hit his hands away. But she had a huge smile on her face, so when Sirius acted hurt she kissed him softly on the lips. Sirius smiled sweetly at her and Jess looked back at her friends who all seemed to have that ridiculous look on their faces, which said 'aren't they cute?" Jess rolled her eyes.

"Shut up!" The chorus of laughter she received at that she didn't register as Sirius had decided he wasn't happy with just one kiss.


	58. The Power of Love

Hey everyone, I'm really so sorry about not having updated this for nearly a year! I've just finished year 11 and taking GCSE's so hopefully over the next few weeks I'll be updated more regularly. Well, I'm hoping I will be. Here is the long awaited next update. Thanks for sticking with me. Please review with your thoughts.

Jwebby

The Power of Love

_It's strong and it's sudden and it can be cruel sometimes. But it might just save your life. That's the power of love._

Laughter rippled through the group of teenagers sitting and lying round the edge of the lake. The weather was stunning; the sun beamed down onto them. Luckily these teenagers had found their way to shade under a large willow tree. They were all happy. It seemed the weather had decided to reflect just how these young adults were feeling. Jess looked round at her friends and watched them all converse about one thing or the other. Exams were long over and the end of term was approaching fast. Jess thought about what might happen over the summer. Maybe her and Sirius could meet up every weekend to just sit around and talk. The thought made her smile. But then with everything that was going on with Sirius and his home life, she knew it would not be so easy.

Sirius saw Jess's smile falter slightly and kissed her on the temple and whispered, "Hey, you alright?" Jess turned to look into the eyes of the boy she was currently sitting on. She nodded, still unsure of what might happen. With everything that had gone on this year she felt like she needed a break. But apparently life wasn't going to give her that blessing yet.

"Yeah I'm just thinking about the summer." This statement made the other conversations stop around her. James pulled Lily closer to him. Jess glanced at him briefly. He looked so tired. From what she had heard from Sirius he still had those nasty cuts from that horrible spell Snape had cast those few days ago. Remus sighed loudly.

"It's kinda hard to imagine it's the end of the year." Yasmin who was sitting next to Remus making a daisy chain, nodded with agreement. Remus caught Jess's eye. "Though come to think of it, it isn't really. All the crap we've been through this year I think we all deserve a break."

"Amen to that brother!" Sirius called to Remus. This caused the group to laugh and the seriousness of the matter dissolved. Well for everyone else it did. For Jess it was still there and making her feel less happy about the end of term. If anyone noticed that she didn't get too involved in the conversations from that point on, no one mentioned it.

That evening in the Great Hall Jess sat down next to Nancy who was reading a large text book. "Um, are you studying?" Jess asked astonished when Nancy nodded.

"Yes I am. I've decided why not get a heads start for next year?" Jess rolled her eyes.

"I for one think that's very sensible of you Nancy." Lily, James and Sirius took seats around the pair. Lily smiled widely and proudly to Nancy. James and Sirius shared a bored look. Jess simply smiled. Food appeared on the table and everyone started eating. Nancy however was having trouble fitting the large book into her bag. Jess and Lily were both rather amused with the curses Nancy came out with until she finally gave up and slammed the book onto the table. The loud slam caught the attention of mostly everyone in the hall. Nancy exclaimed loudly, "Stupid piece of nnah." Sirius and James both erupted in fits of laughter. Lily also started to giggle. Jess laughed and looked at Nancy who was giving them all rather dirty looks.

"Stupid piece of nnah? Nice cursing Simpson. Next time we need angry comebacks we all know who to come to." Sirius ducked as the book in question was chucked at his head. Luckily it landed in the space between the tables and didn't knock out some poor soul on the table behind Sirius. Nancy was just about to yell at Sirius, when the entrance of Yasmin and Remus caught the group of friend's attention. They both look rather red and were keeping their heads down as they did the walk of shame down towards their mates. James raised an eyebrow and whispered to Sirius, "Ready to do some teasing?" Sirius rubbed his hands together with an evil smirk,

"Oh yeah." When Remus and Yasmin reached them, the pair stopped before taking their seats and looked at the amused faces of their friends. James was the one to start the conversation to follow,

"So, where have you two been? And more importantly what have you two been up to?" Both Remus and Yasmin blushed furiously and both sat down on opposite sides of the table. Sirius looked from Yasmin to Remus,

"Well, aren't you going to answer Prongs question? Moony?" Remus shook his head and said in a rather hush voice.

"Shut up." Before James or Sirius could say anything else Professor Dumbledore stood and cleared his throat. Jess smirked when she caught Yasmin eye and mouthed,

"Later." And nodded her head at Remus. Yasmin turned away to look up at their headmaster.

"Now that you're all here." His gaze lingered over Remus and Yasmin for a mere second then he continued. "I would like to announce the End of Year dance. Every year is invited of course and it'll be two days before the last day of term. Dress robes will need to be worn. Thank you." As soon as he sat down everyone started talking. All thoughts of Remus's and Yasmin's late entrance were lost in gossip of the dance. Lily and Yasmin started talking about dresses while Jess and Nancy exchanged looks and groaned. They both knew that they were going to be dragged around endless shops. Great.

After dinner talk of the dance was still going on. It seemed to be the only thing anyone could talk about. Jess had found a way to escape Lily and Yasmin and was sitting on a window ledge somewhere on the fourth floor corridor. No one was really around as it was nearly curfew, but Jess was too occupied with the setting sun. She watched it fall beneath the tress. The brightness of the red in the sky fascinated her. A voice from behind her pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Red sky at night, Sheppard's delight." Jess smiled and turned to see Sirius standing in the shadows. He walked forward and sat next to her. He too stared out the window until Jess voiced both their thoughts,

"What are we going to do about the summer?" Sirius shrugged. Jess took his hand. "You don't have to go back home. You can come back to mine." Sirius shook his head.

"I have to go and face them. There's nothing else I can do. Trust me Jess, I'll be fine. You don't have to spend all your energy on worrying about me. All you need to worry about is making yourself look even more gorgeous for that dance." Jess smiled and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Is this your way of asking me to the dance?" Sirius winked at her and pulled her to her feet.

"How did you guess?" Jess shook her head.

"You're a real romantic aren't you Sirius?" Sirius laughed and pulled her close. Jess could feel how serious he was being in his actions even if his words were spoken with laughter.

"I try my dear."


	59. Sound Of Music

Sorry once again for not updating sharply. Here's the new one. Please review and thanks to you who have already reviewed. Next one up soon.

All mistakes are mine. Don't own. JWebby

The Sound of Music

_The hills are alive, with the sound of music. With songs they have sung for a thousand years._

Jess frowned as her dorm-mates rushed around getting ready for the night's festivities. Lily was running into the bathroom while brushing her hair, Yasmin was zipping up the side of her dress and Nancy was painting her lips a deep red. Jess however was sitting on her bed in her skinny jeans and a short sleeved t-shirt. For some reason she didn't want to get ready or start getting ready. Lily came back out of the bathroom with her hair up in a bun and she was the one who noticed Jess's movements, or lack of. "Jess! You've got to get ready! The dance starts in like an hour and you're not even showered yet." The rest stopped in their state and turned their attention to Jess. Nancy rolled her eyes.

"Jessica, get your butt into gear. You don't want to keep Sirius waiting all night do you?" Jess shrugged and looked down at the blue dress lying on the bed next to her. It was a gorgeous dress which Jess had been told by all her friends suited her perfectly. But Jess couldn't bring herself to wear it.

"I'm not in the mood." She whispered just loud enough for Lily to hear her. Lily shook her head at her and picked the dress up.

"Not in the mood for what? Getting ready? The dance? Sirius?" Nancy and Yasmin both raised their eyebrows at the last one. Jess shook her head.

"No, I guess I'm just not in the mood for anything. But you guys are right, I have to try." Nancy smirked and winked at Lily. Lily pulled Jess up off the bed after giving her the dress.

"Now, we're going to help you get ready and you're going to have fun." Lily said in a demanding tone. Jess stuck her tongue out at her.

"I don't have to like it though." Nancy smacked her round the head. Jess glared her so-called friends when she noticed they all had the same look on their faces. She was in for one hell of the night.

"Get in the shower. Now." Lily and Yasmin pushed her into the bathroom and magically locked the door from the outside so she had no choice but to do as they said.

A little over an hour later Sirius was placing the floor of the common room. James and Remus were perching on the back of one of the sofas. James sighed and looked at his watch. The three had been waiting for nearly ten minutes for their dates. Sirius had taken up pacing about five minutes ago and Remus had told him to wait about twenty odd times during those five minutes. Now it wasn't only Remus getting annoyed with Sirius's pacing. James couldn't take it anymore, "Sirius! Stop that. It's not going to make them come down any faster." Sirius stopped and turned to argue with him when the sound of giggling drifted their way from the top of the staircase. It had to be their girls as everyone else had already gone.

Nancy came down first in a stunning yellow dress which trailed behind her on the floor. She smiled and nodded at each of them before turning to watch her friends descend. Yasmin followed Nancy in a two toned black and white short cocktail dress. Her dark hair pulled up in several curls. Remus stepped forward and took her hand. "You look fantastic Yasmin." Yasmin blushed at Remus and nodded.

"You don't look so bad yourself." Their greeting was broke by Nancy clearing her throat and grinning at Lily who was now standing at the bottom of the staircase. James felt his breath taken away. Lily was wearing a dark green dress which brought out the green of her eyes. Her hair was now in waves down her back and her dress showed off her heels which both had lace which wrapped around her ankles. Lily walked over to James who had been too busy staring at her to move. She smiled brightly at him.

"Well, don't you look handsome Mr Potter?" James grinned at her and took her into his arms.

"Not as beautiful as you look Miss Evans." Nancy winked at Lily who caught her eyes. Then Nancy sighed and said very loudly she was going to go find her date. Yasmin nodded and grabbed Remus's hand to get him to follow. Lily pulled away from James and the three girls were about to head out when Sirius called,

"What about Jess?" Nancy, Lily and Yasmin all smiled at him then their gaze looked at something behind him. James and Remus's eyes widened at the sight.

"What about me?" Jess spoke as she wobbled down the stairs. Sirius spun round and nearly fell down when he saw Jess.

"Wow." Was all that he could say. Jess smiled nervously. She was wearing her blue dress which pulled out slightly at her waist and showed off her shoulders. It was such a pale blue it fitted her skin tone perfectly. Her hair was pulled back into a plait which ran down her back. Sirius walked up to her and took her hand. "You look amazing." He kissed her hand and together the three couples and Nancy walked to the Great Hall.

After about two hours of dancing, laughing, eating and drinking Jess was officially bored. She knew she shouldn't be, but everything was just so boring. She had danced with Sirius, James and Remus and all her girl mates and now all she wanted to do was go up to her bed and read her book. Sirius was getting a drink, James and Lily were dancing, Remus and Yasmin were talking to fellow classmates and Jess had no idea where Nancy had gone. Jess was sitting at their table and was watching people having fun. Jess looked up and saw Sirius talking to the barman about something. He seemed really into it. Jess sighed and decided she'd take a walk.

As she made her way out Remus caught her arm, "Hey where you heading?" Jess shrugged.

"For a walk. If you see Sirius tell him I'm around somewhere." Remus nodded and let her go, turning back to his conversation. Jess walked into the crowd and slowly disappeared.

Sirius walked away from the bar. The barman had tried to get into a conversation about Quidditch with him but Sirius had totally owned his butt and walked away triumphantly. But when he got to the table Jess was nowhere to be seen. Sirius put his glass down and stood on a chair to look over the heads of the dancers. Nope, she wasn't dancing. Sirius jumped down and frowned. Jess had been looking at the dancers when he had left, he was sure she would have gone to dance. Apparently not. Sirius saw Peter hurrying towards him. He waved at him and called, "Hey Pete, have you seen Jess?" Peter simply shook his head and kept going. Sirius shrugged, not sparing a thought on his friend's strange actions. As Sirius made his way down the Great Hall he noticed Nancy sitting at a table staring at the windows opposite her. He frowned and was about to go to her when a dark haired boy offered her a dance and her face lightened up. He smiled and shook his head thinking that Nancy would ever be down at a party. "If you're looking for Jess I saw her go out the doors." A cold voice spoke from behind him. Sirius turned and looked into a pair of grey eyes. Regulus. "Just thought you might want to know." Sirius couldn't think of anything to say to his own brother. Regulus stared at Sirius for a moment, but seeing he wasn't going to say anything he sneered and pushed past him. Sirius turned and said, "Regulus." But he was too late. His younger brother had walked away and little did he know walked out of his life.

Sirius walked out to the gardens following his brother's advice. He glanced around and saw various couples making out in the bushes. Trying not to gag he walked past the snogging couples to see his angel standing by the lake. It looked as though she was throwing pebbles in. As he got closer he saw she was skimming them.

One bounced four times and then fell into the water Jess sighed. What was she worried about? Out of nowhere a pebble skimmed out into the middle of the lake. "Oh yeah! Who's good? That'd be me!" Jess shook her head and didn't turn to meet Sirius's gaze. If she had she would have realised it wasn't one of victory, but one of concern. He walked next to her and kept his eyes fixed on the top of the lake water. They stood in silence for a moment or two until Sirius spoke quietly, "I'm sorry Jess." Jess snapped her head up to him.

"What?" Oh god, why was he saying sorry? So many bad thoughts rushed through Jess's mind. Was he breaking up with her? He better not. She knew there was a reason why she shouldn't have come tonight. But instead of breaking up with her, Sirius sighed and looked her right in the eye.

"I'm so sorry for all the hurt I've ever put you through. Over the years I've been a jerk to you. I've been the person to put you down all the time. But I'm finally seeing that I love you. I've always loved you. I've just never known how to say it. Maybe I didn't realise until now. But I know that you're the only girl for me. No one can ever replace you; no matter what happens." Jess felt tears come to eyes.

"I love you too Sirius." With that Sirius pulled her to him and the two shared the most passionate kiss either had ever felt.


End file.
